Status: (this was originally titled Out of the Darkness) in progress! please leave comments/criticisms <3
A Little's Enough
the dress.
End of October
Teigann's POV
I couldn't believe how fast time was passing. I had been spending all my free time outside of work with Gerard or all of our friends. Since mom had been spending even more time at Brian's, Gerard had spent quite a few nights over. While I was sure of how I felt for him, I still wasn't ready to give myself to him. Thankfully he had been okay with that. He had told me over and over that I could take as long as I needed, as long as he was still allowed to kiss and hold me he'd make it through. I was even more nervous about the sex subject because he had been honest enough to tell me that he wasn't a virgin like I was. He had more experience and that freaked me out a little.
While I was being honest with myself about this topic, I had to admit that part of my hesitation was due to my scars, and the fact that I still hadn’t fessed up to anyone about the last lapse I’d had with cutting. Since that night it hadn’t happened anymore and I still didn’t want to worry anyone that it had. Lately if I started feeling really down I just called Gerard, talked to him or asked him to come over and by the time we got off the phone I had calmed enough to stop thinking of self harm. I was ashamed of my body though, I couldn’t stand the sight of myself naked, I couldn’t imagine anyone else seeing me that way. Some of my scars were faded from being made so long ago. Some of them were so deep when made that they stood raised and more pink than the rest. They were ugly. I didn’t want Gerard to see the ugly parts of me.
We were going out to have a double celebration of mine and Frank’s birthdays. Following dinner we’d be heading to the Way household. As always, October had come over to get ready. She showed up this time with a large bag in one hand, most likely containing hair product and makeup out the wazoo. In the other hand she held a simple gift bag.
“This is for you bebs.” she said as she held the gift bag out. “I think you should open it now, as it’ll come in handy for tonight.”
I had to laugh at her being so pushy. We sat down on the couch and to keep her happy I began opening her present.
“Happy Birthday Teigann.” She smiled really big. “I’ve seen you look at it so many times at the mall, I took it upon myself to make sure you finally owned it.”
From the bag, I pulled out the dress I’d been eyeing at the mall for weeks. “October, you shouldn’t have.” was the first thing out of my mouth.
“Yes, I should have.” she shot back, a big grin on her face. “And before you can come up with an excuse, I checked to make sure it was long enough for you.”
She had figured out why I hadn’t bought it. “Thank you October, but are you sure?” I looked up, hopeful and excited and nervous. “You’re sure it’ll cover them?”
“If you’re so worried, go try it on. It’s just me here, and I’ll tell you if I can see anything.” She reached over for my hand. “Teigh, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t get to feel absolutely stunning on your birthday.” She gave a gentle squeeze. “Now go! Go and try it!”
“Okay, I guess it couldn’t hurt.” I made my way to the bathroom to change into it quickly. I had been so scared that it wouldn’t cover my scars that I hadn’t even considered buying it for myself. I had loved it though and I was grateful that October was so thoughtful.
I took a breath and walked back out to the living room. October stayed silent, but her expression lit up. All she could do was smile at me.
“Boo, say something, anything. Can you see?” I asked, slightly frantic. While it was a gorgeous dress, I was still worried that you might just be able to see the edges of where the scars were on my thigh.
“Teigann, you look beautiful. It’s perfect! It covers everything. You have to wear it tonight!”
I spun around and she laughed at me. “Thank you so much October.” I took her up in a hug. “You don’t know how much this means to me.”
“You’re welcome, and I think I kind of have an idea.” she smirked.
“Gerard’s not going to be able to resist you in that dress though.”
She giggled a bit, knowing that I was having wars with myself about the idea of sex. Sure, I wanted that to happen with him. Sure, part of me was beyond ready for it. In the end, it was just fear and shame that I needed to get past.
“Maybe tonight will be the night.” I winked, joking with her.
Thankfully she knew I wasn’t being serious. But somewhere in my head, I thought maybe tonight could be the night… if I could just get around the scars.
Teigann's POV
I couldn't believe how fast time was passing. I had been spending all my free time outside of work with Gerard or all of our friends. Since mom had been spending even more time at Brian's, Gerard had spent quite a few nights over. While I was sure of how I felt for him, I still wasn't ready to give myself to him. Thankfully he had been okay with that. He had told me over and over that I could take as long as I needed, as long as he was still allowed to kiss and hold me he'd make it through. I was even more nervous about the sex subject because he had been honest enough to tell me that he wasn't a virgin like I was. He had more experience and that freaked me out a little.
While I was being honest with myself about this topic, I had to admit that part of my hesitation was due to my scars, and the fact that I still hadn’t fessed up to anyone about the last lapse I’d had with cutting. Since that night it hadn’t happened anymore and I still didn’t want to worry anyone that it had. Lately if I started feeling really down I just called Gerard, talked to him or asked him to come over and by the time we got off the phone I had calmed enough to stop thinking of self harm. I was ashamed of my body though, I couldn’t stand the sight of myself naked, I couldn’t imagine anyone else seeing me that way. Some of my scars were faded from being made so long ago. Some of them were so deep when made that they stood raised and more pink than the rest. They were ugly. I didn’t want Gerard to see the ugly parts of me.
We were going out to have a double celebration of mine and Frank’s birthdays. Following dinner we’d be heading to the Way household. As always, October had come over to get ready. She showed up this time with a large bag in one hand, most likely containing hair product and makeup out the wazoo. In the other hand she held a simple gift bag.
“This is for you bebs.” she said as she held the gift bag out. “I think you should open it now, as it’ll come in handy for tonight.”
I had to laugh at her being so pushy. We sat down on the couch and to keep her happy I began opening her present.
“Happy Birthday Teigann.” She smiled really big. “I’ve seen you look at it so many times at the mall, I took it upon myself to make sure you finally owned it.”
From the bag, I pulled out the dress I’d been eyeing at the mall for weeks. “October, you shouldn’t have.” was the first thing out of my mouth.
“Yes, I should have.” she shot back, a big grin on her face. “And before you can come up with an excuse, I checked to make sure it was long enough for you.”
She had figured out why I hadn’t bought it. “Thank you October, but are you sure?” I looked up, hopeful and excited and nervous. “You’re sure it’ll cover them?”
“If you’re so worried, go try it on. It’s just me here, and I’ll tell you if I can see anything.” She reached over for my hand. “Teigh, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t get to feel absolutely stunning on your birthday.” She gave a gentle squeeze. “Now go! Go and try it!”
“Okay, I guess it couldn’t hurt.” I made my way to the bathroom to change into it quickly. I had been so scared that it wouldn’t cover my scars that I hadn’t even considered buying it for myself. I had loved it though and I was grateful that October was so thoughtful.
I took a breath and walked back out to the living room. October stayed silent, but her expression lit up. All she could do was smile at me.
“Boo, say something, anything. Can you see?” I asked, slightly frantic. While it was a gorgeous dress, I was still worried that you might just be able to see the edges of where the scars were on my thigh.
“Teigann, you look beautiful. It’s perfect! It covers everything. You have to wear it tonight!”
I spun around and she laughed at me. “Thank you so much October.” I took her up in a hug. “You don’t know how much this means to me.”
“You’re welcome, and I think I kind of have an idea.” she smirked.
“Gerard’s not going to be able to resist you in that dress though.”
She giggled a bit, knowing that I was having wars with myself about the idea of sex. Sure, I wanted that to happen with him. Sure, part of me was beyond ready for it. In the end, it was just fear and shame that I needed to get past.
“Maybe tonight will be the night.” I winked, joking with her.
Thankfully she knew I wasn’t being serious. But somewhere in my head, I thought maybe tonight could be the night… if I could just get around the scars.