Maybe Someday.

Rays of light slowly start seeping in through the drawn curtains, signaling morning is here for the rest of the world, but I curl up in comfort of my bed and cocoon my warm blankets around my body.

I’m tired.

I’m tired of things being this way. I’m tired of having to try every time I talk to him. I’m tired of having to fight to have my best friend back. I’m tired of him.

There’s a point where I need to draw the line and as much as it hurts, the time is now. I can’t keep going on like this.

I allow my eyelids to become heavy and drift off into a light sleep. I don’t know how long it is before I’m startled back to consciousness by my roommate Claire barging into the room and throwing back the curtains, allowing the light to stream into the room entirely.

“Good morning, star shine! The earth says, ‘Hello!’” She beams, hopping onto my bed and laying her head next to mine on the pillow.

“I don’t wanna wake up,” I say stubbornly, burying myself even deeper into the warmth. “I don’t want to do anything today.”

She sits up and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear before biting her lip in thought. “So, you and Dan fought again, or some stupid shit like that.”

“How’d you guess?” I ask sarcastically. It’s no secret Dan and I haven’t been getting along lately, but Claire has been getting the brunt of the drama and is tired of it.

She shakes her head and stands up, holding out her hand for me to take. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself, Allie,” She says sternly. “You can’t keep letting this get you down.”

“I know,” I take her hand and allow her to hoist me out of bed. She pulls me into a hug and wraps her arms tightly around my body.

As stupid as it is and as much as I know it’s more struggle than it’s worth, my friendship with Dan is something I can’t just let go of.

“Go shower, bitch. You smell bad,” Claire announces after a few moments of quiet. “I understand why he doesn’t want you, now.”

I roll my eyes and grab my bath towel off the hook on the back of the door. Of the two of us, Dan is the one who wants more. Or, wanted, rather. I don’t know how he feels anymore because I don’t know anything about him anymore.

The cool water helps ease my mind about last night and I take a long shower just to think. Think about everything; how we became friends, when things got weird, and then how we ended up like this.

Broken and miserable.