Status: Completed.
Secret Love and the Fastest Way to Happiness
Secret Love And The Fastest Way To Happiness
Sam's P.O.V.
"I cant believe your not going. Idiot!" Alyssa yelled hitting me.
"Well I have working and my parents wouldnt let me."
"Bull."
whatever.
"I still dont know why you dont want to go on a free trip with your two best friend and your sex puppet for a whole summer."
"Alyssa just drop it!"
"Okay. Can you say PMS."
"Whatever I have to go."
I stood up and stormed out of her room. I got in my car driving to Alexs. I know what youre thinking, Im a complete dumbass for not going. This is like my chance to get out of this town. This is my chance to finally do something and try to make connections so I couldnt get out of this town. This is like my only chance to get out, but I didnt want to use Alex like that. I came to realize that I like Alex. I liked Alex a whole lot. This past month was one of my best relationship with a guy. He treated me so good unlike any other guy I have ever met. The worst thing is about this whole situation was the fact that he wasnt my boyfriend. I got to his door and knocked barley making a noise. The door pulled open and then there he stood with a smile.
"Come in."
We went up to his room and I saw two bags packed along with his guitar. I took off my sandal and sat on his bed with my legs crossed Indian style and just stared up at him.
"Your leaving tomorrow."
"Yeah I mean you can still come."
"You know I cant", I said as his face got sad all of a sudden.
"Yeah", he said with his hands in his pocket rocking back and forth still having that sad look on his face.
"I just came by to see you before you left."
He walked over to me sitting down on his bed looking directing at me. He took me in his arms rubbing my back calming me down. I felt his lips against my neck giving me the shivers.
"I think I love you."
"What?" I asked pushing him off of me.
"I think I love you."
"Alex."
"Just be my girlfriend. Please", he pleaded.
"You- I I cant."
"Why not? Do you still love Mark or do you expect you guys to get back together or what cause it not fair for you to string me along like this."
"Ive never loved Mark, Alex. Thats why I cheated on him. You should know you with me, actually in me."
"Then why were you with him after what happen with us? Why were you with him for so long?" he asked confused.
"Because Alex hes going places. Hes going to go pro. Hes like my golden ticket out of here. Face it Alex he was my only chance out of here, my last chance."
"Let me be that ticket?"
"NO! Dont waste you time on me."
"Samantha I love you. Ive never felt like this before. Just use me please. You know how pathetic I sound begging you to use me."
"Then stop", I said sternly and he looked thrown off by the tone in my voice.
"I cant, dont you understand I love you."
"Youre too good for me. You dont deserve someone like me."
He walked over to me grabbing my hand into his. I shook my head pulling my hands away from his grip.
"Please Samantha."
"Bye. Have a safe trip", I said kissing his cheek and walking out.
Ever since I could remember Ive been that weird kid that held in all their emotion. When I would fall and scrape my knee I wouldnt cry I would laugh. I held in my emotions. I held back all my tears that were forming making t harder to see the road on the drive back home. I held back every emotion I was feeling. Sadness, regret, confusion, everything that were calling out for a therapist. I got of my car and walked up the stairs to my room. I looked down at my phone as Ants in My Pants started to play from it. I let one tear fall from my eye and run down my cheek. I reached over flipping it over.
FRM: ALEX
Can't you see there should have been a happy ending
we let go?
please dont let go
I love you <33
I threw my phone against the wall and cried my eyes out. I heard the creak from the door opening. I looked up and saw Hannah standing there with a sad worried face. I struggled to wipe away all my tears, wipe away evidence of me having this melt down. I took deep breathe trying to regain my composure. She saw right through me, she saw right through this front I was putting on. She ran to me and grabbed me in her arms.
"What happen?"
"I ended things with Alex."
"Why?" she asked whipping away stray tears and pushing my hair out of my face.
"I think I love him."
She gave me this confused look. I just shook my head she just grabbed me into a bone crushing hug. She knew everything that went on between Alex and I. She knew everything about Mark. She was there taking care of me when I came home drunk. I would tell her everything spilling my guts out to my walking diary. She knew about Alex and all the other guys. Mostly Alex, its always been ALEX. God, Im screwed up in the head. This is a mess that I will never be able to clean up.
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"I cant believe your not going. Idiot!" Alyssa yelled hitting me.
"Well I have working and my parents wouldnt let me."
"Bull."
whatever.
"I still dont know why you dont want to go on a free trip with your two best friend and your sex puppet for a whole summer."
"Alyssa just drop it!"
"Okay. Can you say PMS."
"Whatever I have to go."
I stood up and stormed out of her room. I got in my car driving to Alexs. I know what youre thinking, Im a complete dumbass for not going. This is like my chance to get out of this town. This is my chance to finally do something and try to make connections so I couldnt get out of this town. This is like my only chance to get out, but I didnt want to use Alex like that. I came to realize that I like Alex. I liked Alex a whole lot. This past month was one of my best relationship with a guy. He treated me so good unlike any other guy I have ever met. The worst thing is about this whole situation was the fact that he wasnt my boyfriend. I got to his door and knocked barley making a noise. The door pulled open and then there he stood with a smile.
"Come in."
We went up to his room and I saw two bags packed along with his guitar. I took off my sandal and sat on his bed with my legs crossed Indian style and just stared up at him.
"Your leaving tomorrow."
"Yeah I mean you can still come."
"You know I cant", I said as his face got sad all of a sudden.
"Yeah", he said with his hands in his pocket rocking back and forth still having that sad look on his face.
"I just came by to see you before you left."
He walked over to me sitting down on his bed looking directing at me. He took me in his arms rubbing my back calming me down. I felt his lips against my neck giving me the shivers.
"I think I love you."
"What?" I asked pushing him off of me.
"I think I love you."
"Alex."
"Just be my girlfriend. Please", he pleaded.
"You- I I cant."
"Why not? Do you still love Mark or do you expect you guys to get back together or what cause it not fair for you to string me along like this."
"Ive never loved Mark, Alex. Thats why I cheated on him. You should know you with me, actually in me."
"Then why were you with him after what happen with us? Why were you with him for so long?" he asked confused.
"Because Alex hes going places. Hes going to go pro. Hes like my golden ticket out of here. Face it Alex he was my only chance out of here, my last chance."
"Let me be that ticket?"
"NO! Dont waste you time on me."
"Samantha I love you. Ive never felt like this before. Just use me please. You know how pathetic I sound begging you to use me."
"Then stop", I said sternly and he looked thrown off by the tone in my voice.
"I cant, dont you understand I love you."
"Youre too good for me. You dont deserve someone like me."
He walked over to me grabbing my hand into his. I shook my head pulling my hands away from his grip.
"Please Samantha."
"Bye. Have a safe trip", I said kissing his cheek and walking out.
Ever since I could remember Ive been that weird kid that held in all their emotion. When I would fall and scrape my knee I wouldnt cry I would laugh. I held in my emotions. I held back all my tears that were forming making t harder to see the road on the drive back home. I held back every emotion I was feeling. Sadness, regret, confusion, everything that were calling out for a therapist. I got of my car and walked up the stairs to my room. I looked down at my phone as Ants in My Pants started to play from it. I let one tear fall from my eye and run down my cheek. I reached over flipping it over.
FRM: ALEX
Can't you see there should have been a happy ending
we let go?
please dont let go
I love you <33
I threw my phone against the wall and cried my eyes out. I heard the creak from the door opening. I looked up and saw Hannah standing there with a sad worried face. I struggled to wipe away all my tears, wipe away evidence of me having this melt down. I took deep breathe trying to regain my composure. She saw right through me, she saw right through this front I was putting on. She ran to me and grabbed me in her arms.
"What happen?"
"I ended things with Alex."
"Why?" she asked whipping away stray tears and pushing my hair out of my face.
"I think I love him."
She gave me this confused look. I just shook my head she just grabbed me into a bone crushing hug. She knew everything that went on between Alex and I. She knew everything about Mark. She was there taking care of me when I came home drunk. I would tell her everything spilling my guts out to my walking diary. She knew about Alex and all the other guys. Mostly Alex, its always been ALEX. God, Im screwed up in the head. This is a mess that I will never be able to clean up.
Cancel our subscription we dont need you issues anymore