Status: Completed.
Secret Love and the Fastest Way to Happiness
Secret Love And The Fastest Way To Happiness [29]
Sam's P.O.V.
"Good Morning sunshine."
"Fuck Alyssa, do you really have to scream."
"Someone is cranky and dealing with a hangover", she said sitting down on the bed.
"She's sex deprived", Jennifer said laying down next to me.
"No she's Alex deprived", Katelyn said putting her hand on my shoulder.
"Whatever guys."
"So what happen last night?"
I looked over at Katelyn and shrugged. She rolled her eyes and sighed loud.
"You werent that drunk when you walked off with Alex."
"Yeah I know, but i got wasted once i found out he's leaving on tour."
"Oh yeah, dont remind me", they all said looking down.
"I love it how were all the ALL TIME LOW groupie club", Alyssa said laughing.
"Ay at least were actually with the guys in the actually band and not their manager", Jen said smiling.
"Fuck you fugly pug face."
"Eat me."
"I'm not a lesbian hunny."
"Thats not what you said last night baby."
"Guys shut up".
I looked over at Katelyn and mouther thank you. She just smiled and nodded her head.
"So are you going to tell Alex?"
I looked over at Alyssa raising my eyebrows. I heard them all sigh.
"Tell him what?"
"Sam i love you and all but your a horrible liar and a lousy human being."
"Huh?"
"Jesus christ you love Alex, Alex loves you!"
I looked over at Jen who surprised me with the sudden outburst. Sounded more and more like Jack. I just shrugged and furred my eyebrows together.
"I dont know what your talking about."
"Sam seriously stop. Your in love with him. Always have been and always will be."
I just let it soak in. I know i love him its obvious. I love that boy with every fiber of my being. He was that guy that i could spend my life with. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes knowing he was going to leave and probably find someone better. Someone who wouldnt hurt him time after time. Someone better for him. But all i wanted to do, was be that girl. I was in love with Alexander William Gaskarth
"I love him."
I watched them give each other glances. It was like they were talking about me through mind control. I looked down at the bracelet that Alex mad me back in 9th grade. I wore it everyday. Little things like this, is what gets me. I looked around my room and everything reminded me of him. Not Mark, not Gavin not anyone. Its always been Alex. I was just too blind and too stupid to actually take a chance. Scared of what i might do to him, scared to what he might do to me. Heartache and rejection is what teenagers mostly fear.
"Sam."
I snapped out of my thoughts and took a look around at all the girls staring back at me with both a smile and yet a serious face.
"You have to tell him", Katelyn said patting my leg.
"I'm scared."
"What are you scared of?" Jen asked.
The question replaying in my head over and over again. What was i scared of? Was i scared of failing with him. If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down but the staying down. But was i really taking my own advice. Was i really listening to myself. If you don't risk anything, you risk even more. But was i really able to risk my heart? Was i ready to put my heart out like that. FEAR. Fear is a strong emotion that stops many people from doing great things. The most destructive element in the human mind is fear. Fear creates aggressiveness.
"Sam listen to your heat", Alyssa said knowing me better.
She knew i had these arguments between my brain and my heart. My brain is what always seems to win. I sat there thinking about everything. Thinking of Alex, thinking of his life my life. Our future.
"I love him, i love Alex."
"We know, so what are you going to do."
"Tell him."
I watched them all smile and scream. I clutched my head feeling the sharp pain in my head. They just laughed and mouthed sorry before then collapsed on my bed hugging me to death.
"We love you Sammy", they whispered cuddling into me.
"I love you guys too."
I laid there with my three best friends. I was scared, i was nervous, i was in love. Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. Love is what makes people live, its what people live for. Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live and I was ready to live.
Because,
Falling in love could be the first thing.
Falling in love could be the worst thing. There's no rehearsing.
Retarded in love.
"Good Morning sunshine."
"Fuck Alyssa, do you really have to scream."
"Someone is cranky and dealing with a hangover", she said sitting down on the bed.
"She's sex deprived", Jennifer said laying down next to me.
"No she's Alex deprived", Katelyn said putting her hand on my shoulder.
"Whatever guys."
"So what happen last night?"
I looked over at Katelyn and shrugged. She rolled her eyes and sighed loud.
"You werent that drunk when you walked off with Alex."
"Yeah I know, but i got wasted once i found out he's leaving on tour."
"Oh yeah, dont remind me", they all said looking down.
"I love it how were all the ALL TIME LOW groupie club", Alyssa said laughing.
"Ay at least were actually with the guys in the actually band and not their manager", Jen said smiling.
"Fuck you fugly pug face."
"Eat me."
"I'm not a lesbian hunny."
"Thats not what you said last night baby."
"Guys shut up".
I looked over at Katelyn and mouther thank you. She just smiled and nodded her head.
"So are you going to tell Alex?"
I looked over at Alyssa raising my eyebrows. I heard them all sigh.
"Tell him what?"
"Sam i love you and all but your a horrible liar and a lousy human being."
"Huh?"
"Jesus christ you love Alex, Alex loves you!"
I looked over at Jen who surprised me with the sudden outburst. Sounded more and more like Jack. I just shrugged and furred my eyebrows together.
"I dont know what your talking about."
"Sam seriously stop. Your in love with him. Always have been and always will be."
I just let it soak in. I know i love him its obvious. I love that boy with every fiber of my being. He was that guy that i could spend my life with. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes knowing he was going to leave and probably find someone better. Someone who wouldnt hurt him time after time. Someone better for him. But all i wanted to do, was be that girl. I was in love with Alexander William Gaskarth
"I love him."
I watched them give each other glances. It was like they were talking about me through mind control. I looked down at the bracelet that Alex mad me back in 9th grade. I wore it everyday. Little things like this, is what gets me. I looked around my room and everything reminded me of him. Not Mark, not Gavin not anyone. Its always been Alex. I was just too blind and too stupid to actually take a chance. Scared of what i might do to him, scared to what he might do to me. Heartache and rejection is what teenagers mostly fear.
"Sam."
I snapped out of my thoughts and took a look around at all the girls staring back at me with both a smile and yet a serious face.
"You have to tell him", Katelyn said patting my leg.
"I'm scared."
"What are you scared of?" Jen asked.
The question replaying in my head over and over again. What was i scared of? Was i scared of failing with him. If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down but the staying down. But was i really taking my own advice. Was i really listening to myself. If you don't risk anything, you risk even more. But was i really able to risk my heart? Was i ready to put my heart out like that. FEAR. Fear is a strong emotion that stops many people from doing great things. The most destructive element in the human mind is fear. Fear creates aggressiveness.
"Sam listen to your heat", Alyssa said knowing me better.
She knew i had these arguments between my brain and my heart. My brain is what always seems to win. I sat there thinking about everything. Thinking of Alex, thinking of his life my life. Our future.
"I love him, i love Alex."
"We know, so what are you going to do."
"Tell him."
I watched them all smile and scream. I clutched my head feeling the sharp pain in my head. They just laughed and mouthed sorry before then collapsed on my bed hugging me to death.
"We love you Sammy", they whispered cuddling into me.
"I love you guys too."
I laid there with my three best friends. I was scared, i was nervous, i was in love. Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. Love is what makes people live, its what people live for. Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live and I was ready to live.
Because,
Falling in love could be the first thing.
Falling in love could be the worst thing. There's no rehearsing.
Retarded in love.