Status: I'll be updating every Sunday!
How to Be a Princess
The Meeting Continues
Madame La Chairwoman waltzed back into the meeting room with an air of calm and serenity. Her eyes were glazed over and she seemed to glide instead of walk.
"Somewhat got to the coke." Jasmine commented and the other princesses could see that Madame had a bit of white powder under her nose. Madame coughed and quickly wiped her nose.
"Okay girls, pass in your papers and then we'll discuss and vote on how the new princess will turn out." She gathered all of the papers and shuffled through them for awhile before, setting them in a neat pile and standing up.
"Okay, so it seems like the majority of you want her to be white." Madame said slowly, cringing as she waited for the reactions of the non white princesses.
"No fucking way!" Tiana and Jasmine barked. "Why does she have to be white? We already have, like...6 white princesses already! Not to mention that stupid ass kid Sophia!" Jasmine argued
"Actually there are 7 of us!" Belle snapped from her spot in the corner. Everyone screamed and stared at her with wide eyes.
"The fuck? Where you here the whole time?" Aurora asked slowly
Belle stomped her foot angrily, "Yes I was! Why does everyone always forget me?" she whined and turned around to face the corner. Everyone else immediately dove back into the discussion and forgot about her once again.
Pocahontas glowered at the chairwoman and slammed her staff down onto the table. "I refuse to help if the princess is going to be white. She's just going to end up being dumb as hell anyway." she grumbled.
"Excuse me?" Ariel demanded, narrowing her eyes at her.
Mulan laughed and shrugged, "Well it's true," she insisted and pointed to Cinderella and Rapunzel, "You can use those two dumb fucks as a reference."
Before the long haired princess and the OCD princess could retaliate, Madame the Chairwoman banged on the table to require everyone's attention.
"Okay, okay fine. I understand that there are A LOT of white princesses, so let's not make the princess white, but we can't make her Asian, black or native American either, because I'm sure one of you will find fault in that too."
After a few minutes of grumbling everyone agreed to make the new princess a nationality that hadn't been used yet.
"How aboout Hispanic?" Merida asked
"African?" Tiana suggested
"Unicorn!" Cinderella suddenly shouted and Jasmine sneered at her.
"Can we get her euthanized please?" she drawled, receiving a few heated glares from the insulted princess and Snow White.
"Moving on, how about we make her mixed?" Belle stated and one again everyone jumped and questioned her presence.
"Mixed sounds like a great idea!" Madame la Chairwoman exclaimed "Maybe there's hope for you after all Rihanna..."
"What?"
"Nothing! So does everyone agree that the new princess should be mixed?" Madame asked and everyone nodded.
"Mixed with what though?" Merida asked
"Hmm...How about.." Mulan began after being silent for a quite awhile. (Ogling red haired Scots took a lot of concentration!) "How about we put her into different scenarios similar to our own stories. But make her brown. Cause you know white, plus yellow, plus brown equals...well a lighter brown."
Everyone was silent after that statement.
"Wow you've got a lot of heart. And I never truly realized until now...That you were actually smart." Ariel finally sang and Mulan clocked her.
"Damn," Tiana and Pocahontas commented as the mermaid went down almost instantly.
Madame just ignored the unconscious mermaid and went on with the discussion. "Alright. I like that idea. So we'll use it, no questions asked." she stated, slamming down her gavel.
"Now all we need is a name for he-
"No! I am not happy with any of this!" Mulan barked and Jasmine turned to stare at her.
"What the fuck are you talking about? It was your idea, you crazy Asian bitch!" she yelled back and Mulan lunged at her. Pocahontas stepped between the two and used her staff to separate them.
"What do you not like about the princess?" Madame sighed
"Why does she have to be a girl?" Mulan demanded "Why can't we make her a boy? Or or -
"A gender queer?" Merida suggested
Mulan turned to the red head and beamed, "Yes! Oh my goodness you are just so smart! Everything about you is glorious like the-
"Okay okay, scissor her later bitch." Tiana snapped "I need to get home, it's like 8:30 already! Do you realize how much work I've missed?" she grumbled and the other princesses nodded.
"I have to clean all of the corners of the castle," Cinderella sighed dreamily "So let's make her-I mean him-Oh this is hard already!" she groaned
"Alright. Fine. We will make the princess-prince...uh royal teenager androgynous." Madame said nodding.
Cinderella laughed and patted Madame on the head. "Oh silly commoner, we're making her/him gender queer not turning him/her into a robot!" she laughed and Madame briefly considered hitting the blonde with her gavel.
"Whatever. Anyway report here tomorrow so we can decide on a name."
"Somewhat got to the coke." Jasmine commented and the other princesses could see that Madame had a bit of white powder under her nose. Madame coughed and quickly wiped her nose.
"Okay girls, pass in your papers and then we'll discuss and vote on how the new princess will turn out." She gathered all of the papers and shuffled through them for awhile before, setting them in a neat pile and standing up.
"Okay, so it seems like the majority of you want her to be white." Madame said slowly, cringing as she waited for the reactions of the non white princesses.
"No fucking way!" Tiana and Jasmine barked. "Why does she have to be white? We already have, like...6 white princesses already! Not to mention that stupid ass kid Sophia!" Jasmine argued
"Actually there are 7 of us!" Belle snapped from her spot in the corner. Everyone screamed and stared at her with wide eyes.
"The fuck? Where you here the whole time?" Aurora asked slowly
Belle stomped her foot angrily, "Yes I was! Why does everyone always forget me?" she whined and turned around to face the corner. Everyone else immediately dove back into the discussion and forgot about her once again.
Pocahontas glowered at the chairwoman and slammed her staff down onto the table. "I refuse to help if the princess is going to be white. She's just going to end up being dumb as hell anyway." she grumbled.
"Excuse me?" Ariel demanded, narrowing her eyes at her.
Mulan laughed and shrugged, "Well it's true," she insisted and pointed to Cinderella and Rapunzel, "You can use those two dumb fucks as a reference."
Before the long haired princess and the OCD princess could retaliate, Madame the Chairwoman banged on the table to require everyone's attention.
"Okay, okay fine. I understand that there are A LOT of white princesses, so let's not make the princess white, but we can't make her Asian, black or native American either, because I'm sure one of you will find fault in that too."
After a few minutes of grumbling everyone agreed to make the new princess a nationality that hadn't been used yet.
"How aboout Hispanic?" Merida asked
"African?" Tiana suggested
"Unicorn!" Cinderella suddenly shouted and Jasmine sneered at her.
"Can we get her euthanized please?" she drawled, receiving a few heated glares from the insulted princess and Snow White.
"Moving on, how about we make her mixed?" Belle stated and one again everyone jumped and questioned her presence.
"Mixed sounds like a great idea!" Madame la Chairwoman exclaimed "Maybe there's hope for you after all Rihanna..."
"What?"
"Nothing! So does everyone agree that the new princess should be mixed?" Madame asked and everyone nodded.
"Mixed with what though?" Merida asked
"Hmm...How about.." Mulan began after being silent for a quite awhile. (Ogling red haired Scots took a lot of concentration!) "How about we put her into different scenarios similar to our own stories. But make her brown. Cause you know white, plus yellow, plus brown equals...well a lighter brown."
Everyone was silent after that statement.
"Wow you've got a lot of heart. And I never truly realized until now...That you were actually smart." Ariel finally sang and Mulan clocked her.
"Damn," Tiana and Pocahontas commented as the mermaid went down almost instantly.
Madame just ignored the unconscious mermaid and went on with the discussion. "Alright. I like that idea. So we'll use it, no questions asked." she stated, slamming down her gavel.
"Now all we need is a name for he-
"No! I am not happy with any of this!" Mulan barked and Jasmine turned to stare at her.
"What the fuck are you talking about? It was your idea, you crazy Asian bitch!" she yelled back and Mulan lunged at her. Pocahontas stepped between the two and used her staff to separate them.
"What do you not like about the princess?" Madame sighed
"Why does she have to be a girl?" Mulan demanded "Why can't we make her a boy? Or or -
"A gender queer?" Merida suggested
Mulan turned to the red head and beamed, "Yes! Oh my goodness you are just so smart! Everything about you is glorious like the-
"Okay okay, scissor her later bitch." Tiana snapped "I need to get home, it's like 8:30 already! Do you realize how much work I've missed?" she grumbled and the other princesses nodded.
"I have to clean all of the corners of the castle," Cinderella sighed dreamily "So let's make her-I mean him-Oh this is hard already!" she groaned
"Alright. Fine. We will make the princess-prince...uh royal teenager androgynous." Madame said nodding.
Cinderella laughed and patted Madame on the head. "Oh silly commoner, we're making her/him gender queer not turning him/her into a robot!" she laughed and Madame briefly considered hitting the blonde with her gavel.
"Whatever. Anyway report here tomorrow so we can decide on a name."