Bittersweet Memories

Caroline and I sat at her kitchen table, drinking coffee, and trying to piece together where all our bloodlines come from. Not that I'm in on this plot to kill Klaus and his family, but I'd still like to know in case my bloodline somehow does come from him. If I happen to be the only one, I wonder if my friends will spare my life or not.

"You're not still mad at me, are you?" I look over at Caroline. Although we're working together right now, we haven't said much to each other. I'm sure my little betrayal has something to do with it. "Look, I did what I did for a reason. Until yesterday, I was the only one who knew the consequences of killing an Original. I was just trying to protect us all."

"You're an idiot." Caroline finally spoke. "I'm not even mad about that. Though I know you were protecting Klaus, I also know you were protecting us as well."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Rebekah!" Caroline raised her voice. "You totally agreed with her on the '20s decade dance and sided against me!"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes and smirk a bit at her. "Of all the things we're dealing with right now, your main concern is the decade dance?"

"And you taking Rebekah's side!" She added with a little grin. "I'm just saying, my idea was way better."

"Care Bare, you're ridiculous." I laughed, shaking my head at her. "Whatever, though. I'll take it. As long as your not mad about the whole Klaus thing."

"By the way.." She perked up immediately, instantly forgetting about the decade dance drama. "How was Tahiti?"

"It was amazing." I smiled. "It's so beautiful there, I had a lot of fun."

"And Klaus?" She leaned in closer and lowered her voice, despite us being the only ones in the house. "Any hot hybrid/vampire sex you'd like to dish on?"

"Oh, there was definitely a lot of that going on." I smirked. "I think I'm slowly starting to fall for him."

"Oh! Come on, Savannah. Spill!"

Before I could start to explain, Bonnie barged in the house and headed straight towards us. "Sorry I'm late guys, what are we talking about?"

"Oh, Savannah was just about to tell us about how much she loves Klaus." Caroline grinned from ear to ear as Bonnie took a seat.

"Ew, Savannah. I just ate breakfast." Bonnie laughed

"Oh come on, Bon. It's not like Klaus isn't attractive." Caroline said. "Just ignore the fact that he's a murderous psychopath."

Although this was getting a bit awkward, it was kinda laughable. "Okay, when we were like twelve years old, did either of you think we'd be talking about liking murderous psychopaths?"

"Sweetie, the only one here liking murderous psychopaths is you." Bonnie laughed. "Now come on, give us the deets. Tell us how much you loooooove him."

"First of all, I do not love him." I started. "He just...I can't explain it okay! He's got this hold on me, I'm just drawn to him. I just feel...different when I'm with him. I feel wanted..."

"Oh my god!" The two of them said in unison. "Look at her face!"

"Okay that's enough." I stopped them. "Can we please talk about the issue at hand? The issue that effects mine and Caroline's lives?"

"Fine. We'll start with you." Bonnie said. "You were sired by Damon, who was sired by Katherine."

"Katherine was sired by Rose." Caroline added.

"Then there's you." I started. "That unknown vampire who turned you. He was ordered by Katherine to turn you, I have no doubt she turned him."

"That leaves us in the same boat." Caroline smiled. "If I have to die, at least I'm not dying alone."

"Neither one of you are dying, so shut up." Bonnie interrupted. "So, anybody have any idea who turned Rose?"

"No."

"Not a clue." I added before pulling out my phone, already regretting what I was about to do. I scrolled down in my contacts until I reached the name I was looking for. I braced myself as the phone began to ring. Finally, it was answered. "Hello, Damon."

Bonnie and Caroline's faces went into shock and I turned away, ignoring them as I listened to Damon's bitching. "What could you possibly want? You...I don't even know what to say to you right now!"

"Really?" I asked. "What are you more mad about? The fact that I deceived you into believing I was done with Klaus? Or the fact that I watched Rebekah drain all the vervain out of your body in the most torturous way possible?"

"Is there something I can help you with, Savannah?"

"Believe it or not, I need your help."

I heard Damon smirk on the other end and I could just picture his smug face. "You need help from me? Hate to break it to you, but I'm not in the giving mood."

"Trust me, you are the last person I want help from. But you're the only person." I started. "You and I, we're in the same boat. I don't know about you, but I'd like to know where my fate lies. Since you turned me, we come from the same bloodline."

"And?" I could hear him getting bored on the other end.

"And I've been trying to figure it out but hit a road block. Rose. Who turned Rose?"

"How the hell should I know?"

"Well, you were pretty friendly with her from what I can remember." I spat.

"Listen, I don't know who turned Rose, okay?" Damon sighed.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Get to work, find out."

"Fine, I'll do it. But just so you know, I don't care if our bloodline comes from Klaus or not, I'm still killing him. Sorry if you end up being collateral damage."

"Just find out!" I yelled into the phone before hanging up. I tossed it onto the counter and picked up my coffee mug.

"Do you think he'll really try to kill Klaus even if he finds out he comes from his bloodline?" Bonnie asked.

"That's the thing, you never know with Damon." I rolled my eyes. "If our bloodline traces back to Kol, Rebekah, or Elijah...they will try to kill Klaus."

"Would you hate us if we helped?" Bonnie asked, testing the waters a bit.

"I would understand why, I'd be angry but I wouldn't hate you." I said. "But, if Klaus dies, Tyler dies with him."

"Tyler." Caroline breathed out and looked at us with pleading eyes. "Klaus sired Tyler! Why didn't this cross my mind before?! What do we do now?!"

"I can't guarantee Stefan and Damon will spare Tyler's life. So, let's just hope we all come from Klaus' bloodline." I said.

I only stayed a while longer. I wasn't sure what Klaus was doing today, but I knew what I was doing. I'm finally going to face my mother, whether she's ready to deal with me or not. Too much is going on and I can't guarantee that I have all the time in the world to see her. I need to see her and the two of us need to talk about what I did before its too late.

I said goodbye to the girls and headed out. When I shut the door behind me, I was face to face with Tyler Lockwood. All I could do was stare at him, I haven't seen him in so long. He wasn't in town when I got back, but Caroline said he had a really hard time dealing with my 'death'.

"Tyler.."

He stared at me, like he was looking for the right words to say. What could he say to me? After lying and running off with Klaus of all people, he must really hate me now. "Wow."

"Wow? Well, that's one way to put it." I tried breaking the ice. "Listen, Tyler, I understand completely if you hate me. If I was you, I'd hate me."

Tyler laughed. "After Caroline told me everything, I did hate you. Then I got over it, the two of us have been through way too much for me to hate you now."

"But, Klaus-"

"I don't care about whatever you have going on with Klaus. I'll admit, it hurt that you ran off with him of all people after he sired me. But, I like to believe our relationship can withstand anything life throws at it." Tyler said. "I wouldn't be who I am if it wasn't for you."

"Are you sure, Ty?" I asked, not believing the words out of his mouth. If not Caroline, I was sure Tyler would be the one most upset about this.

"Just don't get mad if I decide to kill him one day." Tyler laughed. "You forgave me for treating you like shit and cheating on you. You were there for me when I found out about the werewolf gene and refused to tell Damon about it. You even helped me get through my first full moon, I will never turn my back on you, Savannah."

I threw my arms around his neck and gave him a hug. "I love you, Tyler."

"I love you too, Sav" He said, hugging me tighter. "I'm glad you're not dead, I missed you so much. Don't you EVER do that again! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to see my girl."

I pulled away from him. "You better get in there, I can hear her pacing on the other side of the door."

The front door swung open quickly to reveal Caroline glaring at me. "Hey! I was not pacing!"

"See you guys later!" I gave Caroline a smile. I was excited for her to have Tyler back, I knew how much she missed him.



So, here it goes. I stood at my mothers door, waiting to knock on it. This isn't the first time I found myself in this position since I got back, nervously waiting to face the person on the other side. After this meeting with my mother, I shouldn't have to do this again. Hopefully she forgives me, no matter how hard it is. This can go two ways: She either accepts and forgives me, or she hates me.

I decided I wasted enough time standing here so I just knocked, preparing myself for the worst. I heard a few footsteps inside and got nervous all over again as I heard them approaching the door. The door opened and revealed my mother. She looked a lot different from the last time I saw her. Tired. She looked very tired. But I expect that's how most mothers look after their child dies before they do. What's that saying? 'You're not supposed to bury your children, they're supposed to bury you.'

"I was wondering when you'd finally show up at my door." She spoke first.

"Can we talk? I think it's time we did."

Mom moved aside so I could walk in. It was an awkward short walk to the living room. She sat on the couch and I sat opposite of her, leaving enough space as possible between us. We remained silent, not saying a word. I wanted to just spill my guts, but I suddenly lost my nerve.

"I'll start." Mom spoke. "I wasn't sure what to think when your father showed up weeks ago, claiming you were still alive and had faked your death. I thought for some reason, he must be playing a sick joke on me. Then your brother and sister confirmed what he was saying. Justin, he took the news much better than Rachel. He was happy that you were back, he seemed to forget what you had done to us. Rachel though, she was very angry and I can see why. I'm angry myself."

"I don't blame you." I said quietly, my eyes glued to the floor. I felt like I was ten years old again, being scolded for wearing my mothers expensive necklace to school without permission.

"We all thought you died, Savannah. I thought you were gone forever. I was distraught and in denial for the past three months. I wouldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I took a leave of absence from work. I never left the house, I'd never see my friends. I felt like I lost all meaning, all purpose. I'd often question how I was supposed to go on with life after losing my daughter. How was I supposed to care for Justin and Rachel when I lost all motivation to get up in the morning?

"When a mother loses her child, no matter how old they are, it's the most devastating feeling in the world. I can't begin to describe the physical pain it causes, it's the type of pain I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. How was I supposed to go on with my life knowing my daughter is gone forever? Knowing I would never get the chance to see my first-born graduate high school, never get to see her in a wedding dress, have children, and do something great with her life."

I sat there in silence and let the tears fall down my face. This hurt a lot worse than having to tell my father. A mother losing her child is something nobody will understand unless they've been through it themselves. The fact that I selfishly made my mother endure that pain is eating me up inside. I wish there was a way I could take away all the pain she felt and feel it myself, but I can't. I will truly never know the pain I put her through.

"I know I owe you a huge explanation." I told her, finally making eye contact.

"I'm not finished, Savannah." Mom said, giving me that look she used to give me when I was in huge trouble. Putting the situation we're in aside, it kind of felt nice in a weird sort of way. "It took three months. Then when I was finally coming to terms with what happened, when I was finally realizing this was real and there was nothing I could do to bring you back, your father shows up. When he showed up and told me it was all a lie, I started to hurt all over again. Only this time I wasn't mourning your death. I was trying to figure out why the fuck my daughter would EVER put me through something this horrible? So I'm gonna ask you, Savannah, what the hell were you thinking?!"

"That's the thing, mom." I started, it was finally my turn to speak. "I wasn't thinking. Nothing I tell you will ease the pain you felt. Unfortunately, I didn't realize this until it was too late, but I was being just down right selfish. I wasn't thinking about hurting you or the family, I wasn't thinking about my friends. I was thinking of one person: Damon."

"You faked your death because of Damon Salvatore? You let your family and friends believe you were dead because of him? But why?"

I take it dad didn't tell her the whole story, dammit. Each time I have to tell the story, I relive the pain all over again. But I deserve this, this is my fault. I went on to tell my mother the whole story of mine and Damon's relationship, from beginning to end. I didn't leave out any details, I started from the day we met, up until faking my death and leaving. "I should of listened to you. You didn't like Damon from the beginning, there had to of been a reason why."

"Mother knows best." Mom said. "I just don't believe what happened between you and Elena. The two of you have been best friends since before you were potty trained."

"People change, mom. Obviously our friendship wasn't that strong if a guy came between us." I said. "I will never know the pain I put you through, I wish I could take it back. I'm so sorry this whole thing happened. I wish I would of realized the consequences, things would be different."

"We can't go back, Savannah. You can only learn from your mistakes. Whats done is done, you can't change the past." Mom said. "The good news is, you're still alive."

"Will you ever forgive me?"

"Of course I will, though it's going to take some time." She said. "I had to get used to having a vampire for a daughter, then had to get used to having a dead daughter. I'm sure I can get used to having you back, among the living."

I gave her a smile. "I should go, let you process this whole mess."

She stood up to walk me to the door. I could sense she was a bit hesitant but she gave me a hug anyway. I smiled brightly and returned it. "I'll give you a call soon, okay?"

I nodded my head and left. As I was getting in my car, I received a text from Damon. I almost forgot about the fact I might die soon, for real this time. It looks like Damon actually came through. The message was brief and only had a name: Mary Porter.