Bittersweet Memories

I took a deep breath, breathing in the crisp October air as I walked in the night. I didn't think I'd miss this place or any of the people in it. But, I did. It felt really good to be back in Mystic Falls. Truth is, I have too much history here, I'm connected to this place, and I will be for quite some time.

Whether its memories with my old friends, the amazing times I had with my family, or Damon. This place will always be apart of me. I missed my family dearly. More than anything, I just wanted to show up at their doorstep and tell them I'm okay, but I couldn't. Nobody can know I'm here, at least until the time is right.

At three o'clock in the morning, the town is completely dead. Not a soul on the street, aside from myself, of course. I walked past the Mystic Grill and pictured my former self sitting in there, laughing and joking with my friends, shooting pool with Tyler and Matt. I really missed it all. I made my way around town, looking at all my old favorite hang outs.

I wondered about Rachel, did any of these places become her favorite hangouts? How did she take my death? How was she adjusting to life without her older sister? It was completely selfish of me to abandon her like that, I now know I should of thought about her before I made this decision. My mind floated to Justin. Did he make the football team this year? Was he being respectful to girls? Did he have a girlfriend?

I thought about my parents and Amy, did her and dad finally get engaged? I hope my mother is well and she's found somebody to spend her life with, I don't want her to be sad and bitter anymore. I miss them all so much and it kills me to think my selfishness has brought so much pain into their lives.

I found myself standing in front of my fathers house. I wanted to go and ring the doorbell so bad but I stopped myself. I listened for voices in the night and heard two familiar voices coming from the upstairs bedroom, my old bedroom.

"What are you doing in here?" I heard Justin's voice, I should of ran right there and then. I had business hearing any of their private conversations.

"I made the cheerleading squad today, I'd give anything to be able to tell her. Caroline said I remind her so much of Savannah. I miss her so much." The sound of Rachel's vulnerable whispers nearly broke me in two. My feet were stuck to the ground, I couldn't move.

"I miss her, too." Justin spoke again, his voice seemed to be changing. I was supposed to be picking on him through his awkward stages of puberty. "I think about Savannah all the time, but you've got to stop coming in her room. You're only hurting yourself."

"I know, it's just...I need her and she's not here."

"She's watching you, ya know. She's watching all of us. She may not be here, but she's here in spirit, watching out for us. Come on, you should get some sleep."

I heard the two of them leave my room and and the light turn off. I stood there for another ten minutes, looking off into the darkness. Completely broken. I felt the lump in my throat forming and this wasn't something I could turn my emotions off for. I wasn't that strong, not when it came to them.

When I arrived 'home', I slammed the door shut and ran off into my bedroom. I slammed my head into my pillow and began to silently sob. Ashamed, I grabbed the blanket and pushed it up above my head. There was no use in trying to stop the tears, it wouldn't work. I was more worried about hushing my sobs, not wanting to be too loud. My brother and sister are hurting and it's all because of me, all because of this stupid lie. Apparently my father hasn't touched my room at all, a sign that he's probably in denial. This is all my fault, I might as well really be dead.

"What's wrong, lovely?" I heard Klaus' voice just meters way from me, I didn't even hear him come in. I ignored him though, he doesn't care, so why bother pretending? I couldn't believe I let him talk me into this whole mess, I partly blame him for this. "Savannah?"

"Kill me." I mumbled, knowing he would hear it clearly anyway

"What?" He asked as lifted the blanket from my head

"I said kill me, Nik. Just do it."

"What happened?"

"WHY DO YOU CARE?!" I snapped at him as I sat up, he made himself comfortable next to me.

He brushed the tear soaked hair sticking to me out of my face and gave me a sympathetic smile. Was he being genuine? I couldn't even tell at this moment. "Savannah, what's wrong?"

"I deserve to die. My family is hurting because they think I'm dead. I can't bare to see the pain I've put them through, I'd rather be dead than alive as they go on believing otherwise."

Klaus did something completely unexpected, he pulled me close and wrapped me in his arms. It honestly confused the hell out of me, but I just went for it. For once, he was the shoulder to cry on, more like the only shoulder. My sobs became more vocal as he lightly rubbed my back as a comfort. I cried for hours and he stayed right by my side the whole time. He wasn't distracted by anything else, he didn't go off talking about himself, he just stayed silent and rubbed my back.

The tears stopped falling and I became emotionally drained and tired. I let out a little groan as the morning sun crept through the curtains. "Why don't you get some sleep? We can talk more about this later if you want."

I went to ask if he was serious about the talking thing but he cut me off with a peck to my lips. He got up and tucked me in. He shut the door behind him as he left and I just stared at it. What the hell is going on? That was a side of Klaus I never saw and never thought I'd ever see. I'm just so confused about everything and I really wish I had someone to talk to. I couldn't stay away any longer and sleep soon overtook me.