‹ Prequel: Love Bites

Bittersweet Memories

I Am Short On Words Knowing What's Occurred

"You cannot be serious." Rachel said when we finally stood face to face with each other, the first time since I told the family about my deception. "What do you want? What are you doing here?"

I took a little step closer to test the waters, she didn't move away. She stood her ground, like the strong young woman I knew she'd be. I took a breath before I started explaining myself. "What I want is for you to forgive me. I'm here because I need your forgiveness and I'd like to finish school with my friends."

"Look, Savannah. Just because everyone has decided to forgive you, doesn't mean its gonna work that easily with me." She shouted before lowering her voice. "You're supposed to be dead. Was there even a body in the casket we buried and then cried over?"

"Take a walk with me, please." I nearly begged her, staring at her with hopeful eyes until she agreed. I looked back at Caroline to inform her I'd miss practice. She gave me a nod before glaring over at Rebekah. "I know everyone has forgiven me, but that doesn't mean they still aren't pissed. I also don't expect you to be so forgiving either."

"Then why are you even bothering?" Rachel crossed her arms over her chest as we took a seat on the bleachers.

"Because you're my little sister and I love you dearly. All this forgiveness and acceptance from everyone else means nothing to me if my family hates me. I might as well really be dead. That's how I feel inside, dead. Because you hate me."

"How do you expect me to feel, Savannah? You completely fucked me over!" Rachel yelled. "By the way, you're dead regardless. But I catch what you're saying."

A small smirk formed at the corner of my mouth, at least she had it in her to crack a joke. I went on to tell her the whole story, from the beginning. I told her about Elena and Damon, about the heartbreak. I told her about Klaus and the stupid choice I made to run away with him. I even told her something I never told anyone else. "That night at school, when the junior class was becoming seniors, we did prank night."

"I remember. You said you didn't want to go, but Caroline forced you."

"Uh huh." I nodded. "As horrible as this sounds, when Klaus was dragging Elena into the gym by her arm, I didn't feel anything for her. I didn't care what he did with her, honestly. All I could think about was how attractive Klaus was. Even when we were sitting on the bleachers and he was trying to get under my skin, all I could think about was his attractive face and alluring voice."

"I don't think it's horrible. Elena screwed you over. Why should you care about what happens to her? She clearly didn't care about your feelings. She's a shit friend." Rachel said. "But didn't Klaus try to kill you once? When he was in Mr. Saltzman's body?"

"Water under the bridge." I laughed. "But that's basically it. Anything else you want to know?"

"If Klaus didn't have to come back to Mystic Falls? Would you have? Did you plan on coming back to tell the truth or would you of let us believe you're dead forever?"

"I thought about coming back to you guys everyday I was gone. If Klaus hadn't come back, I would of. Eventually.." I said. "So what now?"

"I know dad, Justin, and Amy forgave you so quickly. I'm sorry that I can't do the same."

"I didn't expect you to, Rachel. I didn't expect them to, either. I know it'll take time."

"It'll take a lot of time, but I'm sure I can forgive you. Eventually."

"Eventually works for me."

I glanced down at my phone and it was almost 6PM, we stayed well after school hours, the sun had already set. "I have to get going, I told some friends I'd meet them at the grill."

"You go ahead." I nodded. She didn't hug me goodbye, which I didn't expect anyway. After she left, I headed home as well. I walked through the front door and set my bag down in the foyer. Once I got to the sitting room, I saw Klaus, Kol, and Elijah sitting around. Finn was hardly ever around, always up Esther's ass, I found that a little annoying.

Rebekah wasn't in sight either, so who know where she was off to. Kol and Klaus were watching TV and bickering at each other. The two of them seem to argue the most out of all of them. Kol can be very cocky at times, I know Klaus hates it. Elijah was sitting down and reading a very old book. He glanced up at me and gave me a smile before turning his attention back to reading.

"That's one thing I love about the 21st Century, short shorts." Kol said as he eyed me up and down. "I can get used to this!"

Klaus looked over at Kol and glared. "Would you like to find yourself back in that box until you learn some manners? You know I'll do it!"

"You wouldn't dare."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Brothers." Elijah spoke up. "Stop fighting, we're family. Klaus isn't daggering anybody but he is right. Don't ever speak of Savannah that way again, Kol."

I felt my cheeks get hot as I glanced over at Elijah. He wasn't paying attention to me or his brothers, still with his nose in his book. I looked over at Klaus, who was looking over at Elijah as well. I felt the need to break the tension in the room. "So, how was brother bonding time?"

"We played pool. He cheated. 'Nuff said, love." Klaus stated. "Rebekah said you had a family reunion, how was it?"

"It was hopeful." I sent Klaus a smile. "I'm gonna go shower, I gotta meet Stefan soon."

"WHAT!"

Klaus followed closely behind me as I made my way up the stairs. I turned the hot water on and began to take my clothes off as he barged in the bathroom. "Can I help you with something, Nik?"

"Why are you meeting Stefan Salvatore?"

"To work on a history project, what's it to you?" I laughed, it was funny how jealous he was getting.

"You can't meet him to work on some stupid history project! No, you're not going."

"You're crazy."

"Do you fancy him?"

I couldn't help but laugh right in his face. Sure, I knew Klaus was possessive of things that were his (which I am not), but I've never seen him get so jealous before. "Nik, you need more things to fill out your day. Of course I don't like him in that way. Even if I did, why should you care?"

"Savannah." Klaus stared me down like I was somehow supposed to know why he was reacting this way.

"Look, Stefan and I were friends before this whole mess happened and we will continue to be friends, whether you like it or not."

"And you're sure you don't fancy him?"

"Well, if you like me or something, feel free to speak up. You can't be possessive of something that isn't yours, Nik. For the second time, no, I don't like him." I reassured Klaus and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Now get out so I can shower!"

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I walked up the stone pathway to the Salvatore Boarding House. It feels like a lifetime since I've been here. Part of me hoped Damon wouldn't be here, but the other part of me hoped he would so I could torture him with just my mere presence. I came over here to piss off Elena, I might as well piss off Damon, too. But I actually did come over to work on the assignment, I wanted to try my hardest in school this year and not compel my way to graduation.

I rang the doorbell and patiently waited for Stefan to answer. It wasn't very appropriate to just walk in on my own free will anymore. Within no time, Stefan was standing in the doorway and inviting me inside.

"Just a warning, Damon's here." Stefan said as he led me into the living room where we could work on our history project. I just shrugged my shoulders at him and took a seat on the couch. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"I'm very thirsty." I told him. "Bring in some vodka while you're at it."

"You got it."

While Stefan went to get me blood and drinks, I took the time to make myself comfortable. I kicked my shoes off and sat on my legs. Stefan returned with glasses of blood and a bottle of vodka. "It's been a while." I said, quickly taking a glass out of his hand and drinking. Once the taste hit my tongue, I started to choke. I quickly wiped my mouth and glared him. "Stefan, what the hell is this?"

"That's the finest deer blood you can get in Mystic Falls! Don't knock it."

"I take it you're not drinking human blood anymore?"

"Trying to kick the stuff."

I nodded my head, I understood why he'd rather drink animal blood, he's a good person. "Okay, I'll try it. Although, I prefer my blood straight from the vein of a vain douchebag, it'll do."

"So what are we doing our project on?" Stefan asked, changing the subject.

"Hm, what was your favorite decade?"

"The 50s."

"And why?"

Stefan grinned. "Oh come on! The music! Rock 'n' Roll!"

Instead of getting out history books or using the internet, Stefan began to tell me all about the time he spent in the 50s. I actually enjoyed hearing all his stories about the decade and even wrote a few things down. We were more hanging out than working on our project, we sat on the floor drinking by the fire while Stefan told me about the numerous concerts he went to during that time period.

"Well, well, what do we have here, brother?" It was only a matter of time before Damon would come in to interrupt us. I was actually surprised he held out as long as he did. "Doesn't this look cozy, and here I thought you were a better man than I am."

"I am a better man than you are, Damon." Stefan replied with a slight laugh. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, this. You have a nice, cozy fire lit, drinking alcohol, telling cute little stories-"

"What are you getting at, Damon?" Stefan crossed his arms over his chest.

"I understand if you want to get back at me-"

"Like I said, brother. I am a better man than you. I know a little something about loyalty, whereas you don't." Stefan said as we got up from the floor. "Nothings going on."

"Are you sure about that, Stefan?" Damon challenged him.

"I left with Klaus to save your life and how do you repay me? You go off and fall in love with Elena. But still, even after that, I still wouldn't do that, because I know how much it would hurt you."

"This is getting awkward, I'm gonna get going home." I said. "Thanks, Stefan."

I grabbed my bag and headed towards the front door. Seeing Damon pissed off at the mere thought of me and Stefan together was enough for me. No need to rehash bad memories. My hand hit the doorknob and I was quickly grabbed and taken upstairs. Dammit, Damon!

"We didn't get a chance to finish that talk." Damon said, sure to shut his bedroom door.

"I thought I made it clear that I have nothing at all to say to you." I spat at him. "It's pretty clear that you did fall in love with Elena while I was still in the picture, what else is there to talk about?"

"You never let me explain, Savannah. Not then and not when you got back, I want you to know the truth."

"Don't give me your shit, Damon Salvatore. I know the truth." I stood up from the bed, now shouting at him. "You followed Stefan to Mystic Falls, you thought Elena was Katherine. You saw you were wrong and that your brother got there first. You knew Elena was a good girl and would never fall for any of your tricks. Cue the best friend walking in, Ah she's not Katherine or Elena but she will do!"

"Savannah-"

"Oh, my name is Damon and I have a brilliant idea! I'm gonna go get my blood deprived ex-girlfriend out of a tomb I believe she's been stuck in for 100 years. But in the meantime, I'm gonna screw around with this pathetic human girl because she likes me. I'll just get rid of her when I find my deer sweet Katherine.

"Savannah, please stop!" Damon said but I refused. My voice getting higher and my blood boiling as I went on with my story.

"Oh, guess Katherine was a lying bitch after all! Since Elena's taken by my brother, I guess I'll just take her best friend. She already likes me so this should be easy. I'll just play along and make her believe I love her as I wait and wait for Elena. Oh! Looks like I'm dying and my brother is going to save my life, yes! I finally have Elena all to myself!"

"You're wrong."

"Let's forget all about my girlfriend and make everything about Elena." I stopped shouting and my voice got softer. "I'll pretend to help her find my brother just so I can keep myself close to her. She's vulnerable and alone, of course she'll want me. I'll turn my girlfriend into a vampire and then leave her alone, making her miserable and depressed for the rest of her life.

"I'll fall in love with Elena and push my girlfriend further and further into depression until she breaks up with me. Then she'll feel so alone in this world now that she's lost me and her best friend. She'll go to somebody and beg them to end her suffering. It's only when I think she's dead, I'll realize I made a huge mistake."

I looked up at Damon and his eyes were glued to the floor, his jaw and fists clenched tight. Something he only did when he was upset. Good, he should be upset.

"I never meant to hurt you."

"But you did anyway. After you hurt me the first time, you promised to never hurt me again. But you did, Damon."

"I know..."

"I did everything for you Damon. I defended you countless times when all my friends said you were bad news. I found out what you were and gave you a chance anyway. I forgave you for all the killings you did, I nearly ruined my friendship with Caroline. I watched you walk into a tomb with intentions of getting Katherine back, then I pleaded with Bonnie's grandmother to break the spell so you could get out, even though you didn't want me! I then ran down there to make sure you got out!

"I was there Damon, I was there for you through it all. All the shit Katherine put you through, how broken you were because of it! I was there with you every step of the way and I didn't once deny you. Fucking hell, Damon! I let you feed on me. I ran into a house full of crazy vampires who were hell bent on killing founding family members. I fought with Bonnie, Katherine almost killed me and I became a vampire, all for you."

"You wanted to be a vampire! You asked me to turn you!" Damon yelled

"Because I loved you, idiot! I believed you loved me too, you told me you wanted me forever! I BELIEVED YOU!" I screamed. "Becoming a vampire was the biggest mistake I ever made and I made that mistake because of you. I did everything for you, Damon! Only for you to prove time and time again that I was always second in your life! You want to talk about how broken you are because I faked my death? How depressed you are? SAVE IT! Because it would never compare to all the shit you put me through!"

I headed towards the door but Damon quickly stood in my way, preventing me from going anywhere. "I've done some things I regret and I've made plenty mistakes. I'm not perfect, I can admit that. I even hurt you after I said I wouldn't. But I never made you believe I was dead. I didn't rip your heart out with my bare hands like you did to me. Did you ever lie in bed all day because you thought your only reason for living was gone? I might've done some things, but you're no saint either, sweetheart."

I slapped him in his face. Hard. Then I got even more angry and slapped him again. "You're wrong if you think you didn't rip my heart out with everything you put me through. You might of thought I was dead, but I felt dead, so it was all the same to me. I gave you my life, Damon. I gave up my mortal life for you and this is what I get. Fuck you if you can't see all the heartbreak you caused me, you selfish bastard."

I left, for real this time. I got all the way out of the house and ran to my car. Coming here was definitely a mistake. That stupid talk we had did nothing, it just opened up old wounds. Once I got far enough down the road, I pressed my forehead against the steering wheel and started to sob. That conversation was more painful then I'd like to admit, but what can I say? I once thought the two of us were soul mates, oh, how wrong I was.