My One and Only

At roughly five-in-the-morning, Nicole found herself crawling out of bed before sprinting to the loo. Like most mornings, she felt sick and ready to puke-up everything she’d eaten the previous day. So far, she hadn’t found any perks to being pregnant. Her whole body ached, and she was constantly queasy. Food made her nauseous, but she was always hungry, so that made things especially miserable.

Around 6AM, she started to hear shouting coming from the front of the flat. She assumed it was the telly, figuring Harry or Louis couldn’t sleep and had decided to occupy their self with a rerun of the Jeremy Kyle show. After her stomach settled, she crept out of the bathroom and down the corridor, hoping Harry was the one awake; cuddling up to him as she fell asleep to the sound of trashy T.V. didn’t sound half bad…

At first, she thought her eyes were playing tricks on her when she spotted Niall arguing with Harry in the front doorway. Niall used the doorframe to support his weight as he struggled to hold himself up, and Harry looked about ready yank out each of his curls.

“Go home, Niall.” Harry whispered harshly, trying to push the blonde lad out of the flat. Niall merely shook his head before stepping around Harry and further inside. Nicole observed the pair quietly for a few seconds, listening to them curse at each other. Eventually, she decided to step in, figuring nothing good could come of their argument.

“What’s going on here?” Nicole asked, stepping out from the shadows. Both heads turned towards her sharply, before Niall skipped across the room, looping his arms around her neck.

“Nicole,” he said happily as she struggled to gain her balance, his added weight throwing her off. She tried to push him away, his warm, alcohol-coated breath forcing her to crinkle her nose. “I’m so happy to see you.”

“Niall,” she seethed, pressing her palms to his chest. “Niall, please, let go. You’re drunk.”

Finally she mustered up enough strength to push him away, and he stumbled backwards, almost falling to the floor. He looked at her with a sad expression across his face, his blue eyes full of hurt.

“I think you should leave-” Harry spoke, but Nicole gave him a stern look, willing him to be quiet. She focused her gaze on Niall, pleading him to behave and stop acting so obnoxious.

“What are you doing here?” she asked finally, crossing her arms over her chest, shielding herself from him.

“Sage said you’d be here.” Nicole bit her lip, unable to believe he had the nerve to mention her. After everything that had happened, hearing him say her name still stung like a fresh wound.

“That doesn’t explain anything.”

“Can we talk? I just want to explain myself.”

“I’m not sure I want to hear your explanation, Niall. I’m not sure I can handle it.” He reached towards her, but she pulled away, taking a step backwards.

“Please, please just give me five minutes.” Her eyes darted to Harry as she searched his expression to figure out what to do. She had no idea if she could emotionally handle hearing whatever Niall had to say, but when Harry merely shrugged his shoulders; she turned back to the blonde lad and slowly nodded her head.

“Fine,” she replied quietly before looking at Harry. “Can you give us a minute?”

“Sure,” he muttered, obviously irritated before storming out of the room. Slowly, Nicole turned her gaze to Niall as she waited for him to explain himself.

“I’m so very sorry, Nick, really I am.” Nicole chewed on her bottom lip until she tasted blood, already tears were beginning to form in her eyes. “I never meant to hurt you; it was all a huge mistake.”

“Cut to the chase, Niall.” She demanded, almost unable to speak. He sucked in a sharp breath before continuing.

“It all started that night in New Zealand, when we got really pissed. We were both way past our limit, and weren’t thinking straight, it was all a horrible mistake.” Nicole started to feel the warm tears streaming down her face. She’d had her theories about what had happened that night, but hearing Niall say it out loud hurt Nicole far worse than she’d expected. “I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to upset you, and before I had the chance to talk to Sage about it, you both left!”

“So, you’re blaming me?”

“Well, no, but—let me finish!” he shouted, making Nicole jump. Her eyes widened with surprise, not expecting him to lash out at her for something he did wrong. “I felt really guilty about what I did, and wanted to make sure Sage understood it was a one-time thing, never to be repeated, and never to be discussed to anyone else. That day she overdosed I was really going to talk to her-”

“You lied to me! You said you were going to try and patch things up with me but really all you cared about was her!” Nicole screamed, surprising herself and Niall. She wasn’t the type to yell, ever. It just wasn’t in her character.

“That’s not true,” he snapped, pointing a long finger at her chest. “I wanted to talk to her because I care about you, I love you Nicole. I want no one else but you-”

“Stop,” she insisted, her olive eyes finding the floor. “Finish what you came here to say, or leave. I don’t want to hear how much you love me because, frankly, I don’t believe you.”

Niall swallowed hard, her words cutting him like a knife, but eventually he gained his composure and continued, “After that, I tried completely ignoring her. I figured the best way to get past what happened was to just try and forget what happened, but seeing her at dinner that night changed everything. When you left to take that call, she yelled at me. Called me a coward and threated to tell you about what happened if I didn’t do it soon. I tried reasoning with her, and she said the only way she’d keep it a secret was if I gave her some closer. She wanted to meet up and talk about what happened, so we made plans to discuss things when you were at class, or—uh wherever you were.

“As you can imagine, one thing lead to another, and—she forced herself on me, Nicole!”

“Why didn’t you say no?” she whispered the only logical response that came to mind. If he would have said no, everything would still be okay; she could have possibly forgiven the New Zealand insistent, but this-?

“It’s not like you’re any better!”

“Excuse me?” she asked, raising her light brown eyebrows.

“You cheated on me too.”

“That is completely different, Niall, and you know it. For starters, we weren’t even really together, and Harry was my ex-boyfriend before I even met you—before you ever met him! We still had unresolved feelings, and I’d never truly gotten over him, but eventually I figured my shit out and I chose you Niall. I wanted to be with you for forever, but you obviously didn’t feel the same way.”

Nicole and Niall stared wildly at each other; the only noise in the room was their heavy breathing. Before Nicole had the chance to stop him, he closed the space between them, crashing his lips on hers. For a moment, she didn’t know how to react; her arms fell limp against her sides and her brain stopped functioning. Eventually, she regained consciousness, and pushed him away. He stopped kissing her, but his hands closed around her wrists, forcing her to stand merely centimeters away from him.

“I fucking love you, Nicole. I want you back. I’m so sorry about what I did. You mean more to me that anyone else, please forgive me?”

The tears were pouring from her eyes, blurring her vision. She couldn’t form words, so instead she shook her head, knowing deep down there was no way she could ever get past what had happened. His grip tightened around her wrists and he violently shook her, causing her to let out a light whimper.

“Dammit, Nicole. I forgave you. Return the fucking favor.”

“Niall, stop, please,” she demanded, her words not nearly as powerful as she’d wanted them to be. “Please, Niall, you’re hurting me!”

“Say you forgive me,” he demanded, griping her so tightly now she was sure he’d leave a bruise. “Fucking say you forgive me! I know you love me Nicole!”

“Niall-” before Nicole could finish, a fist was speeding past her face, connecting hard with Niall’s jaw. “Shit!”

Harry lunged towards Niall, his large hands wrapping around his pale neck, sending him to the floor before Harry climbed on top of him. Niall tried to fight back, but Harry was punching him so hard, over and over again, clearly taken advantage of Niall’s smaller body and drunkenness.

“Stop it!” Nicole shrieked, watching the lads roll around on the floor. She was too afraid to try and pull them apart for fear of hurting the baby. “Stop it right fucking now you bloody idiots!”

Harry reluctantly listened to her pleads, and untangled himself from Niall before struggling to his feet. Niall curled into a tight ball, holding his legs against his chest and crying out in pain.

“What the fuck, Harry! What is your problem?” Nicole shrieked, rushing to Niall’s side. She fell to her knees, cupping his bloody face in her hands before resting his head in her lap. She looked up at Harry, her eyes full of anger, before snapping at him, “Get him some ice, now!”

He stared at her blankly, unable to will his feet to move. His green eyes darted from his mate to his ex-girlfriend, unable to believe what he’d done. After she shot him a dirty look, he gained his composure before rushing to the kitchen, finally following her demands.

Nicole turned her attention back to Niall, his blue eyes staring weakly up at her. She offered him a smile, and he grinned sheepishly; this was not how he’d wanted things to go.

“Nick?” he spoke softly, no longer full of anger, all he wanted was to make things okay again, but that seemed impossible.

“Yeah?”

“I really am sorry.”

“I know,” she replied, leaning forward and brushing her lips against his forehead. She ran her fingers through his hair, silently wondering how they got here. How did her life end up like this? Nothing ever seemed to go right for her. Her life had always been one fucked up event after the other.

“Will you ever forgive me?”

She nodded, beginning to cry again. Her pregnancy made her so emotional, it was embarrassing. “Yes, I believe so, but-” she sucked in a sharp breath, trying to calm herself down before finishing. “I won’t ever forget what happened Niall, and that’s what matters most. If I can’t forget it, I won’t ever be able to trust you again, and relationships don’t work without trust.”

“I can prove it to you; let me show you that you can trust me-”

“Sh,” she pressed her finger to his lips, forcing him to stop talking. “I will always love you Niall, but after what happened, we will never be more than mates, okay? I’m sorry, but that’s just how it has to be.”

He didn’t say another word, but instead closed his eyes and snuggled up to her body, deciding to make the most of their time together before it was taken from him forever.

Harry quietly appeared from the kitchen, carrying a bag of ice wrapped in a towel. He didn’t dare look at Nicole as he handed her the ice before slowing backing away, letting her attend to Niall’s wounds. He wanted to feel bad for his actions, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. In his opinion, Niall deserved it. Nicole didn’t deserve to be hurt like that after all she’d been through. Niall was supposed to take care of her and treat her right, but he’d messed it up. He’d cheated on her, and that angered Harry endlessly. He’d constantly thought about it since she’d told him about it the other night and it’d kept him from sleeping properly. Harry cared about Nicole so much, sometimes it physically hurt. All he wanted was for her to be happy, but it seemed as soon as she found happiness, it was ripped away from her, and he was at fault for that just as much as anyone else.

“Harry, babe, what’re you doing in here-?” Alice’s high voice echoed through the room as she appeared suddenly, dressed only in one of Harry’s shirts. She stopped dead in her tracks once noticing her boyfriend wasn’t alone. “Nicole, Niall—? What the hell is going on?”

Harry looked at his girlfriend and then at Nicole before returning his gaze back to his girlfiend. “I can explain.”

Alice rested her hands on her tiny hips and tapped her foot impatiently, waiting for Harry to elaborate. Nicole let out a deep sigh, realizing it would be quite a while before she’d get to go back to bed.