My One and Only

Nicole stared awkwardly across the kitchen table as Harry and Alice bantered in harsh whispers. Slowly, she brought her cup of tea to her full lips before taking a long slip, looking over her shoulder momentarily at the front room where Niall was sleeping, wishing more than anything she was in there with him cuddled up and pretending like nothing bad had happened between them. Seeing him had made her realize how much she truly missed him, but sadly things could never be the same anymore. She needed to move on. She deserved better than a bloke that slept with her best mate, even if he claimed it was a mistake.

Growing tired over their arguing, Nicole audibly cleared her throat, forcing Alice and Harry to stop talking and turn their attention to her. She raised her eyebrows, and Alice narrowed her eyes before forcing a smile across her dark red lips.

“So, you and Niall broke up, yeah?” she asked, reaching to grab Harry’s hand as she talked to his ex-girlfriend, pretending not to be the least bit intimidated. Harry tensed at first, but quickly softened his expression and intertwined his fingers with hers.

“Yeah.”

“That still doesn’t explain why you can’t stay at your flat.”

“It’s a long story-” Nicole began before Harry interrupted her.

“Her flat is infested with bugs, and she doesn’t have the money for a hotel.” Nicole turned sharply to Harry, her olive eyes narrowed into slits. She was already less than average looks-wise compared to Alice, she didn’t want him making her out to be poor as well. He shrugged his shoulders, and turned to face his girlfriend, eager to see if she’d believed him.

“Don’t you have any family you can stay with?”

For the first time that morning, Nicole felt at a loss for words. She didn’t like talking about her family. She’d only completely shared the intimate details of her life with two people and that was Harry and Sage. She was not about to tell Alice about her dead mum and abusive father; that was crossing the line.

“Not really.”

“Why?” Alice was really beginning to annoy Nicole with her continuous, prying questions. Frankly, Nicole’s life was none of her business.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“There is nowhere else you can stay besides here?”

Nicole took a deep breath, her eyes falling to her drink before she peered up at Harry through her eyelashes. He was already looking at her, his eyes full of hurt. He understood better than anyone that she truly did have nowhere else to go. Nicole didn’t have friends, she didn’t let people in, and she spent most of her life alone taking care of her drug addicted mother. He hated putting her in such an awkward position. She shouldn’t have to explain anything to anyone, especially his ex-girlfriend.

“Not really.” Nicole said, and Alice looked at her questionably, willing her to elaborate. With a heavy sigh, she continued, “Harry is the only constant thing in my life. We’ve been through a lot together, but we always find our way back to each other. He is the only person that’s every truly been there for me through thick and thin. He’s my person, and I know I can always count on him.” Nicole could feel Harry’s green eyes watching her closely, willing her to look at him, but she didn’t dare turn her gaze in his direction. She was afraid if they made eye contact, she might cry, every memory they’d shared would resurface and with the pregnancy affecting her emotions, she’d never be able to stop the tears.

“How long have you two known each other?” Alice finally asked after a lingering moment of silence.

“Since secondary school.” Harry answered, noticing that Nicole was on the verge of breaking down. He didn’t want her to speak anymore; she needed time to collect herself.

“And you two dated, yeah?”

Harry nodded his head, thinking the word ‘dated’ didn’t really correctly define what he’d had with Nicole. There was more to their relationship than the average secondary school couple. They’d be in love; completely and utterly, head over heels in love with each other, and that was something a lot of people never understood. They were more than boyfriend and girlfriend; they were best friends, and possibly soul mates, but sadly fate didn’t seem to agree.

“I don’t want her staying here.” Alice turned all her attention to Harry, pretending that Nicole was no longer in the room. “You two obviously have a pretty extensive past, and I don’t think it’s fair to me for the both of you to be living together.”

Harry’s eyes darted from Alice to Nicole and back to Alice before they grew dark; Nicole instantly realized he was furious, and she prepared herself for his inevitable screaming.

“You don’t bloody live here, so I don’t understand why you care so fucking much.”

Alice looked completely caught off-guard. She’d obviously not been expecting that; it was probably the first time he’d ever raised his voice with her. Her bottom lip began to quiver, and before long her eyes were filling with tears, letting Nicole know she should let them be alone. Quickly, she stood up from the table and hurried out of the kitchen. She noticed Niall’s beaten-up, sleeping body on the couch, and just seeing him made her want to cry again. She placed a kiss on his cheek before grabbing her keys and a pair of shoes in order to slip outside, so she could just get away from everything even if it was just for a minute; all the tension in the flat, Alice and Harry arguing, and Niall—she wanted to be alone, she wanted to cry, she wanted to feel happy again, but that seemed impossible at this point.

After taking only a few steps, Nicole came to a stop. Her feet felt so heavy she physically couldn’t walk anymore. Slowly, she stumbled to the ground, resting her back against the nearby wall and pulling her knees up to her chest. She didn’t bother with trying to hold back her tears any longer. She let herself cry, she let herself scream in pain, she let herself feel broken for once instead of holding it all in and pretending to be okay.

“Nicole?”

Slowly, Nicole peeled her hands from her face, and her vision was slightly blurred from the tears, but she managed to recognize the person hovering above her. It was Zayn’s girlfriend, Emily, and that’s about all she knew about her.

“Are you okay?”

Nicole managed to nod, but not nearly as confidently as she’d intended. Without saying a word, Emily sunk to the ground, settling in the spot next to Nicole before wrapping her arm around her shoulders. Nicole attempted to wipe her tears away with the back of her hand, but she failed miserably because the tears just wouldn’t stop falling.

“I’m sure everything will be alright, I know we don’t really know each other, but if you want to talk I’m willing to listen. I’m an excellent listener, honest, my mates always commend my listening skills.”

Nicole couldn’t help but laugh as she turned to face the light, blonde-haired girl. She had a bright, reassuring smile on her lips that made Nicole feel like she could trust her, and that was definitely a rarity for her. Before she could stop herself, the words were her leaving her lips like word vomit, but for some reason she didn’t necessarily care that she might be making a huge mistake; she needed to tell someone, “I’m pregnant.”

Emily’s green bean colored eyes widened immediately; she hadn’t, in the slightest, been expecting to hear that. “So, Niall’s the father, yeah?”

Nicole shook her head, starting to feel a bit uneasy about the whole thing. “It’s Harry.”

Even if she wanted to, it would have been impossible for Emily to hide the shocked expression on her face. She had no idea what she was getting herself into when she decided to be a good person and help the sobbing girl.

“That’s an interesting plot twist.” Emily said, causing Nicole to laugh; that was the truth if she’d ever heard it. “Is that why you’re crying? Did Niall find out and break-up with you-?”

“No. No one knows, well, except you…”

“Wow, alright. I seriously had no idea; you’re not at all showing yet.”

Nicole shrugged her shoulders, knowing that wasn’t true, but deciding not to argue. Since she’d been so skinny before, people struggled with noticing her slight weight gain, but she noticed and that was all that mattered. None of her clothes fit right anymore, and her boobs had practically doubled in size—well, not quite, but they seemed to grow more and more every day.

“I’m only a little over a couple months along.”

“I see,” Emily said quietly, obviously at a loss for words. It wasn’t everyday your boyfriend’s mate’s girlfriend tells you she’d pregnant with your boyfriend’s other mate’s baby—that was the type of shit you only saw on the Jeremy Kyle show.

“What do you think I should do?” Nicole asked, thinking it was worth a shot. Maybe Emily knew what she should do about the entire mess, because she sure as hell didn’t know where to go from here. For starters, she still loved her ex-boyfriend, and her baby-daddy was dating another woman, and she’d already waited several weeks longer than intended to tell Harry about the baby—he was going to go mental when he found out, she just knew it.

“About telling them about the baby?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I’m not exactly sure what you should do, but I have a few ideas. Obviously, you need to tell Harry as soon possible because the longer you wait, the madder he’ll be you didn’t tell him sooner. I also understand there is a time and place for things like this to come out into the open, but you have to figure out what that time is on your own. You may not be showing now, but you will be soon enough, and it’s important he knows what’s going on with your body before he has to make assumptions based off of the way you look. As for Niall, I wouldn’t worry about him for right now. This is between you and Harry, only, no matter what kind of relationship you have with Niall.”

Nicole was speechless. She’d never had anyone be so honest with her before while still caring about her feelings and overall giving good advice. Sage had always been honest, but a complete bitch as well, and her advice was always selfish. It was a breath of fresh air to talk to Emily; it was exactly what Nicole needed at this time in her life.

“Thank you.”

Emily smiled, her entire face brightening up before she squeezed Nicole’s shoulder. “It’s not a problem. Are you keeping the baby then?”

That was something else Nicole needed to figure out. She knew she couldn’t get an abortion. Obviously, that would be the easiest option, just terminate the pregnancy and get on with her life, leave Harry out of it completely, but Nicole would never be able to live with herself if she did that. At this point, her most ideal option would be adoption. A world-famous pop-star didn’t need to be worried about a baby any more than she did as a 19-year-old uni student.

“I’m considering adoption.”

“Well, if you need any help filling out paper work, or just want someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to call me; I can give you my number. I hope we can be friends, Nicole. You seem like such a sweet girl.”

“I would love nothing more than to be friends with you.”

Emily smiled again before pulling Nicole into a warm hug. She held onto her for a few minutes, giving Nicole the comfort she needed so badly. “I know you’ll do the right thing and make the right decision. You’re a smart girl, Nicole.”

“Thanks so much, it means a lot.” Nicole replied, noticing she was no longer crying. Once Emily pulled away, her eyes immediately turned to the small watch on her wrist.

“Oh, lord. I was supposed to be at Zayn’s 40 minutes ago, he’s probably freaking out, or actually, I haven’t gotten any texts or calls... that butthead is probably still sleeping!”

Nicole laughed as she pulled herself to her feet before helping Emily up as well. “You better go check on him, yeah?”

“Gosh, probably. That lazy arse hasn’t even noticed I’m late! Some caring boyfriend he is!”

“Withhold sex as punishment, that’s what I do.” Emily began to blush profusely, clearly embarrassed by Nicole’s words, but she nodded nonetheless.

“Yes, yes, maybe I’ll try that!” she said as she scurried off in the direction of Zayn’s flat before turning to look over her shoulder. “I almost forgot my number! Ugh, I’ll just have Zayn text it to Harry to give to you—sorry if that doesn’t make sense!”

“I gottcha.”

“Good, alright. See you around, Nicole!”

After waving goodbye to Emily, Nicole decided she was ready to go back to Harry’s, and she desperately hoped he’d resolved things with Alice. As she approached his door, Alice came bursting out into the corridor, tears streaming down her face as she stormed past Nicole and down the staircase to the car park. Harry soon appeared in the doorway, not bothering to run after his girlfriend, but instead stared blankly at Nicole.

“What’s going on,” she asked as he moved out of the way to let her into the flat.

“Nothing, she’s just upset. She’ll get over it.”

Nicole raised an eyebrow, slightly confused and incredibly surprised by his actions. “Did you two breakup?”

“No.”

“Then why aren’t you going after her?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “She needs her space. She’ll get over it eventually, and then everything will fix itself.”

“Wow,” Nicole spoke, completely baffled by what he was saying.

“What?”

“Nothing really, it’s just your mentality about how to handle a relationship conflicts is a lot different than when we dated.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that whenever we got in fights and I went storming off like that, you would have chased me down and demand I tell you what was wrong and how you could fix.”

He shrugged his shoulders again before taking a step closer to her. Her stomach immediately began to feel uneasy, but for the first time in weeks she couldn’t blame it on the baby. “Things change.”

“I see that.”

Harry reached to caress her tear-stained cheek before swiping her damp hair out of her face. “I have a couple radio interviews this evening, but I was wondering if maybe, tomorrow, I could take you up on that rain check?”

Nicole bit her lip before nodding. “On one condition.”

“Name it.”

“We watch ‘Love, Actually’ too, and ‘The Notebook’, and maybe ‘Dirty Dancing’ as well-”

“Of course. I have enough popcorn and candy to last us the entire day.”

“Perfect,” she whispered as he leaned forward, pressing his forehead to hers. “Listen, I have something I’ve been meaning to tell you-”

“Bloody hell,” Niall exclaimed from across the room, forcing Harry and Nicole to jump apart. “My head is pounding, and I’m fucking hungry!”

“I’ll get you some ice,” Nicole muttered, scurrying away to the kitchen.

“I’ll make us sandwiches,” Harry added, following after her. He wanted so desperately to ask her to finish her thought, but he figured the moment was gone. Whatever she had to tell him, she would do it on her own, he didn’t need to bug her.

“Be quick about it, yeah?” Niall yelled, obviously feeling a lot more energized. Nicole sighed, her eyes fluttering close for a quick second, just long enough for her to regret not taking advantage of the moment she’d just had with Harry. Not just because she wanted to tell him about the baby, but at that moment, kissing him sounded like the most perfect and natural thing to do. Maybe next time, she thought, before taking Niall his bag of ice. If there ever was a next time.