My One and Only

“Would you rather die saving the love of your life or live a hundred years but watch the love of your life die?” Harry asked from the opposite side of the couch. Nicole peeled her eyes from the telly, the pair had already watched Titanic and was now nearing the end of The Notebook. Her eyes widened as she thought about his question, finding the answer to be difficult. She figured, if she had a love like Rose and Jack, she’d want to be in Jack’s position, but then again she wouldn’t be as selfish as Rose and not share her piece of wood.

“Um, I’d want to die saving the love of my life, I think, because even though living to be 100 would be nice, it wouldn’t be the same alone-”

“But Rose wasn’t alone!” Harry protested, and Nicole pressed her lips together, considering his words, but deciding to stick with her original answer.

She shook her head before replying, “Still, Jack was the love of her life, and although she may fall in love again, nothing will compare to what they had, and that’s why she ended up with him again once she died.”

A large grin spread across Harry’s lips. “I agree completely.”

Nicole rolled her eyes, irritated by his attempt to play devil’s advocate, before returning her attention to the movie. Her lips twisted into a smile as she recognized the scene, it was probably her favorite romantic scene ever; Noah was just about to tell Ally exactly how he felt about her.

“If a guy ever said this to me, I think I would have sex with him right then and there. I wouldn’t be stupid like Ally and drive away. After a guy makes a romantic speech like that to you something inside you should click, you should just know you’re meant to be.”

Suddenly, Harry scooted closer to Nicole before grabbing her shoulders and staring directly into her eyes. At first, she became alarmed, not at all sure about his intentions. Then, as Noah’s angry and passionate voice filled the room, Harry’s joined as he recited Nicole’s favorite line word for word, “It’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, every day. You and me… every day.”

For a moment, Nicole couldn’t pull her eyes away from Harry. She was literally speechless; she couldn’t believe he’d actually just done that. Eventually, she turned away, trying to focus on the movie as he hovered above her, his fingers still gripping her shoulders.

“So, we’re not going to have sex?”

“What? Harry—no.”

“But you said-”

Nicole rolled her eyes, unable to believe they were having this conversation. “What would your girlfriend say about that?”

Harry let out a heavy breath before falling limp on top of Nicole. At first, her body became rigid before she settled beneath him and snuggled her face in the crook of his neck. They were good mates and that was all, Nicole reminded herself. They were mates that had been through a lot together, so it was inevitable they’d be somewhat intimate with one another.

“I was joking.” Harry muttered in her ear, his hot breath warming her skin.

“I know,” she replied as he slid from on top of her to behind her before wrapping his arms around her body and hugging her closely.

“Shouldn’t say things you don’t mean, though.” He joked, squeezing her side.

“No, I meant it, but your slag girlfriend got in the way.”

Harry raised his eyebrows, “tell me how you really feel.”

Nicole laughed and leaned closer to Harry, pressing her forehead against his. “I’m joking, mate. I’m honestly happy for you. Alice is a very pretty girl.”

Harry offered her a half smile. “Yeah, I like her.”

“Maybe she’s your Rose.”

“Mmm, I dunno about that.”

Nicole didn’t reply but instead cuddled up closer to Harry, feeling completely relaxed and happy for the first time in a while. Just as she was about to nod off, her mobile buzzed next to her, and she lazily untangled herself from Harry in order to answer it. Not bothering to check the caller-ID, she slid her finger across the bottom of the screen before pressing the phone to her ear.

“Hello?” she said, trying to ignore Harry’s intense stare. He was visibly upset that their cuddle session had to end because of a, most likely, stupid phone call.

“Hi, Nicole?” Her olive eyes widened as she recognized the voice. Without drawing attention to herself, she slid her finger over the side, volume button of her mobile and quickly decreased the volume to make sure Harry wouldn’t overhear. “This is Dr. Moore. I just wanted to confirm your appointment for tomorrow evening at 6:00 o’clock. I promise there will not be a cancelation this time.”

“Hi, yeah, okay. Sounds good, I’ll see you then, yeah?” Harry’s eyebrows lifted as he tried to figure out who Nicole was talking to. She only left the flat to go to class or pick up a few things at the store; she never went out to meet friends or anything; something felt weird.

“Of course, I’m looking forward to it. Goodbye and enjoy the rest of your day.” The doctor had hung up before Nicole had the chance to say goodbye. She avoided Harry’s gaze by staring at her mobile. He would inevitably want to know who she’d been talking to, and she was quite worried about telling him the truth.

“Who was that?” he asked, reaching to grab her hand. She tensed beneath his touch, but eventually relaxed against him, finding comfort in just being close to him and taking in his warmth and scent. She peered up at him through her eyelashes, and the fact that he looked generally interested helped her to decide it was finally time to tell him about the baby.

“It was my doctor.”

He looked taken-aback. “Is something wrong? Or are you going in for a check-up?”

Nicole cleared her throat before sucking in a sharp breath. This was it, the moment she’d been afraid of for the last month or so. She couldn’t wait any longer. He needed to know. He deserved to know.

“I’m pregnant.”

“Does Niall know?”

Nicole chewed on her lip. Of course he thought the baby was Niall’s— that would have made the most sense. She’d had sex with Niall handfuls of times over the last few months, but she’d only been with Harry once. One fucking time had gotten her knocked-up. If they’d just used a condom, none of this would have happened. But, she couldn’t think about ‘what ifs’ right now. She needed to explain everything to Harry, and hopefully he wouldn’t be too mad.

“No, it’s not-”

“Coley, you need to tell him! I know you two broke up, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have the right to know-”

“It’s yours, Harry. The baby is yours. I had a DNA test done. This is none of Niall’s business.”

For a half-minute, Harry was speechless—Nicole wasn’t sure that he was even breathing, but after that, things made a sharp turn for the worse. In one swift movement, Harry had pushed Nicole off him and had jumped to his feet. His hands were knotted in his hair as he balled them into fists; his face had quickly turned bright red. Nicole tried to prepare herself for the screaming, but she knew too well that there was no way she could fully prepare herself for what was about to happen.

“We had sex almost three months ago!” she’d never heard him this mad. His voice was so low, but so incredibly loud; it was like he was talking into a microphone. “It took you three fucking months to tell me that you’re pregnant with my baby!”

“Please stop yelling-”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do right now, Nicole. This is not okay. How fucked up in the head are you to think that it was okay to wait this fucking long to tell me?”

“I couldn’t find the right time,” her voice was shaky, she literally felt like bursting into tears, but she knew that would only make him angrier. She didn’t get to feel sorry for herself right now, he was right, she’d been wrong to keep the baby a secret for so long.

“You’ve been living in my flat for over a week, and you could find the right time? You’re unbelievable!”

Nicole slowly got up from the couch and took a couple steps towards Harry; he was breathing heavy from shouting so much. She reached to rest a hand on his arm, but he swatted her away.

“Listen, I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, that was wrong of me, but you know now, and besides, you don’t need to worry about this, really. I’m taking care of it. I think adoption will be best-”

“You decided that on your own, yeah? You are just going to give our child away without even checking to make sure if that’s what I want?” he wasn’t shouting anymore, but he was still clearly mad. It seemed Nicole couldn’t say anything right.

“I didn’t think you’d care—the last thing you need is a baby, Harry.”

“That’s right, Nicole, you didn’t think. I know neither of us is in the ideal situation to raise a kid, but it’s not something I’m willing to rule out.”

“Adoption is the best option. I know better than anyone that unfit parents can fuck-up a kid’s life. I’m not willing to put my own children through what I went through just because I’m too selfish to put my baby up for adoption.”

“You think I would beat out kid?”

“What, Harry, no. You know that’s not what I mean-”

“You’re bloody ridiculous, Nicole. Honestly, I can see why Niall cheated on you. You’re a selfish bitch that only cares about herself.”

“That’s not fair.” Nicole knew he didn’t mean what he was saying, but his words still hurt. Now, she couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Maybe, there was some truth to his words. Maybe Nicole really did shelter herself off from the world so much that it affected her relationships, maybe she was selfish and made people feel like they weren’t worth her time, maybe she did deserve everything that had happened to her.

“I’m so fucking done with this right now,” Harry said, turning away from her and beginning to walk away. Before Nicole could call after him, Louis appeared from his bedroom, and he was only wearing joggers.

“What are you two arguing about? At first I thought it was the telly, but clearly not.”

Harry looked between his mate and ex-girlfriend, and without muttering a word, grabbed his keys and stormed out of the front door. Nicole remained stationary, unsure if she should chase after him or not. She decided to just leave it alone, knowing it would only make him angrier if she tried talking to him more. In the past, he’d always chased after her if they got in a fight because he knew if she was mad, chances were she wanted to talk about it, even if she pretended like she didn’t. Nicole had learned to let Harry simmer whenever he was mad. If he walked away, he was emotionally done, and if she pushed him too far, he would blow up on her and say things he’d regret.

“What did I miss?” Louis asked, turning his full attention to Nicole; she could barely see him through the tears filling her eyes.

“I fucked up, big time.” She muttered before running past him and to her room. She threw herself on the bed and buried her head in her pillow, staining the white fabric with her wet mascara. It wasn’t supposed to be this way, she thought as her breathing slowly started to calm. Her choice for adoption was clear now. There wasn’t any reason two teenagers should be raising a baby in the first place, but two teenagers that yelled and cursed at each other like her and Harry had just did, and couldn’t seem to get their shit together were in no way fit to be parents. In Nicole’s mind, the baby being born meant the end of her and Harry. After she had the child, there would be nothing tying her to him anymore, and she wasn’t sure how to feel about that.