Remember

Scott was five years old when his dad hit his mom for the first time.

Scott remembers perfectly because it happened after his first trip to the beach with his mom. He remembers his mommy waking him up super early and shhing him with a finger to her lips, telling him to be quiet but hurry up and get ready because today was a special day. Jumping out of bed, Scott remembers how quick he got dressed and met his mom downstairs at the door. He remembers how her arms were full of bags and beach towels and even some of Scott's toys.

Scott remembers the short drive there. He remembers hanging his head out the window like a puppy and making his mom laugh when she caught him with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. He remembers the excited feeling in the pit of his stomach when he caught his first smell of the ocean water.

And it was the best day. Literally the best day of Scott's little life. When his mom helped him build his first sand castle and when she held on to him as she swam out into the ocean, the cool salty water making them both cough at first when a wave crashed into them.

There had been ice cream on beach blankets as Scott's mom reapplied a think layer of sunscreen to his reddening arms and cheeks.

Scott remembers being bone tired by the end of the day. So tired that his mom had carried him back to the car and placed him in the backseat telling him to sleep. Scott remembers kissing his mother's cheek and telling her he loved her before his little eyes closed on him.

What Scott doesn't remember is the single tear that rolled down his mom's cheek.

Even as old as Scott was now, the ripe old age of 16, he still remembers how his father was waiting for them both to get home. He can still see the can of beer in his hand, the smell of it on his breath. Scott still flinches whenever he gets whiff of the awful stuff.

It had hurt, the blow to his mother's face. Even as young as Scott was, and seeing something he didn't quite understand, watching his mom's head snap back, hearing the harsh sound of his father's hand on his mom's cheek, Scott had recoiled, pulling himself back against the arm of the porch before turning and running.

Scott ran. He'd ran as fast as his little legs could carry him. He ran down the street, through his neighbor's yards only stopping in front of the light blue house with dark blue shudders.

At five years old Scott ran to the only place he felt safe.

Isaac.

Also five years old and Isaac Lahey was Scott's best friend. (Scott wouldn't meet Stiles for another year yet and even then as close as they'd end up, no one could even take Isaac's place with Scott.)

Pecking on Isaac's window, Scott gasped for breath. His cheeks were wet with tears and his knee stung from where he'd tripped in old Mrs. Hayfield's yard.

Scott knows he'll never forget Isaac opening his widow and nearly pulling Scott inside, his bright blue eyes wide with worry at the sight of his friend in tears. No words were spoken that night, none were needed. Letting Isaac pull him down onto his bed, Scott remembers crying himself to sleep, Isaac's hold on him never letting go.

In the morning Scott woke up to his mother's worried face, a dark blue bruise on her cheek. Scott remembers crying in his mothers arms as she promised him he'd never ever have to see anything like last night again.

Scott never saw his father again after that night.

*~*~*~*~*

Isaac was seven when his mommy died.

Isaac remembers the sickness in her eyes, in her tired smile, in the shake her hands had acquired. He remembers how for a long time she was never quite as happy as she'd always been. Isaac's mother had been a beautiful woman, tall with blue eyes so bright they matched the sky. Her hair as long as it was curly and her smile always, always made Isaac's heart flutter is his chest.

But Isaac remembers the day his mommy's smile didn't seem quite as bright. A week later Isaac learned about cancer and how much he hated, hated, hated it.

“Now Isaac,” His mommy had said to him one night. “Just because I might not be here with you forever doesn't mean mommy won't always love you. You will always be loved, my angel.” And Isaac had cried, begging his mommy not to leave him.

Isaac remembers his dad, before mommy had gotten sick. He used to play with Isaac, read books to him at night before bed. Daddy was good and Isaac loved him. That was before though.

After mommy lost her hair, Isaac's daddy only seemed to only care about Cam, his older brother. It was okay though because mommy still loved him and that was all Isaac needed. Not a daddy or a stinky older brother who only wanted to steal his toys and push him around.

Isaac remembers how pretty outside it is the day they put his mommy in the ground. He knows she's gone away from him but Isaac doesn't want to leave her. He remembers watching as three men shovel dirt onto the box his mommy's in. Isaac also remembers the hard grip of his father's hand as he drags him away from his mommy.

That night, after Cam is asleep in bed, Isaac remembers creeping out of his bed, out of his room, moving slowly down the hallway towards the loud crashing sound that woke him.

“You!” Isaac remembers jumping and knocking his head against the wall. “You evil little bastard, you! Its your fault she's dead!” Isaac's dad had screamed as he'd grabbed a hold of his son's tiny shoulder's and shook.

Isaac remembers gasping and trying to pull away but his daddy always was stronger than him.

“She was fine! Fine until you were born! She couldn't just have Cam and be happy. NO! She just had to have another fucking baby to make her happy!” Isaac remembers his daddy's wide eyes behind his glasses. “She was in remission! She was getting better! But you, you did this to her! You killed her! You worthless piece of trash!”

That night Isaac remembers the first time his father backhanded him across the face. Isaac also remembers the broken glass bottle his daddy broke beside of his head.

Breaking away from his father's hold, Isaac remembers running down the hall and out the back door. He remembers how mommy had said if he was ever hurt or in trouble and daddy was nowhere to be found that Scott's house was safe for him, that Mrs. McCall would take care of him.

It was raining outside that night as Issac made his way to Scott's house. It wasn't too cold but by the time he'd finally made it two streets over to the other boys home Isaac remembers shivering so hard it made his head hurt.

Reaching up with his small hand, Isaac had knocked as hard as he could on Scott's door. From inside the house he could hear Scott yelling to his mom that he'd get it. He also heard Scott's mom tell him to ask who it was before opening the door.

“Who is it?” Scott had asked and Isaac attempted three times to answer before finally managing it.

Isaac remembers Scott nearly breaking the door down to get it open fast enough. He also remembers the look on his friends face when he sees him.

“Isaac?” Scott's voice had trembled. That was when Isaac lost when little hold he had left in him. In Scott's arms, in the doorway of his best friend's house, Isaac cried.

Isaac doesn't remember how he got from the doorway of Scott's house to his friends bed. Later on he'll learn that before Melissa found them, both crying by then, that Scott had pulled him in from the rain and had made it as far as the stairs before calling for his mom's help.

To this day, nearly nine years later, Isaac knows he will never forget the kindness he was shown that night in his friend's home.

“Sleep now, Isaac.” Scott had whispered, a frozen bag of peas pressed gently to his darkening eye. “I'll take care of you.”

Isaac remembers knowing in that instant just how much he loved Scott.

~*~*~*~*~

When Isaac is twelve he remembers telling Scott his most deep dark secret.

“I don't, um, I don't think I like girls very much.” Isaac says, his eyes downcast as he speaks his secret out loud for the first time.

“I don't really like girls either, dude. I'd rather just play video games.” Scott had said, a goofy smile on his face.

Isaac sighs.

“No, I mean. Like Stiles. You know how he likes Lydia?” Isaac tries again.

“Oh man, if I have to hear one more time how her eyes twinkle in the sunlight or whatever, I'm gonna barf.” Isaac remembers Scott fake puking.

“Yeah, um, right. So I, I don't like girls like that exactly. I like,” Isaac stops and takes a deep breath. “I think I like boys that way. The way Stiles likes Lydia.”

Isaac remembers his friends silence and the tears that had welled up in his eyes.

“So like, you like boys then?” Scott had asked. “Like you think boys are cooler than girls?”

“Y-yes. I do.”

“Oh, okay. Cool man.” Isaac remembers jerking his head up to see an even bigger smile on Scott's face. “I don't think I blame you for it, I mean, girls are too weird for me. Hey! Maybe I like boys too!” Scott says and Isaac glares.

“I'm not joking, Scott.” Isaac crosses his arms over his chest, a defensive move he's become accustomed to after years of living with his dad and brother.

“What? No. I know. I'm just saying, maybe I like boys too. I mean, I like girls. Girls are awesome but I can totally like boys too, right? I don't have to just like one, do I?” Scott asked, a look of confusion on his face.

“I don't-no, Scott. You don't have to pick just one. I don't think.” And Isaac knows he isn't sure. He's only twelve and not sure of much of anything passed knowing he really does not like girls.

“Awesome!” Scott exclaimed before turning back to the video game controller in his hand.

Isaac sits quietly, his mind racing with what he's just told Scott and been told in return.

“Cause ya know, Stiles might think Lydia has the prettiest eyes in the world, but dude, I'm pretty sure that one goes to you.” Scott's voice is quiet, his eyes never leaving the TV in front of him.

Isaac remembers the knot his stomach was in by the time he made it home that night.

~*~*~*~*~

Isaac was running, something he found himself doing more and more of lately. Always running. From his father, the bullies at school, his father again and now, now he was running from Scott. Of course, of course Stiles had to go and open his ridiculously large mouth and blurt out what Isaac had gotten so good at hiding.

Isaac hated Stiles for this. He'd ruined his life, his friendship with Scott and-

“ISAAC!” Distracted by Scott's voice yelling for him, Isaac completely missed the wall in front of him.

“Oh god.” Groaning, Isaac dropped to the ground, his hands hold his head where he could already feel a bruise forming.

“Shit, Isaac, are you okay?” At sixteen years old Scott still looked like the little lost puppy his mom had always told him he was. Isaac hated him for it too.

“Fine. I'm fine, Scott. Just a little run in with this wall.” Waving his friend off, Isaac stood and started making his way away from Scott.

“Isaac, stop!” Scott pleaded, running after the taller boy. “Stop and let's-let's talk about this, okay?”

Isaac did, in fact, stop. He whirled around, groaning when Scott bumped into him.

“Talk about what, Scott? Huh? You wanna talk about how your best fucking friend just outed me to the entire school? Or how about how, in doing so, I'm never going to be able to go home again because yeah, dad'll surely kill me for this one.”

“Isaac, I-” Scott started but never finished because Isaac was quickly cutting him off.

“Oh no, I know. Let's talk about how Stiles, with Lydia's help, just had to go and-and tell you, in front of Allison and everyone, that I was so hopelessly in love with you that Jackson nearly fell out of his chair he was laughing so hard. Is that-is that what we should stop and talk about? Because I'll be honest here, Scott, I don't fucking want to talk about it!” Isaac's chest heaved as the anger inside of him was taken over by fear.

“So its true then?” Scott asked, his voice almost childlike.

Isaac saw red.

“How can you honestly be this stupid, Scott?!” Isaac yelled, tears filling his eyes. “I've loved you since we were kids and I've been in love with you since I was twelve. Remember that whole coming out to you I did? When I told you I like boys and not girls? You were the reason I knew that!”

Scott could only stare at his friend, complete surprise written all over his face.

“I mean, how could I not love you? You've been my best friend, my only friend, since I was four. You were always there for me. After mom died and dad turned into an ubber asshole. When Cam was killed, when those bullies in middle school beat the crap out of me for having girly hair. It was always you, Scott, that I ran to because I knew you'd help me, I knew I could trust you and I-yeah, so I've always loved you, you stupid idiot.”

“Why didn't you ever say anything?” Scott asked and Isaac sighed.

“Why would I, Scott? It was pretty obvious that you were straight. I mean, even if it wasn't then I would have eventually faced facts when you started drooling over Allison last year.”

Scott winced.

“Its okay though. I mean, I never planned to tell you and I sure as heck never expected you to return my feelings, so I just, hid it all away in the back of my mind. I still have no clue how Stiles and Lydia found out.”

“Lydia is scary good at finding out things no one else knows.” Scott muttered, his eyes widening as he went on. “Like, how else would anyone know that Jackson secretly likes to cuddle with someone at night. Okay, so Stiles told me that one and all I know is vodka was involved and neither of them will speak of it.” Scott grinned when the corner of Isaac's mouth tugged upwards. “Or, okay, how about the fact that Lydia knows all about Allison's crush on that new guy, Matt I think his name is? I mean, even I didn't know that and Allison and I tell each other everything.” Scott smiled wide.

“Wait, what?” Isaac looked more confused than Scott did on pop quiz day.

“And I mean, how is it exactly that Lydia knows that Stiles is totally open to having a threesome with that hot older dude at the garage where he takes his Jeep once a month? Pretty sure Stiles isn't yelling the dude's name out while he's in bed with Lydia but dude, she knows!” Scott exclaimed, his eyes wide.

“Wait, Derek? What?”

“And how exactly could Lydia know that I have always, always loved you back? Cause no way did I tell her that one, man. No way. Not even Stiles knew.” Scott smiled, his eyes nearly closing with delight when he did.

Isaac felt his breath catch in throat.

“Cause I have, man. I have always loved you. I mean, how could I not? You're my best friend. We've always taken care of each other, we spend more time together than we do with our families. And dude, come on, you know you're my blue eyes, right? I think I remember telling you something once about having the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen. Right? I totally did.” Scott grins.

“You, no. You c-can't.” Isaac can already feel the wetness on his cheeks. He hadn't even known he was crying until right then.

“Oh, I can dude. That's why Allison and I didn't work out. I mean, she's great and I'll probably always care about her but even I know you're it for me.”

“I'm what?” Isaac dared to ask.

“You're it for me, Isaac. I don't care if we're sixteen and people think we're too young to know what it really means to love someone. But I do, you know. I know what it means.”

“W-what does it mean?” Isaac found himself asking.

Stepping closer to Isaac and looking up at him, Scott answered.

“It means letting someone sleep in your bed after seeing their dad hit their mom. It means holding a bag of frozen peas to someone's face for hours after their dad hit them.” Scott stepped even closer, this time reaching down and taking Isaac's hand in his. “It means being there for them when they open up to you and trust you with their biggest secret. Its standing up for them against the bullies who wouldn't leave them alone. Its making sure your father never lays another hand on you, so help me God.” Scott grits out as his eyes catch sight of a faded yellow bruise on Isaac wrist.

Isaac swallows passed the lump forming in his throat.

“Its finally, finally admitting that I do, Isaac, I love you. I'm pretty sure I have always loved you. And man, you are totally it for me. Stiles might be my best friend but you, you're my soul-mate.” A smile so big hi cheeks were beginning to hurt, Scott finally looked up into Isaac's shocked face. “So, I'm going to kiss you now, okay? Fair warning, I've been told I'm all A's at kissing, dude, so prepare yourself.”

Isaac closed his eyes the second Scott's lips touched his own. It might have been nothing more than lips against lips but Isaac knew that nothing could ever compare to this.

Leaning into Scott, Isaac tightening his hold on his friends hand. Neither boy planned on letting go any time soon.

~*~*~*~*~

Isaac remembers the first time he met Scott. Scared, wide eyes and alone, Isaac remembers offering the other boy his hand. He remembers the tight grip Scott had when he finally grasped his hand.

Isaac remembers how Scott held onto him, never letting go, all those years ago.

Isaac knows now that Scott's hold will never lessen, no matter what.