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White light flushed his eyes when he pried them open. He tried to remember what happened but all he got out of that were some blurry images himself and another blurry image accompanied with a headache. He moved his hands to cover his face and rubbed his temples. His head felt like 10 hammers banging on his skull and cymbals clashing together right by his ears.

The mess of brown hair finally decided to find out where the hell he was. The boy slowly slid up and a sharp jab to his sides made him gasp. He managed to rest his frail body against the headboard of the bed.

He took in his surroundings and realized he was in a hospital. The walls were a sick colour of beige, and the bed sheets a ghostly white with the hospital name sewn in the corner. There was another mess of dark brown hair lying on the couch next to the bed, his legs dangling off the small couch.

The brown haired boy managed to pull a smile on his face when he saw the familiar mess of dark brown hair sleeping on the couch, occasionally mumbling incoherent things. The smile soon faded when memories of the night's past events came rushing back to him.

Screaming, crying, propositions, running, crashing.

Alex felt sick to the stomach at the memories as he let out a choked sob. 

That got the boy sleeping on the couch to stir from his deep slumber. He sat up and was surprised Alex has woken up already. A smile spread across his face but it disappeared as quickly as it came when he remembered why Alex was here in the first place. Seeing Alex cry made his heart clench and all he wanted to do was go and hug Alex until he felt better, but he knew that was not an option right now. 

Alex landed his gaze on Jack and his sobs became louder. 

"Alex..." 

"Jack, why is this happening to me? Why can't I just be loved?" Alex choked out. 

"Alex... I do love you... I-I just..." Jack trailed off

"You just can't afford to." Alex finished.

"I can't jeopardize the band li-"

"Bullshit! You know the band would be happy for us. Hell, even the fans would be glad." 

They fell silent after that, but it did not last long. 

"It's because of her, isn't it? She's using that night against us, isn't she?" It came out as more of a statement than a question. 

"I know I shouldn't have done that, but I didn't mean to! It was a mistake. I-I d-didn't mean t-to." Alex was shaking and sobbing uncontrollably.

"Lex, you can't run away from it. We can't run away from it." Jack said while trying to wrap his arms around the shaking boy in an attempt to calm him down. But that just caused him to panic even more. 

"No! Go. Go back to her. I don't need you here. Go." Alex ordered. 

"Lex-" 

"No. I'm not significant. You need to deal with her. Go."

That slapped Jack hard across his face. For Alex to think for one second that he was insignificant. He himself loves that brown eyed boy. Even in his state right now he still finds Alex beautiful. 

Jack cupped Alex's face,

"Alex, don't think for one second that you are insignificant. You are loved by all of our fans, our band and crew members and your family. Don't go thinking those things." 

"Yea, but the one that matters doesn't love me." Alex mumbled.

"I do love you! I just," Jack sighed as his ran his hands through his hair. 

"I just can't." He quietly said the last part. 

"That's why I told you to leave. Now go." Alex pointed to the door. 

Jack sighed again. 

"The doctor said you fractured one of your ribs but you'll be fine to perform by next week. We'll delay joining the Get Your Heart On! Tour. I'll call Flyzik. You get some rest, okay? See you tomorrow."

"Mmm." Alex hummed dismissively.

~|~

All night Alex was thinking what would happen if he and jack did get together.

Fans rejection, fans acceptance, disband, her, and their future.

What would they have been if that night didn't happen? Could they be together at last? How would the label react? How long can they last? What would she do?

All those scenarios running through his mind managed to keep him awake all night. It was not until there was a knock on the door did Alex realize morning had crept up on him.

"Come in."

The door flew open and a voice boomed,

"ALEX! Are you ok?! What happened?! How long do you have to stay here?! Is it serious?! Do we need to call your parents from their vacation?! Have you told them yet?!"

Another voice continued.

"No! Don't call his parents. They'll be really worried for you during their holiday. We shouldn't call them. But they'll find out sooner or later. We should just let them enjoy their time. It won't take you long to heal right? Touring shouldn't be a problem after a few weeks? We'll delay joining the GYHO! Tour! You stay here and rest as long as you-"

"Zack! Ri! Calm down! Please listen to me."

He really couldn't keep his calm demeanour when he talked about Jack. Alex answered all the questions Rian and Zack asked truthfully, and told them the whole of that night. After explaining what happened he was sobbing into Rian's shirt.

"Alex... shhh... it's gunna be ok... shhh.." Rian soothed.

"No! it won't be. Jack won't love me and I'll have to live with a threat and fear and a fucking broken heart." Alex confessed.

"Why can't he just love me? I just... I mean, I don't want anything to happen to the band as well but... I just want to be happy, is that too much to ask?" Alex was holding onto Rian's shirt for dear life.

Zack was rubbing Alex's back soothingly trying to calm him down.

"Lex, we want you to be happy too. I'm sure Jack will come around. We'd be really fucking happy that you guys finally got together, hell, everybody would. She just needs to get her shit straight and stop giving shit to you and Jack. You guys deserve each other more than anything. You and Jack will get through this, just like all the past bullshit we've been through. Don't give up on him and give him some time. I'm sure he loves you just as much as you love him, if not more."

Alex's crying has reduced to small sobs when Zack finished his speech.

"Thanks Zack. You always know what to say."

He pulled himself apart from Rian and wiped at his tear stained cheeks and eyes. Moments later, Jack came through the hospital room door and stood next to it awkwardly.

"We're gunna go see Flyzik and talk about the GYHO! Tour. You get some rest, alright?" Rian said as they walked towards the door. Shaking their heads disappointingly as they walked past Jack.

"Okay."

Jack slowly walked towards the bed when Rian and Zack left.

He dragged a chair next to the bed and sat down.

"How are you feeling?"

"I've been better." Alex answered, void of any signs of forgiveness and happiness.

Jack sighed.

"Alex, can we go back to how we were before that whole thing happened? For the band and the tour's sake?"

"And her sake" Alex mumbled.

Jack sighed warily again.

"Lex, please? I don't want to keep arguing about this. I just want my bestfriend back. I'm not going to be with her, but I won't be with you. It's the only way. Please, Alex, for us?"

It was only then that Alex lifted his head to look at jack. He noticed his eyes were rimmed red and tears threatening to spill out, and there were bags under his eyes. He assumed that Jack was crying all night, much like himself. His hair was messy and he looked worn out. Alex looked into Jack's eyes. They were filled with a mixture of pain, sadness, fear, but under all that, there was love. Alex realized then that it was just as hard for Jack, as it was for himself.

Alex sighed in defeat.

"Okay. So when can I go home?"

Jack beamed.

"In two days. When you finished your final scan. If everything is fine then we can join the GYHO! Tour in Montreal or something."

"I will be fine. I live to fucking tour. I'm not letting any chances get away."

Jack took Alex's hands in his own.

"I'm really glad I have you back. I really thought I was going to lose you when I heard the hospital call. I can't afford to lose you. You're too important to me. You're my best friend."

Alex's heart clenched when Jack said the last sentence.
You're my best friend. You're my best friend. You're my best friend.
That's all you'll ever be Alex, a best friend. his mind taunted.

He tried to keep himself together as best he could.

"Jack, you're not going to lose me. You're just as important to me. Look at me, Jack. I'm fine now. You don't have to worry."

"But I do. The thought of you gone, forever, it scares me." Jack whimpered.

"Well I'm always going to be by your side. So there's nothing to worry about." Alex assured.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

A promise you can't keep is just a promise of lies.