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Those days where you could do no wrong

"Jack! Hurry up!"

Jack groaned and picked up his pace. He was going to go on a date with his so called girlfriend and that bitch just couldn't seem to shut up.

"Alright alright!" Jack replied.

"Jacky! I told you you're supposed to call me baby!" She complained yet again.

"Alright babe" Jack rolled his eyes.

You see, this girlfriend of Jack's had laid out these rules he was suppose to follow. They were ridiculous to Jack, really. Jack had to speak a certain way, behave a certain way, and had to do anything and everything she said when they were together. It was like Jack was just a puppet for her to pull the strings.

But this was all for Alex. Jack had to remember that. And so, Jack trudged alongside her, involuntarily holding her hand while walking to wherever they're going on a that date.

Jack had promised Alex he would be back to the bus an hour or so before soundcheck so they could have some alone time and he just hoped to higher powers that he could.

"Baby we're here!" Her too sharp voice yelled.

"Yeah, ok" Jack mumbled, uninterested

The date was held in the aquarium that day and Jack couldn't help but mentally laugh at her childishness; but he was probably just biased because if it were Alex suggesting they go to the aquarium Jack would have most definitely found it cute.

The pair walked through the gates and Jack went to buy them tickets. When they were inside the aquarium there was actually very little people. It was quite peaceful and people could enjoy watching the fishes quietly. The first hallway they reached was empty and not even the workers were there.

"Oh my god Jack! They are so cute!" She gushed

Jack turned his attention back to his girlfriend and saw that she was admiring a pair of sea turtles.

The turtles were slowly swimming towards the pair and she reached out a hand to place flat against the cool glass.

The smaller turtle swam forward and nudged his head against the spot where her hand was placed. She giggled and Jack had to chuckle slightly as well.

"They're so cute. Come on Jack, put your hand here." She pulled his hand and placed it next to hers.

Moments later the other turtle swam forward as well and copied the former turtle's actions.
“Aren’t they cute?” She repeated for the umpteenth time and Jack is actually starting to like this whole date thing that she suggested they should do.

“Yeah, they are actually.” Jack replied, smiling a little

A few seconds later the turtles got bored of them and swam away. Something caught her eye and she immediately grabbed Jack’s hand and pulled him towards their destination.

“Oh wow these are badass!” Jack exclaimed pointing at one of the big Orca whales and trying to get her attention by waving his arms around frantically.

“Jack,” she laughed

“That’s not gunna help you much on gaining her attention!” She then knocked lightly on the glass barrier to show Jack what to do

“C’mon Jack. Knock”

The two started knocking on the glass until the whale sensed the commotion and turned towards them.

“Oh my gosh it’s finally swimming towards us!” He squealed

“Damn that’s a big whale! I bet it’s taller than you Jack!” She stated

“No way! I’m taller! But fuck it’s huge!” Jack squeaked

The day went on much like that. Her and Jack squealing over all the different kinds of sea animals and looking like a fangirl seeing their favourite band. When they reached the end of the aquarium Jack was called for soundcheck.

“Wow! Today was really fun. I half expected it to be boring and lame but it was quite the opposite.” Jack said

“Yeah. I had a blast today! Thanks Jack for following through.” She thanked

“No problem. I had fun too. Anyway, I should head back for soundcheck. See you!” Jack bid farewell

“Remember to text me!” She called out

Jack turned around and groaned dramatically.

“Got it!”

~|~

Jack was half way home when he remembered he had promised Alex he’d come back earlier so they could spend some time alone together.

Well shit.

He ran the rest of the way back and had 10 minutes to spare before soundcheck. He opened the door and leaned heavily on it to see if Alex was still there. And he was.

Alex looked up to see who interrupted his train of thoughts.

His eyes were blank when he looked at Jack- no, he looked through Jack.

“Oh.” was all Alex said.

His gaze was still on Jack but not once did he look at Jack.

“Alex,” Jack breathed

“I’m so so sorry. The date was longer than expected and I had to run the rest of the way home and I’m just, I’m so sorry.” Jack apologized to Alex with remorseful eyes. Jack realized that all they seem to do now is say sorry and he hated that.

Inside Alex’s head it was running wild. He saw how regretful Jack was. He didn’t want Jack to be unhappy just because he couldn’t make it back here earlier. He shouldn’t have made Jack tried to come back earlier so they could spend time. Jack shouldn’t have had to run back and exhaust himself. Jack shouldn’t be the only one to work so hard just to be together. Alex shouldn’t burden Jack. Jack needs to be happy. Alex can’t make that happen right now.

“It’s okay.” Alex whispered apathetically.

“what?”

“It’s okay.” Alex repeated

“I forgive you. We should get to soundcheck.”

With that, Alex walked past Jack and headed for the venue.

~|~

“We are All Time Low and you guys have been fucking amazing!” All four of them yelled into the microphone.

The lights dimmed and the guys ran off the stage so Marianas could play.

“Oh my fuck tonight’s crowd is so large!” Rian panted, the guys clearly still coming down from their high.

“Yeah man! Tonight is packed and were so loud!” Danny chimed in.

Alex walked away, drowning the conversation out, and went towards the shower rooms.

When Alex finally emerged back to the dressing room everyone was making plans to go to the nearby bar and come back after the show and drink with the guys of Simple Plan and Marianas Trench.

“Alex! Where were you! We’re just about to ditch you. C’mon. Let’s go.” Colussy called.

Alex shook his head

“Nah man, I’m kind of tired. I’m heading back to the bus. See you guys later?”

“Sure man, suit yourself.” Colussy yelled as he started walking out with the rest of the crew.

Alex went back slowly to the bus knowing all the fans would still be inside the venue watching the rest of the show.

He plopped down on his bunk and just laid there to think. That was the worst thing he could ever do to himself.

The brown haired man couldn’t stop blaming himself for Jack’s stress. After all, Jack was only trying to make Alex happy.

His mind couldn’t take those thoughts any longer and he ran for the bathroom.

He knew he wouldn’t have any singular blades since he threw them all away because he didn’t want any triggers. He ended up tearing his razor apart and took out that blade. It wasn’t the best alternative but it will have to do.

This time, Alex ran the blade across his thighs. That way it would not be so visible or noticeable. Alex instantly felt more relieved.

He ran a few more lines until he felt satisfied with the red fluid gushing out of the gashes he had just created. He cleaned up and lied back down on his bunk and thought of what he just did. Thought of how disappointed Jack would be if he ever found out. He was disappointed with himself.

It was then that Josh’s words rang through his head.

when the guilt and realization wash over you, that is when the dependence come.