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You know those times where your brain completely dies and you have no idea what is going on or what you did?

She raised her hand showing me her palm, a motion telling me to stop. I obeyed only because of the astounding fear pouring from her eyes. She grabbed the edge of the bathroom vanity and pulled herself up, tears already streaming out. Clenching my jaw together, I took another step towards her.

"Stop!" she yelled, half sobbing the word.

"Please I just wanna help," I explained feeling my knees buckle beneath me. She shook her head vigorously in protest. I had no clue as to what she was trying to get through me. She had slipped on a puddle of water and I merely ran to her aid but she immediately denied my help. I hadn't even stepped into the bathroom before the profanities began, forcing me to stop moving.

Eloise sobbed harder. "Don't try, Zayn." I knew she was absolutely serious from the way she gritted her teeth, not even that - I knew she was serious because she even said my name. She would've rather had cussed at innocent strangers passing by our house than say my name.

Why was she so afraid? Lately there had been no uncomfort between us, no screaming and no prominent tears only conversations and occasional embraces when she felt cold. So why now, right when she was in trouble, why would her fear come crawling back?

The door started to close and I spread my hand over it to stop her. "Stop it," she hissed. "I wanna take a shower, please." Her tone softened.

Her continual sobs infected my mind and I wanted to simply fall down and cry with her, for her. "I love-"

"No Zayn please don't, don't say it."

I ignored her begging as it was extremely important for her to know the pain I felt inside. "I love you, Eloise." She didn't bother with a reply but I heard her murmur words under a breath, finally shutting the door creating barrier between us. A physical barrier didn't make much difference since there already was an emotional and mental wall separating us both.

Sliding down against the door to meet with the carpeted ground, I drowned myself in a sea of thoughts. Eloise wasn't the only one who was scared - I was bloody afraid myself. She used to adore me telling her how I felt about her now she pleaded for me not to. So many things had changed.

The screams reached the ceiling of the building and I was sure people from outside were able to hear it. Their yells, screams and shouts filled the entire venue, spilling into my ears, contaminating my smile making it wider than ever.

Someone patted my back before snaking their arm around my shoulders. I turned my head to see a grinning Louis admiring the insane crowd. It was hot in the building, sweat basically covered every inch of my skin and I was out of breath - but I wouldn't have asked for anything else. I had all I needed.

The boys and I exited the stage with the screams descending but never faded. At the back of the stage, sitting on a dark stool conversing animatedly with the other girls, was the girl who completed everything. She caught sigh of me and a smile spread over her face as she ran towards me. "You're early. You were amazing out there tonight, babe," she exclaimed.

"I'm sweaty," I pointed out.

Eloise winked at me. "Well...well...was that my doing? I'm sorry," she teased.

I laughed at her crude joke, softly cradling her chin working my index finger and thumb. She sighed carrying my stare as I brushed my thumb over her bottom lip. Eloise's eyelids fluttered close and I took my opportunity. Once our lips touched, there was no going back.

I completely forgot about the people in the same room who were most likely watching us kiss. Eagerly deepening the kiss, she locked her arms together behind my neck and I slid my left hand down to grip her waist. She moaned and I melted into the kiss, finally perfecting the rhythm. As my tongue slipped through my lips she pulled away, a smirk pasted upon her sweet face.

"No way Jose. You gotta say you love me."

I sighed. "I love you."

"Louder!"

My eyes darted around the room and everyone's stare shifted away, hoping I didn't catch their gazes. The boys would probably laugh at me for telling the moon whom I love but that didn't matter. "I love Eloise Harden with all my heart!" I yelled and with that, our mouths joined again.

I was instantly reminded of what Dr Humberstone had informed me when we visited her. Philophobia. The fear of love.