Direct Eye Contact
online dating.
There is something incredibly romantic about sharing a bad situation with someone else. There is something very lovely about actively hating something together. It brings a sense of closeness to those who really do not have any idea what a true relationship is, or how human relations are supposed to work. Hating something together is still togetherness. It's not perfect, but it's a start.
Sometimes my job calls me on my day off and I forget to answer. I'm showering. I'm busy, out of town, or driving. I'm sleeping, I'm sick. My phone was on silent. Sometimes my friends contact me and I tell them I didn't get it. Resend it. Ask me the same question I didn't feel like answering the first time around. I find emails to be an obnoxiously impersonal way to get out of writing a letter. This whole generation is obnoxiously impersonal.
I love you because we hate the same things. I love you because you get just as annoyed as I do with the stupidity of others. I love you because you get just as annoyed with me as I get annoyed with myself. I need a reality check sometimes. As a self-centered, semi-narcissistic person who hates herself but hates everyone else more, I need someone to tell me when I'm being too loud. Too obnoxious. Too stand-offish. Too strange and too defensive. Someone to tell me that it's okay to leave the house, someone to keep my wallet in check. I need rules and regulations because I've never been one to enjoy living under the authority of others. I need to be told that I'm too much to handle sometimes. You informing me is much better than you bottling up your frustrations and eventually leaving without telling me what I did wrong.
"It's not you, it's me" is a line that grows tiresome after a long while. The impersonal yet practical method of telling someone you don't love them anymore over various means of social networking has become something that's to be expected. Phasing someone out has become so easy that it's almost expected. You get tired of someone, you're interested in pursuing other relationships with other people, you don't want the same commitment they do, so you stop returning their text messages. You ignore their phone calls, you pretend you didn't see their emails and instant messages and anything else you once spoke to them on. It's so easy that it's expected. Getting bored with someone is so much easier when you have the option to do so.
I have this problem where I'll let strangers read the things I've written and judge me based on the way I form my sentences and the way I tell a story or express an emotion, but I get embarrassed if my own mother were to ask to read my writing. When my best friend asks me "So, what are you writing about?", sometimes I lie. I'm too embarrassed to try to explain the subject matter. I'm already weird enough and what if they think I'm weirder? I'm a very insecure person. I guess it comes with the territory.
I hate the snow and I hate driving and I hate when people act stupid. I hate being made fun of. I hate criticism. I'm incredibly guarded, and incredibly calculated, yet every time I speak I'm embarrassed of myself. You know this, and you know me, but do you really know me? I think you do. I don't really know myself, though.
Looking you in the eyes is the hardest thing I've ever done, and combined, we're very nervous people. You're always afraid that I'm upset, because I'm very serious and I'm always thinking one thousand steps ahead of where I'm currently standing. I'm thinking about things I shouldn't even be thinking about. I'm expecting you to get tired of me and leave me and phase me out, and I make you even angrier when you're already angry because I get very nervous and then I can't eat. I count the times you tell me you love me before you leave. If it's not three, I don't feel right. I have relationship OCD. I don't like change or deviation from routine. I'm sorry.
There is something so impersonal about this generation, and there is something so sad about being terrified of being eventually phased out because it is so easy to tell someone you love them without looking them in the eyes and it is so easy to tell someone you never loved them to begin with because now you don't have to be in the same room or same city or same state to do so. You can do it over the internet without dealing with the hysterics on the other line.. There is something so incredibly romantic about doing nothing with someone you love. I don't answer my phone when my job calls me to come in on my day off because I'd much rather spend every single moment I have in bed with you. I don't want to text my best friend back because I don't even have a best friend. I have acquaintances that I've built surface relationships with. You don't put up with my shit but at the same time, you put up with all of it. I love you a lot. I'm very sorry for being so strange.
Sometimes my job calls me on my day off and I forget to answer. I'm showering. I'm busy, out of town, or driving. I'm sleeping, I'm sick. My phone was on silent. Sometimes my friends contact me and I tell them I didn't get it. Resend it. Ask me the same question I didn't feel like answering the first time around. I find emails to be an obnoxiously impersonal way to get out of writing a letter. This whole generation is obnoxiously impersonal.
I love you because we hate the same things. I love you because you get just as annoyed as I do with the stupidity of others. I love you because you get just as annoyed with me as I get annoyed with myself. I need a reality check sometimes. As a self-centered, semi-narcissistic person who hates herself but hates everyone else more, I need someone to tell me when I'm being too loud. Too obnoxious. Too stand-offish. Too strange and too defensive. Someone to tell me that it's okay to leave the house, someone to keep my wallet in check. I need rules and regulations because I've never been one to enjoy living under the authority of others. I need to be told that I'm too much to handle sometimes. You informing me is much better than you bottling up your frustrations and eventually leaving without telling me what I did wrong.
"It's not you, it's me" is a line that grows tiresome after a long while. The impersonal yet practical method of telling someone you don't love them anymore over various means of social networking has become something that's to be expected. Phasing someone out has become so easy that it's almost expected. You get tired of someone, you're interested in pursuing other relationships with other people, you don't want the same commitment they do, so you stop returning their text messages. You ignore their phone calls, you pretend you didn't see their emails and instant messages and anything else you once spoke to them on. It's so easy that it's expected. Getting bored with someone is so much easier when you have the option to do so.
I have this problem where I'll let strangers read the things I've written and judge me based on the way I form my sentences and the way I tell a story or express an emotion, but I get embarrassed if my own mother were to ask to read my writing. When my best friend asks me "So, what are you writing about?", sometimes I lie. I'm too embarrassed to try to explain the subject matter. I'm already weird enough and what if they think I'm weirder? I'm a very insecure person. I guess it comes with the territory.
I hate the snow and I hate driving and I hate when people act stupid. I hate being made fun of. I hate criticism. I'm incredibly guarded, and incredibly calculated, yet every time I speak I'm embarrassed of myself. You know this, and you know me, but do you really know me? I think you do. I don't really know myself, though.
Looking you in the eyes is the hardest thing I've ever done, and combined, we're very nervous people. You're always afraid that I'm upset, because I'm very serious and I'm always thinking one thousand steps ahead of where I'm currently standing. I'm thinking about things I shouldn't even be thinking about. I'm expecting you to get tired of me and leave me and phase me out, and I make you even angrier when you're already angry because I get very nervous and then I can't eat. I count the times you tell me you love me before you leave. If it's not three, I don't feel right. I have relationship OCD. I don't like change or deviation from routine. I'm sorry.
There is something so impersonal about this generation, and there is something so sad about being terrified of being eventually phased out because it is so easy to tell someone you love them without looking them in the eyes and it is so easy to tell someone you never loved them to begin with because now you don't have to be in the same room or same city or same state to do so. You can do it over the internet without dealing with the hysterics on the other line.. There is something so incredibly romantic about doing nothing with someone you love. I don't answer my phone when my job calls me to come in on my day off because I'd much rather spend every single moment I have in bed with you. I don't want to text my best friend back because I don't even have a best friend. I have acquaintances that I've built surface relationships with. You don't put up with my shit but at the same time, you put up with all of it. I love you a lot. I'm very sorry for being so strange.