Messy Buns & Ponytails

Meeting the Ex

It was around 1 a.m. when Steven and I decided to sneak out and go for a high tide night swim. Steven loves to do dangerous stuff like that and lucky for him I do too. We have so much in common that sometimes I wonder if he is my long lost brother. Anyways on our way down to the beach I notice in the corner of my eyes some douches fighting. Automatically I thought it must be a whole fight club thing and I am probably most likely right.

Steven told me to ignore him, but as I said I love adventures and I am also a very nosey person. Then there was a little part of me that wanted to be a part of fight club. Once I get over there I notice Luke lying on the ground in pain, he looked pretty beat up to me. I look down at him wondering if I should help or not. “The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.” I quoted the movie and everybody looked at me weirdly.

I saw from the corner of my eye a guy’s fist aiming for my face so I quickly ducked, kicked him in the balls and while he crouched down I punched him across the face. He fell to the floor in pain and I was just so proud of myself. “Who’s next?” I said trying to act like I was some tough chick and it worked because everybody pretty much scrammed except for Luke who was still on the floor.

“Come on this is none of our business.” Steven tried to get me to ignore Luke, but I was starting to get a little worried myself.

“Lucas I know that your life has gone down a shithole, but there is no reason to beat yourself up about it. I mean half the things aren’t even your fault.” I was trying to comfort him, even though comforting people is definitely something that I had a hard time with.

“Yeah I know, but the one thing that I regret the most. The biggest mistake in my life was all my fault and I will never forgive myself for it.” He said trying to get up and I helped him up. I felt bad for Steven because I could feel how awkward this was for him, but I was trying to be the bigger person.

“What’s this big thing that you regret?” Apparently I was clueless because once I asked that question Steven was mad and didn’t want to talk to Lucas anymore. It was like he already knew the answer, but for some odd reason, maybe because it was late, I had no clue.

“Hurting you.” He said and my eyes widen. Yes I was shocked, but why was I because I do tend to leave an impression on people. I smiled at that thought, but then realized it wasn’t the time to smile so I stopped.

I grabbed Steven’s arm and we walked away. I was starting to feel awkward, so I thought this was the best decision. After walking a short distance I looked back at Luke and he was still on the floor, but I could have sworn I heard him crying. I was starting to feel sorry for him when I should still be mad at him or hate his guts.

Then I began to remember the great times I had with him last summer and began to feel something weird. Maybe I was wrong and I did have feelings for Luke at a point of time and I am kind of scared that right now they are crawling back up on me. I looked at Steven and smiled. I gave him a kiss and tried to forget about Luke because I was happy with Steven.

Steven I did eventually go into the water and it was extremely cold, but I didn’t care because I had Steven there to warm me up. We didn’t go very deep into the ocean because we aren’t stupid, were just not smart and there is a difference. “You are completely over him right?” Steven asked out of the blue.

“Of course I am. Plus if I weren’t there is no way I would dump you for him. His life is like shit right now.” It sounded mean, but it was true. I feel like Luke is acting like a selfish immature child and that is not very attractive.

“I just can’t believe you actually dated someone like that.” Steven said to shake off the conversation, but he struck a nerve. I let go of him and began to walk out of the ocean. Steven followed me probably confused.

“He was different last year and I know that the Luke I knew is still in him.” I was defending him now and I tried to stop myself, but I knew Steven was only saying that so he can put it in his head that I would never go back to Luke. Somehow I took it as an insult and he was telling me that I make poor decisions.

“You still like him just admit it.” Now I know what Steven was doing. He was trying to see if I did have feelings for him, but why?

“Do you want me to have feelings for him? What the hell is your problem? I have no feelings for Luke and if you want a reason to break up, you don’t need one just tell me.” I yelled at Steven and this was not our first fight, but our biggest fight. I couldn’t look at Steven right now so I walked back home, laid in my bed and just stared at the ceiling until I fell asleep.