Messy Buns & Ponytails

I Love You

After my long hike and my disappointing visit to the music shop I decided to relax on the beach and watch the sunset. This is something I haven’t done since I’ve come back. I knew this would be more romantic if Steven was here, but I just needed some alone time.

Unfortunately I wasn’t going to get some alone time because Luke decided to join me. I was a little uncomfortable, but he has been going through a lot so I didn’t want to be rude and make him leave. All though I am sure he would understand and he would because he still had feelings for me. I mean who could blame him I am pretty amazing.

“I’m sorry about everything.” He said and it surprised me. With his new attitude I didn’t know that he still knew how to apologize.

“Yeah you better be you almost broke up Steven and I.” I didn’t want to yell at him or blame him, but when I opened my mouth those words just came out of my mouth and I didn’t have a chance to stop myself.

“Listen I am done with the whole beating myself up and I have decided to be the Luke I was last summer. I have you to thank for that.” I am such a miracle worker. “I was wondering if you were willing to maybe try being friends.” He was on thin ice asking that question, but to be honest I wasn’t about to let him fall through and drown.

“Yeah I guess we can try it.” Luke smiled and I smiled back at him not knowing if it was a fake one or a real one.

We sat there in silence as we watched the sunset and I felt like I was cheating on Steven even though Luke and I are now just friends. Once the sun was completely down it was kind of awkward, so I scooped up some sand and threw it at him. I knew this would probably head down a bad road, but I didn’t care.

“Oh it is so on.” He grabbed some sand and I quickly got up and began to run away, but he hit me anyways.

I started a war of sand throwing. I eventually ran in the water and surrendered, but he followed me in a hit me one more time. I couldn’t believe how much fun I was having. Earlier today I was mad at Luke and now I am having a great time with him. Am I crazy because I don’t think this is a very good sign for me?

As we walked out of the water I tripped over a stupid rock, but Luke caught me. Now he was holding me by the waist and our bodies were extremely close. I could feel his breath on me and I was looking straight into his eyes. I was moving closer in for a kiss, but I stopped myself before I made that mistake.

“Sorry I should get back home because I am sure my boyfriend Steven is wondering where I am.” I don’t know why I phrased it like that because Luke already knew Steven was my boyfriend was. I guess I was nervous and a little in shock.

When I got back home I ran up stairs to find Jessica and avoided Steven. I could tell Steven was behind me when I reached Jessica’s room so I quickly opened the door and shut it in his face. I locked the door so he wouldn’t come in and I know this will cause questions later, but maybe if we have sex he will completely forget about it.

Jessica sat up from her bed with a confused look on her face. When I caught my breath I sat down next to her trying to think how I should tell her this. I know it doesn’t matter, but would it sound better if I told her that Luke leaned in to kiss me or we both did.

“I almost kissed Luke.” I blurted out.

“Oh my gosh, how the hell did this happen?” Jessica asked interested because of her love for drama.

“Well we were having a sand fight and after washing up in the ocean I tripped on a rock. He caught me and I looked right in his eyes. I know biggest mistake ever anyways I got caught up in the moment, but I stopped myself before anything happened.” I explained and then I had the thought of Steven listening to our conversation from the other side of the door. I just had to hope he wasn’t.

“You had a sand fight without me?” That was all that Jessica got out of that.

“Yes and I am sorry, but the moment was a little awkward, so I improvised. And as I said before it got out of control.” I could still hear the panic in my voice.

“Listen nothing actually happened, so you don’t have to tell Steven and you don’t have to feel guilty. It’s not like you have feelings for Luke right?” She looked at me to make sure she was right and I nodded my head.

I wasn’t sure if she was right though because I almost kissed Luke and that means I must have been feeling something to want to kiss him. But I had to forget about it and plus Jessica is right. We didn’t actually kiss so there is nothing to really worry about.

After reassuring myself I went to find Steven. I found him on the couch watching TV with Chad and I couldn’t help smile when he looked at me. He got up and gave me a peck on the lips and then I gave him a more passionate kiss. “I’ve missed you where have you been all day?” He asked and Luke’s image came up in my head.

“Well I went to see an old friend, but he is out of town and on my way back home I sat at the beach to watch the sunset.” It was the truth, but with some of the details left out.

“Should have called me, so I could have joined you.” I wish I did because if I did the whole Luke situation would have never happened and I wouldn’t have to keep thinking about it.

“I know I should have and you and I are having a picnic tomorrow on the beach and we will watch the sunset together.” I have been trying to be more romantic and I believe that is something romantic people like to do.

“It’s a date.” He gave me a kiss on the forehead and began to walk back to the couch.

“Steven,” I called after him and he turned to face me, “I love you.” He smiled and said those words back to me. That was a big moment for me because I believe that was the first time I have said that to Steven even though he has said it to me a million times. Wow I am actually in love with someone. I never saw this day coming.