Jeah, Whatever

[Natalie]

I was all packed up and ready to go to Gainesville. My father had bought me a new Volvo SUV down in Florida that would be waiting for me to drive and my mother had everything already moved but a week’s worth of clothes. I sat in my apartment for the last full day I would be in it.

I was a little overwhelmed.

This apartment was my first home away from Yale and without my parents. This was the apartment I dreamed of having since I was sixteen. The Upper East Side. It was a posh apartment, full of so many memories. Memories of moving away completely from the mess that was made with my engagement and the memories of coming in, completely gone and sleeping with other men.

Maybe it was a good thing that I was leaving.

I looked at the time on my phone. 8:45. Ryan would just be getting out of swim practice and showering before going to his favorite place for breakfast.

I didn’t know what to do with myself. I didn’t have work and everything was settled for me to go to work in Jacksonville, my father even already found my replacement.

Not wanting to sit in my apartment, feeling bored and useless, I put on a scarf, beret and my jacket and went out to my favorite cafe on 5th Avenue.

I had just gotten my bagel and coffee to sit with when I heard a familiar voice say my name.

I looked up at the man that I once threw a three-carat diamond ring at. His eyes were just as green as I remembered, blonde hair combed to the side and he wore a suit, ready for a day at Wall Street.

“Andrew,” I said a little surprised.

“God, Natalie, it’s been awhile, how are things?” He asked. I stared at him harshly in the eyes, was he really asking me this?

“Seriously?” I voiced coldly, I saw him look down.

“I know, and I’m sorry, I have no business asking how you are but I just, I don’t know, you’re here, I’m seeing you,” he said very unsure of what to say, caught off guard by my lack of kindness.

How can I be kind to someone who cheated on me with another girl?

“I heard you’re dating an Olympian,” he said, trying to start conversation, I sighed and decided to play along.

“Yes, I am, I’m actually moving to Florida tomorrow,” I informed Andrew, he was slightly taken aback.

“Really? But you’re where you always wanted to be, you literally got everything you ever talked about with me, you’re really going to leave it?” He was more surprised than ever.

“Things change,” I shrugged. I was leaving it all behind but I didn’t want him to see that I was a little upset about it all.

“But you are happy, aren’t you?” He asked, taking a seat at my table. I rested my chin on my hands and smiled.

“I really am. Ryan is a great guy,” I shared. I couldn’t help but smile when I talked about Ryan.

“That’s great, you found someone you deserved,” he said, feeling ashamed of what he had down to me. I couldn’t help but feel a little sympathy for him.

“Hey, if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have met Ryan,” I said, giving his hand a small squeeze, he looked up at me and smiled.

“I’m so sorry, Natalie,” I could tell he truly meant it.

“I am too, but it really is for the best that we didn’t work out,” I promised him.

We sat together and talked a little more, catching up to learn what we were doing with our lives. Andrew was becoming more and more successful and was once more engaged. That pained me a little bit but I had to remember that it’s okay that I was no longer his girl, that I had someone waiting for me in Gainesville.

Andrew had asked to walk me back to my building and I decided to let him. We talked the whole way back and I actually felt like I had gotten the closer I had never received when we broke everything off. I couldn’t help but be thankful that I ran into him on the day before I left the city for a while.

“Promise me something, Natalie, promise me you won’t forget your dreams and who you are for this guy,” Andrew said when we reached my building, I turned my head to the side, trying to figure out where he was going with this.

“Andrew, I’m still me,” I laughed a little.

“No, promise me you won’t give up all you are. You’re an ambitious girl with big aspirations, you are seriously the next Hillary Clinton only smokin hot and not political. Promise me you will still be that girl you wanted to be since we were 17, don’t trade your dreams for anyone,” he said to me, serious.

I was still going to be that ambitious 20 year old, I just had a slight shift in the road that I was more than okay with.

“I’m not going to lose sight of her, Andrew, I promise,” I smiled. Andrew looked at me in the eyes softly and pulled my hair away that had blown into my face. He gave me a delicate kiss on the cheek before he walked away. I knew this would be the last time I would see him again.

And I knew that I couldn’t wait for the morning to come for me to be in Gainesville with my new love.

I woke up bright and early, ready to catch the flight my father had planned for me on our private plane. My family (minus Andrea who was back at school) had met me at the JFK to say goodbye and made me promise that I would be back for Easter. My mother teared up a little bit and my father pulled me into a hug for the first time in years, I took in the feelings that they were having.

I boarded the plane with my small carry-on luggage and looked out the window, I was ready to leave New York, I was ready to go and be with Ryan.

Landing in Florida, I found my towncar driver who would be taking me to my apartment, I turned my phone on and saw I had no messages from Ryan, which was weird. I texted him, letting him know that I had landed and I couldn’t wait to see him as I was driven to my apartment.

In the driveway of my house, I saw my SUV and shook my head a little bit at how spoiled I was by my father. He may be a hard ass often but he certainly loved his daughters. Opening my front door, I felt the cloud of Chanel lingering as my mothers decor was certainly in tact.

My living room was furnished with modern, but expensive furniture and a huge flat screen TV. The kitchen had sterling silver appliances with fresh marble countertops. I went upstairs to my office and saw a huge executive desk with a brand new iMac on the desk. A room away was a simple guest bedroom and just down the hall was my room where a lovely four post bed with a down comforter awaited me.

The walls were painted Tiffany blue, my favorite. I wondered to my bathroom and saw a huge garden tub and a shower against the wall, the woman had really outdone herself and all in two weeks.

My pictures were all put into place as well, and each room had character of my family and also a splash of who I was. I couldn’t help but feel thankful that my mother actually knew me more than I thought.

I looked to my phone once more; no news from Ryan. I didn’t want to get concerned but I knew he was done with training for the day and that he promised to be over here as soon as he could.

I sat in my kitchen and made a pot of coffee. I opened my macbook pro and began responding to emails, corresponding with the people I would be working with in Jacksonville starting tomorrow.

By the time I was done, it was almost five pm. Where the hell was Ryan?

Deciding not to wait any longer, I turned to my favorites and clicked his name, I listened to it ring when there was a hard knock at my door. I hung up and saw that Ryan was finally here, and he didn’t look happy.

“Ryan, I was worried,” I said, he pushed past me and made his way into my kitchen, slamming down a paper.

“What the hell is this?” He asked coldly, I looked at the paper and saw that pictures had been taken of me and Andrew. One particularly of him kissing my cheek.

“Ryan, this is nothing,” I said evenly. He looked me dead in the eyes.

“I told you I loved you, and you cheated on me? You know how much that hurts, Natalie, why the hell did you do it?” He was clearly pissed off but also hurt.

“Well if you would just let me explain you would know I didn’t cheat on you!” I was losing my patience.

“I don’t tend to believe the media, but there’s a picture, what more damn proof do I need, who the hell is this guy?!” He yelled, I stepped back a little bit.

“It’s my ex-fiance Andrew, we ran into each other!” I snapped, telling him the full story.

“So you just let your cheating ex come back in your life and kiss you?! What the fuck Natalie, do you let every guy get up close in personal?!” He was even angrier after I explained.

“Are you serious right now, Ryan? Like, are you being for real?! Do you really think I would tell you I loved you, leave my life in New York to move to a city I don’t necessarily care for, just to be kissed on the cheek by a man that ruined my life for years, you really think that?! That’s really what you think of me?!” I said pissed off, ready to stand my ground firmly.

Ryan got really close to me, he had me pinned against the countertop, causing me to get a little afraid. I had never seen him be aggressive. I certainly wasn’t weak but he was definitely way stronger than me. I clenched my fists as my adrenaline kicked in, ready for whatever was about to go down.

Ryan crashed his lips roughly onto mine. Lifting me so I could sit on the countertop. He unzipped my dress that I was wearing and allowed it to fall down to my waist. Figuring that something physical would happen when he arrived, I really didn’t bother to wear a bra, knowing that it would just be in the way when this moment occurred.

“Gosh, Natalie, you’re so fucking sexy,” he groaned, giving my breasts a squeeze, then causing me to moan. I rested my head on his shoulder as he kissed me everywhere he could, nibbling in places that he knew would turn me on.

“Fuck, Ryan, just, ugh,” I breathed out as he spread my legs slightly apart. I took his athletic shorts off with my toes, trying to give him a hint to go already.

“Patience, Nat,” he grinned, knowing he could control this situation.

He moved his hands up my thighs and lightly rubbed me.

“Someone’s wet,” he smirked at me, “oh someone’s very turned on,” he laughed that he was able to taunt me. I dug my nails into his back.

Ryan bent down and put his head in between my legs and slowly entered me with his tongue, I felt him moan little bit and slowly pull out.

“Ryan, I hate you,” I panted out, he grinned at me and roughly pushed himself inside of me, I screamed.

“No, baby, you love me, and I’m going to remind you just how much you do,” he said as he thrusted hard and fast inside me. I leaned on my hands and threw my head back.

My countertop was at least good for something.

Ryan thrusted into me, hard and fast, not missing a beat, hitting all the right spots, causing me to call out his name multiple times, we both hit our peaks and Ryan slowly rode it out before pulling me into a passionate, soft kiss.

“I love you, Natalie,” he said.

I grabbed his face and kissed him once more.

“I love you too, Ry,” I smiled.

“Living close means great make-up sex, no more phone fights and hang ups,” he grinned. I zipped my dress back up and rolled my eyes.

Slipping off my countertop, I grabbed a sponge to wipe down the counter, I felt Ryan press himself against my back.

“It’s going to be so much fun,” he kissed my neck. I turned around and put my arms around him.

“Promise me, Ry, promise me that you will always know I would never cheat on you and when I say I’m in, I mean it,” I said seriously, he lightly kissed my forehead.

“Promise me that you’ll tell me these things and keep me grounded,” he said back, I kissed him softly on the cheek.

Ryan pulled me into a hug. Day one in Florida, here’s to more to come.