Into the Wild...Boyz

“I don’t know, dude”, said Steve-O. He warily regarded the lion stalking back and forth before him. Good thing there was a fence between them but even that looked a little shabby. They had just spent two days filming at a pretty nice aquarium and now they currently were at a pretty sketchy looking zoo and Jeff was doing his best to sell Steve-O on the idea of getting on the lion’s back and riding it around the beast’s enclosure.

“Just take a couple minutes to think about it”, said Jeff. “I want you comfortable with this and I can tell you’re kind of not but think how gnarly it’d be to ride a lion. Not many people can say they’ve done that, you know?”

“Yeah and the people that have done it probably didn’t live to tell about it either.”

“Don’t think like that. I don’t want you to be negative about this. Be positive. You can do this. I believe in you.”

“I believe in me too. I also believe that I don’t want to be that lion’s breakfast.” Steve-O let out a nervous laugh.

“I bet the chicks’ll dig it though. Let’s get a chick’s opinion on it.” Jeff turned his attention to Darcie who was sitting on a bench not too far from them. She had her earbuds in and was doodling on the back of one of her production sheets, totally obviously to the fact that Jeff was standing over her until she noticed his shadow. She took her earbuds out and looked up at him.

“Are we ready to film?”

“Not yet but we could use your expert female opinion though. Uh, whatcha drawing there?”

“Oh nothing too important.”

Jeff sat down next to her to get a better look at the picture and he laughed. “Looks like she’s already sealed your fate, O.”

“What?” Steve-O blanched a bit as he came closer to the two of them and saw the picture. “Is that lion chewing on my leg?”

Darcie laughed, “No, you’ve fallen off that’s all. Nothing’s eating you.”

“Although the lion looks like he’s drooling a little at the sight of you falling off”, added Jeff with a smirk.

“Yeah, uh, get someone else to do this, Jeff. I’m serious, dude. I don’t like this idea. Have Knoxville do it.”

“Have Knoxville do what?” asked Johnny as he joined them.

“You wanna ride a lion?” asked Jeff. “Steve-O’s kind of uncomfortable with the idea for some reason.”

“Don’t make me sound like a wuss, Jeff. That’s not cool”, said Steve-O, in his own defense.

“Yeah sure, I’ll do it”, said Johnny. He didn’t even have to give it a second thought.

“Cool”, replied Jeff as he hopped up from the bench and took Johnny over to one of the zookeepers so they could discuss some basic safety tips. Darcie resumed work on her little drawing and didn’t even notice that Steve-O had sat down next to her.

“I still say that lion’s trying to eat my leg, you know.” Darcie just gave him a small smile. “I didn’t know you could draw either.”

“Graduated college with a degree in graphic arts”, said Darcie as she continued to shade bits and pieces of her drawing.

“I graduated clown college”, replied Steve-O. Darcie laughed at that one. “Seriously. I went to Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Clown College.” He smiled. “Why’s that funny?”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Darcie playfully nudged his shoulder with hers.

“So can I have that drawing?”

“Well, if you must”, she replied and handed him the piece of paper. He carefully folded it and put it in his pocket.

“So I was thinking, when we get back home, we should totally do something.”

“Like what?”

Steve-O was about to reply when Chris came running up to them, giggling like a school girl, or school boy, in his own right. “You guys, you guys! You’ve got to see this!” He pulled both of them off of the bench. “Johnny’s really riding that lion. Well, at least he’s trying to but I’m pretty sure he’s going to lose a limb trying. But come on, you’ve got to see it!” He laughed as he led the two over to the cage that Johnny was in.

Darcie’s heart leapt into her throat as she watched Johnny Knoxville attempt to ride a lion. Her clipboard that held that day’s filming schedule was tucked under her arm as she covered her eyes but looked through the cracks of her fingers at the scene. She was beginning to think her boss was borderline certifiable and so was Johnny since he agreed to do such a crazy stunt. No wonder they got along so well. She audibly breathed a sigh of relief when Johnny and one of the caretakers of the Luhan Zoo came out of the lion’s den, so to speak. She never heard of a zoo letting anyone just walk in, pay a price of admission and let guests be so hands on—without losing one in the process.

“Are you okay over there, Darcie?” asked Rick. He had his camera aimed at her as she was still covering her eyes.

“I’m fine”, she said as she let her hands drop from her face. “Hey now, don’t point the camera at me.”

“Why not? Jeff said to film reactions.”

“Yeah reactions of other people not me, I’m sure. Sheesh.” She flashed an embarrassed smile at the camera then took her clipboard from underneath her arm and hid behind it.

“If you’re going to continue working with us you really can’t be camera shy”, said Pontius, “but don’t worry, you’ll learn.” He laughed. “Knox, that was bad ass, by the way!” Chris sighed. “I wanna be like him when I grow up.”

“Don’t we all, dude. Don’t we all”, said Steve-O with a laugh.

“Don’t worry, guys”, said Darcie as she scanned her clipboard. “You can still one up him. We’re getting ready to go play with some sea wolves. Besides, you got some pretty good stuff the other day with that elk, Steve.”

“Oh, dude, don’t even mention that damn thing. I swear I’m scarred for life because of it.”

“I saw the footage”, said Chris. “You looked pretty comfortable getting humped.”

“Well that’s because it’s been awhile.”

“Hey now”, said Johnny. “There’s a lady present, fellas.”

“What lady where?” asked Chris. “Oh wait, were you talking about Darcie? How many times has she seen us naked?”

“Too many!” exclaimed Darcie. “And not by choice either. Now who’s scarred for life?”

“Well you haven’t quit the job yet so you’re obviously not that scarred”, said Johnny.

“We need to try harder”, Steve-O laughed.