Stereotype

Excessive warmth welcomed them when they entered the house. After complaining that the heating was set too high for Fall, Frank got rid of his jacket and hoodie and threw them haphazardly on the couch.

"Oh well, perfect excuse to still wear all the shirts I can't wear anywhere else." He shrugged. "Mom...Gerard and I will be in my room, give us at least an hour before bringing food."

"Why is that?"

"We just have a pending convo."

"Is everything alright?" Linda asked, still thinking something was off about her son.

Frank puffed and rolled his eyes. "Yes, mom, told you everything's fine. I'm just a little tired, that's all."

"Okay, then." She kissed his cheek. "Go."

Once in the room, Frank knocked the plushies off his bed and fell on it unceremoniously; hair spread over the zebra duvet and a content smile on his lips.

Gerard observed him while he took off his own jacket. That house was definitely too hot for Fall. "Comfy?"

"Mmm...I love my bed, it relaxes me in seconds," Frank answered, stretching before scooting over to one side. "Come join me! I like to be lying down while I talk about my life, as if I was doing therapy. However, I don't like the other person to be standing, or sitting down like a therapist. Does that make sense?"

Gerard laughed and lay down next to Frank. "I guess so... Hey! I'd only sat on it the other times, but you're right, this bed is too fucking comfy. I hope I don't fall asleep."

"Best bed ever! But you better not fall asleep while I'm telling you about myself or I'll jump on your abdomen. Capisce?"

Frank's threat made Gerard turn to him -face red from containing the laughter- and raise a hand. "Si, si, no violence! Won't sleep, promise. I just wanted to know what you meant when you said I 'get it,' though. You don't have to go into any personal details if you don't-"

"No, I don't mind. It's not like I'll go into much detail or tell you the whole story of my life, but I want you to know something that has to do with how I feel about myself."

"Oh. You mean like...stuff Fandi gives you shit for?" Gerard inquired. It was hard to find the right way to formulate certain questions. He knew there were words that could be offensive to some people even if you didn't use them with any bad intention.

Frank nodded with an understanding smile. "Just...while I talk, you can ask me anything, okay? I know what you're thinking, but you'll never offend me 'cause I know you'd never mean to."

Gerard returned the smile then. "Okay."

"Uh...how to start," Frank doubted. He didn't want to make the story too long, although he knew he would end up speaking a lot either way. It wasn't so much about the memory he was about to share, but what resulted from it. "Until I was...ten or eleven, I had a lot of friends. Boys and girls, mostly from school. Then suddenly...or I guess it wasn't that sudden and I just didn't notice much until it got too obvious, some of my friends started to act weird around me..."

"Weird how?" Gerard asked.

"Like...at first, it was mostly them whispering to each other while looking at me and laughing. Then they'd tell jokes I was never part of and I couldn't understand. Then it was the name-calling. You know, the usual epithets. Pansy, faggot..."

"Yeah..."

"The thing is...I didn't know why, I didn't know where it came from. I was barely twelve and pretty innocent. It's not like I wore any girl clothes back then, and I didn't think I'd changed at all. So I couldn't understand why those kids that had been my friends for years were suddenly acting like that." Frank's eyes were fixed on the ceiling as he spoke, his pupils following the glow-in-the-dark stars one by one. He didn't like to let things from the past affect him. He needed some distraction so his mind wouldn't be fully on it. Once he ran out of stars, he surveyed all of his posters.

Even though they weren't looking at each other, Gerard assented. It was more as if to tell himself that he understood that kind of confusion Frank was describing. "It's always so weird -in general- when people react to some change we didn't realise we went through. Like...while we're growing up, some changes are not noticeable to us, but they are to others."

"Yeah! It's like...I live with myself all the time, so how could I notice the small changes?" Frank completed the idea. "But...well, when some of those friends started to drift away, like they didn't want to be associated with me anymore, that's when I felt that I had the right to know. Because I'd tried asking them, but they'd only laugh."

"But what about the rest of them, the ones who didn't make fun of you?"

"Those were the girls of the group, and they just shrugged when I'd ask. Acted like they didn't know."

"Marina too? 'Cause she was in that group, right?" Gerard had only talked to Marina a couple of times, but she didn't seem like someone who would go along with bullshit like that without letting Frank know what was going on. She was very protective of him. Then again, maybe some things were different three years ago?

"Yeah, she was. She's the one I went to for answers, actually. Got her alone and asked her what was wrong with me, what I'd done to make some of our friends laugh at me and then leave. She told me I'd done nothing wrong, but at first she didn't seem to believe that I really didn't know the answer. When I just kept blinking dumbly at her, she knew I was serious." Frank chuckled. Marina had actually described his face to him later.

"And how did she explain it to you? I mean...you were both so young and it wasn't easy..."

"She didn't explain it. Said she didn't know how, so she'd show me instead."

"Show you?"

"Aha. Didn't tell me how, though, said I'd see when it was done."

Gerard frowned, glancing at Frank sideways. "I have no idea what she could've meant."

"Oh, me neither at the moment!" The boy waved around with one hand. "So, like a week after that, we were in my room and she opened her notebook and said she had a video to show me. It'd been one of the few friends I had left's birthday some days ago, and Marina had filmed me during the party. Without me knowing. She hid the camera or something."

"Wow. I think I know where she was going with that..." the older trailed off, once again afraid of using the wrong words.

Frank continued. "She said, 'I'm not sure it'll work. Just take a look, maybe this way you can see what others see. It's nothing bad, though, those kids are idiots.' And I watched it..."

"And did you notice anything?"

"Hell, yes. It was a revelation, I'm not shitting you. I'm not gonna go into details 'cause well...it's just weird to describe myself and you surely can see all I saw in that video. It's probably even more noticeable now." Frank giggled as he remembered a second video he'd requested from Marina a few months ago. To compare. "But my reaction was basically: 'Oh.my.God. I'm like those stereotypical, fictional gay guys on TV, ain't I? Now I get it!' And Marina was like, 'Uh...yeah, kinda.'"

The last thing Gerard intended to do is make fun of Frank; but he couldn't help laughing at the way he narrated some parts, acting out the dialogs and gesturing wildly. "You really had no clue, did you?"

"I was completely clueless." Frank grinned. "Many people think it's an act or like...an exaggeration. Even my mom thought so, she still does for moments. But it's not. It was kind of a shock when I saw myself back then but just because, in my mind, I'd always been the same way. I hadn't changed."

"Didn't it uh...scare you? I mean...don't take me wrong, you didn't discover anything bad. But at that age..."

Frank shook his head. He thought it was sweet how much Gerard hesitated, how respectful he was. "Don't worry, I know what you mean. No, it just...surprised me. But on the other hand, it felt good to finally understand. When Marina asked me what I was going to do about it, I said 'nothing'. I wouldn't force myself to be something I wasn't, I had nothing to change. At that moment I realized I liked myself the way I was, and if other people didn't, it was their problem and not mine."

"Those were some very brave thoughts for a twelve-year old. I admire you," Gerard commented, slightly teary-eyed.

Frank blinked rapidly, wishing his own tears to stay in. "Thank you. I'm so glad I didn't get scared that day, that I never felt like hiding anything."

The room went silent then, the two boys sniffing once in a while. It wasn't an awkward silence, they simply needed the pause. Frank was pondering whether there was something else he wanted Gerard to know. Gerard had more questions that had been wandering inside his mind, and it appeared to be a good moment to ask them.

"Just curious..." Having Frank's attention, he took a deep breath and went for it. "When did you start...wearing some girl clothes?"

Frank had known the question was coming, and he didn't mind it at all. It was only logical that Gerard would eventually ask, although he was glad he'd shown no urgency to know as soon as they met. "Oh, I'd always loved to try on my mom's clothes or play with her make-up, since I was four or five..."

"I don't think it's weird at that age, though," Gerard noted. "Pretty sure I did it too."

"I know, I don't think my mom thought much of it back then. It's just that I never stopped. I think I actually did it more often as I grew up. I wouldn't even try to be sneaky. I liked to model the clothes for my family." He laughed at the memories. "Imagine Ray's face!"

"Oh my God..."

"He would tell our mom, 'Does he know he's a boy? You should remind him.' It was fun."

"I bet!"

"I quit for a while when I overheard my mom tell Marina's that she didn't think it was normal anymore for me to play with her clothes at eleven," Frank went on. "But after the revelation that day, I decided that I had to do what I felt. That included wearing whatever clothes I liked, whether they were meant for men or women. Fuck it. I wanted my own clothes, though."

"Your mom's not too happy about it, is she? I heard you say you can only wear these kind of shirts at home..." Gerard pointed at Frank's feminine garment.

"She's mostly afraid of people's reaction in the street, that I could get beaten up or something like that 'cause I'm too obvious. I'm pretty sure she still thinks I exaggerate on purpose. Apart from the clothes issue, she's always asking me if I can't try to 'tone it down a little bit.'"

"Tone down what, exactly?"

"I don't know...my girliness? She's completely fine with me being gay, though, even if I've never exactly came out..." Frank stopped when he heard Gerard's muffled giggles and punched him in the shoulder. "Oh, you're so fucking predictable!"

The scolded boy rubbed the spot that had received the impact, looking apologetic. "I'm sorry, it's just that...uh..."

"It's obvious?"

"Kinda?" Gerard screwed his eyes shut, waiting for a new punch.

"Well, that's a misconception, really." Frank sounded mildly irritated, but didn't hit him this time. "To think all girly guys and masculine girls are gay, I mean. It might be so in a lot of cases, but not all. Sexuality is a completely separate thing."

"I understand that. I'm really sorry, Frankie. I didn't want to offend you, I just didn't think."

"I'm not mad at you, Gerard. I'm aware that's the general idea most people have, not your fault. It's the lack of correct information that annoys me."

"No, it is my fault too 'cause I could have tried to inform myself more, or think before speaking *-laughing, in this case," Gerard admitted, then nearly whispered. "So, you like girls?"

Frank burst out laughing. "Nah, I don't think so. I'm an stereotype all around, baby! Well, I've never been attracted to anyone...realistic, but at least when it comes to musicians and actors, guys have my eyes' exclusivity!"

Gerard sat up, glaring down at Frank with his hands on his hips. "Oh! You made me feel like shit and I was right, just like your mom?"

"Shut up! The fact that I'm gay doesn't change anything!" Frank voiced playfully. He did get Gerard's point and his reaction -even if not completely serious. The way the conversation had gone did make it kind of funny; like he had acted offended when he had no personal reason to. "You were right about me, but you just can't assume automatically, that's the problem. Most people see a very feminine guy and think he's gay. However, what you're seeing could be a girl who was born in a male body but hasn't dared or can't express it physically yet. Like...by wearing fitting clothes or changing her body. And she could like girls anyway. That's only one example, of course. It could also just be a femme straight boy. The point is: a person's...manners or gestures don't necessarily relate to their sexuality. Whether or not their gender agrees with the sex they were born with tells you nothing about their sexuality either. Different things. Is it clear? 'Cause I know I tend to ramble when I talk about certain subjects..."

"Completely clear! Sometimes you don't take conscience of how little you know about something until you make an idiot out of yourself by saying something ignorant." Gerard covered his face with his hands, truly embarrassed. "Fuck."

Frank forced Gerard's hands away and held them, waiting for the boy to look at him. "Gerard. I told you it's alright. You just hadn't given it enough thought, that's all. I'm sorry too if sounded like I was snapping at you. You can ask me whatever else you need to know."

"Okay. Uh...I do want to ask you something, but it's more...personal. I...fuck. I know you told me I wouldn't offend you but-"

"And I meant it, shoot."

Gerard remained uncertain. Maybe he was going too far. Maybe one month wasn't long enough for him to ask so many questions. But as Frank's friend, there were things he wanted to know to make sure he was treating him correctly. "You...you know the example you just gave? Thew first one."

"Yeah? Come on, tell me. It's okay."

"Is that...your case?"

"You mean...if I'm a girl who was born in a boy's body?"

"Yeah..."

"Oh...no. Not exactly. I mean, I've never felt like I was born in the wrong body, that's something I'm pretty sure about. There's nothing I want to change physically. But...I don't know. When my family asks, I've always said that I don't want to be a girl, that I'm fine being a boy. And that's mostly correct except...I'm not that sure I consider myself a boy either. Male pronouns are fine, it's what I'm used to and it doesn't feel weird. But I wouldn't mind someone using feminine ones as long as they don't mean it as an insult like the assholes at school. I know it'll maybe make no sense to you but it's like...mentally, I'm both girl and boy. Or none. I don't even know." Frank shrugged unconcernedly.

"Maybe what they call 'genderqueer'?"

"Maybe? I really don't have a word for myself. Not sure I want one."

"I think you're a Frankie Iero," Gerard said earnestly, looking Frank in the eye. "Yep. That's what you are. Frankie Ieros are awesome beings, I heard."

"Oh. I like that. I think it will be my answer the next time someone asks me my gender. Not boy, nor girl. I'm a Frankie Iero." He nodded satisfied. "Gotta say that even though I don't know what the name implies, I've heard Gerard Ways are pretty awesome themselves."

"Well, I know Gerard Ways are hungry creatures. This one thinks we should go downstairs and beg your mom for that food you told her to postpone," Gerard proposed.

"That's certainly something both Frankie Ieros and Gerard Ways have in common then!"

Without any other word, the two jumped out of the bed and threw themselves at the door to open it. At the top of the stairs, they challenged each other to a race for the kitchen, stumbling along the steps as Frank elbowed Gerard to get ahead. The dirty trick got him the victory. He entered the kitchen singing, "I am the champion, my friend!" loudly, Gerard hot on his heels screaming that it was unfair.

Linda shook her head amused and continued to put cookies into a plate as she muttered something about teenagers being worse than toddlers.