Guides for the Pre-Engagement Life

"Mom, listen, I'm not-"
"-Pumpkin, you've just turned 22, and you still have your whole life ahead of you. And you know very well that you Father is going to be a bit restless from hearing this."
"Yeah, I know."
"Please wait until you at least turn 25 to get married. At least by then you'll know what you really want in life and accomplished things."
"I'm not engaged yet!"
"Huh? But it's all over the news?"
"Oh my God, I thought it ended!"

One Year Later...

Beijing was amazing, I was there for two weeks and cheered Michael Phelps on when he won his eighth Gold medal, and though it was against the rules, he snuck me into the Olympic village a few times too, but he was the mischievous one who snuck out to my hotel room. When he finished everything, he and I became full time tourists and explored the city with his Mom and Sisters, although he spent most of his time with me. Well, because we were going to be apart for more than a month, it was probably two to three months top, because the media, future endorsers and sponsors were piling up his schedules.
But that was overseas.

Back home was hell.
One year on since Michael thought it was amusing to tell the world that he was going to propose during the four year gap, the media continued to eat me up bit by bit, and even walking outside became a crime. I was once criticized for wearing a badly patterned pair of pyjama pants, are you kidding me?
I faced negative comments on a daily basis from these girls who were in love with Michael, they attacked me through their blogs or comments, and it was troublesome when I got to work because co-workers read the blogs while they searched for news online.
However, the major criticism was the fact that Michael and I haven't even moved in with each other yet.
Oh, and the fact that we don't even live in the same State!
Here was our problem in the relationship: it suddenly turned in a long distance one.
I moved to New York a week after he finally returned home from his millions of commitments that turned him into the busiest boyfriend, and he stayed in Ann Arbor for a few weeks before he too moved and followed his Coach, Bob Bowman, back to Baltimore, Maryland. My best friend, Lia, and her boyfriend, Derek, moved there too, so the three important people of my life were in the same State, and I was all by my lonesome self in New York.

It wasn't helpful when I had to live with an aspiring artist who stayed up late at night doing work while I tried to sleep, and when I went to work, he was snoring and leaving crap all over the place. I lived with him because he was Fulton's son and he happily agreed to accommodate me so I could help him pay half his rent and for his Father to stop nagging him to find a proper job.
Michael didn't like the idea that I shared an apartment with a single man, but there was no other choice. I couldn't afford an apartment on my starter wage. He told me that he'd pay for it, and that was a big no-no! Considering that people had their eye watching me like a hawk, even going shopping and seeing the Olympian pay instead of me had me hated on.
There was no pleasing them.
They definitely became a pain in the ass.

"Babe, you should come to Baltimore," Michael sighed while we stared at each other through the computer screen. It became our new way of seeing each other. "How different would it be from New York?"
"I owe Fulton, I mean, I stayed behind in Ann Arbor after graduation, and you knew that Fulton wanted me to work here. He only put up with me because he knew I wouldn't let him down," I explained while drying my hair with the towel. "Besides, I'm sure you're having fun without me around. You get your bachelor pad to yourself with Herman as your wingman."
"No, not really, it just sucks that we're apart," He groaned.
I sent him a flying kiss. "Hon, it's only for a year. Once my training is over, Fulton said I could go be free, and it's part of the deal I made for him." I reassured him that everything was okay. We had to go through a year without each other, but that was because of our jobs, and I didn't mind him being in Baltimore to train under Bob to accomplish his dreams, so it was my turn to go somewhere else for mine. "I'm a year away from being a qualified Journalist, and pretty soon, I'll be covering stories all over the world."
"You know, you made a hefty amount on two of your books a few years back, and there's that new one you released last year. So you're pretty much an established author. Why don't you write a new one? I know you'll love it."
"And you know that you happened to have made a hefty amount with your endorsement deals a few years back? I think, probably around a quadruple from how much I earn in royalties for those books."
"So you should be settled then? I'll take care of you, babe, you know that."
"I'm not going to be dependent on you, Sweetie Pie, well... not until we're married."
Michael laughed. "You're bringing that up, huh?" He grinned. "All I said was the year, but you don't know the exact date. I know that it's going to drive you crazy not knowing, so you better be patient," He advised.
I let out a sigh. "You're going to make me go crazy?" He nodded. "And you're okay with making your girlfriend go crazy?" He nodded once more. "And when I go crazy, you'll finally propose, right?"
"Nice try."
I tossed my body flat down onto my bed, my hands over my face as my attempts of knowing were failing every time. I was definitely going to go crazy.
"Be a sport, babe," He teased. "Play by the rules and you'll be fine."
"I know you, Michael Phelps, and you're going to love toying around with me because you finally have leverage against me. I think it's a crime!" I mumbled against my hands.
"Stop over-exaggerating," He continued to chuckle. "I think it'll be fun."
"You're being a bully."
"I'm not. You just hate the fact that you don't have the power anymore. Now look at me, babe."
I turned my head to face the screen. He lifted a box and displayed it, though he didn't open it to show the contents, I knew exactly what he was holding. I pushed myself up in an instant and stared so closely at it. I was like a hawk targeting a prey. Michael grinned and moved it away from the screen when he noticed and commented, "You won't know where I hide it and when it'll reappear again."
"You already bought the ring? But it's not even 2010 yet!" I complained. "That must be against the rules."
"Who says it’s a ring? What if it's just a box?"
A frustrated grunt escaped my lips. "Alright, alright, Phelps, you have the power," I admitted defeat. Michael's face brightened up, it looked the same as when he won his eighth medal, so it probably was the same with my surrender towards him. I shook my head at his victorious grin and added, "One year, Sweetie Pie, we've got one year to hold out before we can be together again."
"And that one year will fly by fast because when you get here, it's the start of the countdown."

Counting down day by day, month by month, was faster than I thought.
Though the good thing about having a loving boyfriend was that he would randomly decide to fly to New York for a weekend just to spend time with me, but the bad thing about having a well-recognized boyfriend was that when he would fly to New York, everyone decided to book him to shows. I had to get greedy and selfish when people wanted to interview him, like there was on time where I forced Michael to hang up because the phone interview was in the middle of our picnic in Central Park.
The rules remained the same when I would be the one visiting him.

But there was also a time in between the Press Conference in Beijing, China in 2008, to the day of the proposal around 2010, when key people in our lives decided to get married. As though people began to think about taking major steps and marry once it was mentioned. It became a much talked about and attended topic after Michael Phelps decided to bring it up to the spotlight in our relationship. We did, however, receive some criticism for getting serious with our nearly four year relationship at a young age, and that was followed by getting negative feedback from some people with the fact that Michael and I still haven't gotten engaged since he made his plans public.

Wedding Season

We attended about three weddings, each one unique and had their own romantic vibe, and Michael would then decide to tease me about it and make comments. It really had me thinking. Even though I didn't intend to marry just yet, his proposal plans lit up some light bulbs in my brain and suddenly became the only thing I could think of. I had to attend a few more on my own in New York because they wanted to be featured in the Magazine, since for some reason, Fulton decided to put me under the Wedding Magazine area, and I even had to write anonymous replies to women who wrote in as well as writing a few columns and guides. I didn't really want to be there and I was basically the youngest one there with men and women who were married, but it was part of my training.
I much preferred the Travel Magazine three floors above.
At least then, I wouldn't have to keep thinking about weddings all day long.

Wedding Bells always buzzed into my ears, and it got worse when Derek decided that it was about time that he got hitched with Lia after five years together. When Derek retained his 400m Freestyle Gold and got Silver in 1500m, and Lia won Silver in the 100m Breaststroke at Beijing, he suddenly got it through his brain that within the gap between Beijing and London that he would elope with Lia. I didn't know what went on in their heads, but when they suddenly invited us to go to Las Vegas with them in the Summer of 2009, Michael and I decided to just follow along without any questions. They tricked us into walking into a chapel, signing our names on a few paper works, and all of a sudden, became witnesses as well as the Maid of Honour and Best Man to their unconventional nuptials in a small chapel with a man dressed as Elvis as the Minister.
When they exchanged vows, Derek was 24 and Lia was only 22.
They were officially hitched without telling their Parents, but they both wanted a proper wedding in five years' time. The two moved in together in a small apartment in Baltimore, Maryland, where they began their married life. I didn't criticize them for how they got married, but the world managed to go negative on the happy couple and said some things that made Derek face the media with a frown on his face. I couldn't blame him.
They've been in that road before.
Though, after I heard Lia cry to me through the phone, I told Michael that whatever plans he had of proposing to me meant that it would result to a traditional wedding and the whole package because I didn't want to face more criticism as well as having my Parents and his Mom mad at me. All three of them always told me how they wanted to attend a wedding with a proper ceremony.
I added that I would agree to be engaged, but I haven't decided the rough date to exchange vows.

In the Fall of 2009, Michael was invited to a relative's wedding, and he ticked plus one to his invitation, so that meant I went along with him. I was his date, and he introduced me to his relatives as his future wife-to-be. I didn't know how to react, but everyone congratulated us anyway. His relatives were constantly on my case about when I would agree to move in with him, and a few of them didn't want anything to do with the topic, but instead, decided to interrogate me like I was guilty of something. The Bride of the Wedding was beautiful, she was the one who married into the Family, and she praised as well as admired me for being able to survive through the media splurge and managing to stay around as long as I had been as the Swimmer's girlfriend. She and her new Husband both advised me to stay calm and remember that I was the one who accepted to be part of Michael's life when I agreed to go on a date with him, and complained that it was rather inappropriate for him to tell the media of what he wanted to do over the four year build up to the Olympics, though on the other hand, the Newlyweds admired him for his honesty so that everyone would know that his relationship wasn't just a boyfriend-girlfriend one, but he had intentions of going further.
With the topic being the most talked about, Michael's Mom seemed to want time to hurry up so things could go quickly to the day of the proposal. She kept talking to me about wanting to see what the future had for her Son and me, and that she wanted to see us go far - not only in marriage, but to the point when we both retired and grew old together. I felt more nervous talking to her about it.
Whitney and Hilary both told us that whatever decision was made, it had to be made by the both of us. So if getting engaged and getting married was in our minds, then it would've been an agreement of the pair, not just Michael, since neither of them ever heard me make an official statement about the idea. They both questioned me about my plans of exchanging vows at the reception, and I said the same thing as what I said to Michael.
I would agree to marry him, but when we would walk down the aisle was still open for discussion.

Though there was one particular wedding that we attended that made my brain - and the trail of thoughts about marriage that came with it - get out of my head and slapped me right across the face.

Winter 2009, my Mom remarried.
The man, Nicholas Jones, was already there since late 2006, and my Brothers and I had to go through a lot of overseas trips to get to know the guy and made sure he was the right one for our Mom. And he was, well, to me and my Younger Brother, but we didn't know about our Older Brother, because it took him a long time to like any of my Mom's boyfriends. It was definitely a tough task and heavy burden on the boyfriends because Mom relied on all three of our opinions, and if neither of us liked the guy, she would leave them without any questions asked.
Fortunately for good ol' Nick, he passed my Older Brother's test.
I once asked my Older Brother why it was hard for him to accept new men into Mom's life, and he said it was because Mom chose douchebags. I just thought it was because the idea of remarrying troubled him, since Dad remarried too.
I took Michael as my plus one and he and I sat throughout the whole ceremony in a serious manner, and it was the first time that the both of us looked and thought of the whole matter seriously. We didn't even joke about it like how we did at his relative's wedding, and we didn't think about tricking people like in my best friend's chapel wedding. I first thought that Michael behaved because my Older Brother was there, but I found out that he didn't like the idea of getting married for the second time too. He told me that the only reason he would ever go through a second wedding was that the first time was the official nuptials while the second time was the renewal of vows.
And that was when I got slapped right across the face.
Marriage was a major commitment, and with divorce rates going up, I found out the reason why I never knew the answer to his question of when I wanted to get married was because I actually got scared.

My Mom and Dad divorced when I was seven. Michael's Dad left him and his Sisters when he was young too.
I didn't want to turn out like any of them. It was since I saw what hell my Parents went through and how tough it really were when I was many miles away from either Parent. It had me worry about the future.
So I decided that I wanted to see how it was like to live with Michael, to see if he could handle me and I could handle him, and hopefully, I would know if I was afraid of getting married or the idea of marriage or not at all.
There was a difference.

"Michael! Fulton agreed that I move to Baltimore!" I exclaimed once he answered the phone.
"Are you finally agreeing to move in with me?" Michael excitedly asked.
"But you have to promise me one thing."
"Anything," He cooed.
I paused for a moment. "Stop teasing me." I lied. I wanted to tell him, but I couldn't.
"That's no fun." He chuckled. "But as long as you're moving in with me, I'm happy with that."

Moving in together... Woo. That was quite a big step.
Pre-engagement life, here I come.