Stay With Me

Alex P.O.V.

When the teacher put Jess and I together for the assignment I wanted to do back flips. I had never been so excited for a project in my whole schooling life. Then I remembered that this didn’t mean that I could have her, It just meant I could spend more time with her… but was that really a good idea? I ducked my head, hidding the smile that had automatically spread across my face.

Jess was told to move and sit next to me, she slowly made her way to where I was and slumped down in the chair next to me. I turned to face her, she looked really pissed off so I turned to face my book and began to doodle random shapes.

I could feel her eyes burning into the back of my skull waiting for me to look at her again and say something, anything but I couldn’t. I couldn’t be nice to her, she had to hate me, it was the only way.

“Alright that’s it!” Jess almost yelled at me as she grabbed my face with her soft hands making me face her. The touch of her made my heart race. Our faces now inches apart.

”I don’t want to be partners with you just as much as you don’t want to be partnets with me” She said starring straight into my eyes, “But we have no choice. So you are going to actually start to talk to me again. I don’t care if it is jsut about the assignment but we are going to do this and when it’s finished you can go back to being a dick. I really don’t give a fuck anymore.” The bell rang before I had a chance to reply. She released me from her death grip and stood from her chair.

She was half way out of the classroom when she abruptly stoped and turned around.

“Come to my hosue this afternoon. The sooner we finish this the better.” And then she turned back around and stormed out of the classroom.

I was still excited to spend alone time with Jess at her house even though I couldn’t do anything. Just being around her made me happy even if she wanted to kill me. Jess mad was actually really attractive. I would just have to control myself.

Later that Afternoon.

Neither Jess or I had a car that day so Jack said he would drop us both back to Jess’. That and I don’t think Jess wanted to spend any extra alone time with me.

I played with my phone, attempting to make myself look busy as I waited for Jack and Jess at the car. They took their god damn time at their lockers I thought to myself. Finally I saw the couple walking towards me, holding hands as usual. It made me sick with jealousy.

“Hey Lex” Jack said walking over to his side of the car. I mumbled a simple reply still pretending I was interested in my phone. We all piled into the car and the trip to Jess’ house was silent, nothing but the simple hum of the radio to distract us from the awkwardness.

The car pulled to a stop but no one seemed to be getting out of it. I looked up from my phone for the first time this whole journey to see Jack looking at me signalling for me to leave the car and give them 'alone time'. I got out of the car as quickly as I could, I did not need to see them kiss or do anything else for that matter.

I slowly made my way up to the front door and sat on the steps waiting for Jess to open the door for me.

Jack P.O.V.

Alex finally got the message and left the car. I could tell Jess wasn’t in the best mood and I wanted to cheer her up without Alex awkwardly sitting in the back.

“Baby, Are you okay? You’ve been really quite.” I said placing my hand on her cheek.

“Yeah, Just not really looking forward to spending the afternoon with him. I’d rather it be you.” She said softly pecking my lips.

“I know baby but maybe you two can become friends again. I don’t like that you’re not. I mean you two are the most important people in my life.” I said sincerely which brought a smile to her face.

It was true Alex and Jess meant everything to me, yeah I had my parents and other friends but the two of them helped keep me sane, and happy. I wouldn’t be who I am without them.

To be honest lately Alex and I have been really distant and I know I sound girly but I hate it, he just keeps pushing me away and it hurts. I don’t even know what I did wrong. I just want Alex back but at the moment Jess is more of a best friend to me than Alex is. She was my best friend, my girlfriend, my everything, I don’t know what I would do if I ever lost her.

I kissed her once more and let her leave my car to go let Alex in the car. I knew he got pissy when you left him waiting for too long. He was like a four year old, not that I could talk.

Alex P.O.V

“You hungry?” Jess asked me as we walked into her house. I nodded my head in reply, the less we talked, the less I fell for her. She rolled her eyes and pulled out a bag of chips from one of the cupboards.

“Thirsty?” She asked not even bothering to wait for my reply as she pulled out two soda’s from the fridge. I took the can offering her a small smile which she ignored.

“Alright so where do you wanna do this?” She asked opening the bag of chips and taking a hand full. I shrugged my shoulders as a reply, signalling I didn’t know. She groaned and picked up the food as well as her bag and walked into the dinning room, I followed.

We sat down and began working. I started to talk more and we actually got some work done. It was nice. I felt the need to pee so I stood up and began to walk to the bathroom.

“Hey! Where are you going?” She asked sounding confused.

“To pee..” I said turning around and looking at her.

“Oh right the bathroom is-” I stopped her knowing where it was.

“I’ve been here before, I know where it is” I said beginning my journey to the bathroom again.

“Oh right, When we were friends” She mumbled expecting me not to hear her. Her words sounded less bitter and more sad.

When I walked back into the room Jess was still sitting at the table writing her part for our project. I sat back down in my seat and started doing my work but I couldn’t stop myself from glancing at Jess.

She looked so adorable when she was concentrating. The way her eyebrows furrowed together and she chewed her pen. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Her actions so simple yet so addicting.

“Alex” Shit I’ve been caught I thought as I quickly averted my eyes to the book I was meant to be studying. She repeated herself so I took it as my que to look up.

“Yeah?” I said in almost a whisper. She looked worried, and as if she was debating on what to say.

“Alex, why do you hate me?” She said starring into my eyes for an answer. She looked like a lost puppy I just wanted to wrap her in my arms.

I waited a second before replying, I was caught off guard, What was I meant to say?

“Jess, I don’t hate you” I decided to go with the truth.

“Don’t lie to me Alex!” she said frustration clear in her tone. “If you don’t hate me then why do you always ignore me! What did I ever do to make you not want to talk to me? One minute you were one of my best friends and the next you can’t even say hello to me in a cafe! …It hurts Alex… I miss you” By the end of her rant she had tears brimming her eyes, threatening to fall.

I was such a fucking dick head I was making this beautiful girl cry and for what? To control my own selfish feelings. I got up from my seat and went over to her. I wrapped my arms around her small frame, praying that the tears wouldn’t fall but to with my luck they did.

“I’m sorry Jess it’s just that I um I” I stumbled through my words not able to make a sentence.

“Lex just spit it out” Jess demanded realising herself from my grip and wiping her eyes dry. The tear had stop and the anger or frustration had returned.

“I love you” Jess’ eyes widened and she stood from her seat taking a few steps back.

“Fuck I mean no um I” I said trying to make an excuse for what came out of my mouth. I didn’t mean to say that I just saw her expression and it just came out, like vomit.

“What did you just say?” Jess said in disbelief.

“Nothing I said nothing” I said trying to repair my mistake.

“No Alex you said you love me!” Jess said almost yelling.

“Alright fine!” I said just as loud. “I fucking love you! I don’t want to but I do! And it fucking sucks because you are fucking my best friend!” I said sounding angry. Jess just stood there looking shocked. I was hoping for another emotion, joy, sadness, anger, relief something more than shock.

“Ugh Jess I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything but I thought the only way to get over you was to ignore you but that didn’t work so I started being a dick to make you hate me. When I think about it it doesn’t make much sense but I don’t know I’m a boy!” I said feeling guilty about what I have/am putting her through.

“So Lisa wasn’t lying when she said you loved me? And Jack still doesn’t know?” I think the questions were rhetorical but I answered them anyway.

“Yeah Lisa overheard Kara and I talking about-“

“KARA KNEW!” Jess yelled sounding angry.

“Yes but only because I had to tell someone and I told her not to tell anyone! If jack found out he would hate me and I can’t lose him” I said coming clean about everything and explaining the whole situation.

“Who else knows?” She asked still looking confused.

“Um well Lisa, Kara, and then Zack figured it out that day at the cafe and Rian knows because Kara and I think that’s it.” I said thinking it over in my head.

“I need to sit down” Jess said as she walked over to the couch, I followed her and sat on the opposite lounge. We sat there in silence for what seemed like an eternity.

“Say something please. Anything” I begged her.

“Alex, I don’t know what to say except you’re too late. Like months too late. I used to like you, that night at the party I was going to tell you that I liked you but you were with someone else and Jack came up to me and everything happened from there. And now I love Jack. Not you.” She said the last sentence in a whisper. She loved Jack I was too late.

I moved to kneel in front of her.

“I know, I’m sorry but for what it’s worth I think we would have been great together” I said with a small smile. She just shook her head, not agreeing.

“Alex I think you should leave.” That one hurt but I understood why. I nodded my head in agreement and walked over to pack up my stuff. I walked to the door and saw Jess standing there waiting for me holding the door open.

“I really am sorry Jess, I wish I didn’t love you” I said as I walked past her.

“I know Alex. I know you wouldn’t intentionally want to hurt Jack” She said as I turned to face her, our face inches apart. Fuck it I thought.

I pressed my lips to her with force and passion, I was pleasantly surprised when I felt her kiss back, even if it was only for a second. The kiss was amazing better than I had dreamt about, it felt right as if our lips were made for one another.

Jess pulled away from me and she looked horrified or scared, but not at me, at someone behind me.