Pathways

A few weeks went by with no luck. The council began to suspect that something was going wrong and I had found myself growing tired of the constant sex. It felt like we had sex more then once a day, and with Darren that meant that I was sore and tired most of the time. Honestly I had only taken one test after that and it still came up negative so who knows, maybe I truly am infertile. I really hoped that wasn’t the case though considering I wanted to be able to stay with Darren more then anything in the world. I loved the guy so freaking much that it was ridiculous.

That night when he has returned home from one of his meetings I had fallen asleep on the couch in front of the TV. Some random movie was playing and it clearly hadn’t held my attention. I had found myself entangled inside a thick winter blanket and my head had slumped onto the arm rest. My breath was stale and tasted like the aftermath of coffee, and my hair formed one giant rats nest cocooned on top of my head. I probably wouldn’t have awoken at all that night if Darren hadn’t slipped his arms underneath me and cradled me to the oversized bed.

My mind was still groggy and I wasn’t thinking straight. For some reason I found myself blabbering on about being tired and not wanting sex. I even started spouting worries about not being pregnant and something about not making him coffee as well. After that I couldn’t decide if he was going to laugh at me or feel pity, but the sentence that came out of his mouth was something I didn’t expect and it made my eyes water for no apparent reason and it was clear to me that I was still half asleep.

“Darling stop mumbling, I can’t understand a word you are saying.” He hummed, laying me down on his side of the bed then tucking the blanket tighter around my shoulders. His calloused fingers wiped the sleep infused tears from my cheeks and a concerned look engulfed his gorgeous tan face. “Rose, what’s wrong?”

I was so tired and confused at that point that I didn’t understand that when he leaned in for a gentle kiss, that he only wanted a kiss and not some wild night of sex. I think it was just that fact that he pushed for sex every night and that I was so tired of having it that I lost a little bit of sanity. It wasn’t that I didn’t like the sex, or that I didn’t love him. It was the fact that I was so wore out from having it that I just wanted to give up for a night and feel like his real girlfriend. All I wanted was to be held, to be kissed, and to be allowed to just lay with him.

“No.” I whined sleepily, rolling away from his kiss and burying my tear stained face into the pillow. “Please no more.”

The weight of his body was transferred on the bed and it shifted until his arms were rolling me against him. His stunning hazel eyes filled with concern. I felt his hand press against my cheek as it rubbed soothing circles.

“Darling, no more what?” He whispered quickly. “Was someone in here? Did they hurt you?” I could see his wolf taking over as he began to tilt his head up into the air, smelling it. Searching for the scent of any unwelcome visitor. Half asleep I rolled into his chest, beginning to doze off more and more each second.

“Sex.” I mumbled, quietly yet enough for him to hear what I was getting at. His head snapped down to look at me with sad eyes. Honestly I had only last my virginity last month, and sex had been pushed so much that I have lost count of how many times we had it. I was so tired of having it every night, wasn’t It supposed to be something that I longed for? Wasn’t it supposed to be something that I wanted? It was almost like I had to let my wolf take over every night just so I could handle it. “Please, no more.”

My body was almost completely asleep now. All my weight was on him, and all of my senses were gone. I could barely feel his arms as the encircled me. It was hard to even feel his hesitant lips press against my forehead.

He took in a sad sigh. “Shh, you are just tired.”

He knew that I was over worked, and I think he understood that I couldn’t handle it tonight. Darren simply let me do what I wanted, he allowed me to sleep. Throughout the night he never moved, I don’t think he even allowed his body to rest. He just sat there, holding me and rubbing my back gently. It was nice to feel this close to him again. I felt wanted, desired even. I didn’t feel like he just wanted me for reproducing.

That night my dreams were filled with happiness. Not just sex, and not just dreams of children. I actually dreamed of my old home, I imagined myself sitting in front of my fire with a good book. There wasn’t any one there to distract me. The log cabin walls, and the orange glow of the fire on my discarded pile of books resting against the mattress on the floor was all that resided there. My home, my true home. A place where I could relax and be able to breath. My serenity.

When I awoke the next morning my nose was attacked by the smell of freshly made banana nut pancakes. A kiss to my temple and the soft calling of my name. My eyes wrenched open slowly, taking in the blurry world piece by piece until the focused. Darren was sitting next to me with a half smirk on his face. His blonde hair tussled and his chest bare. My eyes traveled over every curve of his well structured body, the body of the alpha male. Hard bumps of ripped abs, the crease of the ’v’ which created a smooth path to his...well you know. I ripped my eyes away from him and then forced myself to slowly slide up into a sitting position. I was greeted with a plate of pancakes, a glass of apple juice, and a cherry present bag topped with glistening pink ribbons and sparkly hearts. My eyes traveled to him with confusion.

“Last night made me realize that I haven’t been thinking much of you, so I get you a present. Please open it and I will explain each.” He gestured towards the bag.

I smirked and reached for it, and gripped the cold thin plastic in my fingers. It was smooth, clearly a new bag. I couldn’t believe that he had truly gotten me something. Normally I was happy with just getting a hug, but this was a new twist. I kind of liked it honestly. Clumsily I reached in and gripped the first thing I felt, a velvet box. I swear my heart jumped into my throat. If this was a ring did that mean that he wanted to make the full blown commitment of getting married? Desperately I tried to slow my heart down and pull out the box without looking like an excited school girl. If this wasn’t a ring I sure would look like an idiot if I got all excited and it wasn’t what I thought.

The box was a deep crimson and extremely soft velvet. It wasn’t a new box, it seemed to have gone through a lot. There were a couple patches of the box that the velvet had been rubbed away and the smooth black plastic was showing. Numbly I popped open the box and a stunning red ruby greeted me, it wasn’t huge and flashy like most would be but it was almost hypnotizing. The stone was cut into a tear drop shape and it was hung daintily on a silver chain.

“My mothers.” He informed, carefully taking the box from me and pulling it out of it. “She never took it off, and if you’ll have it neither will you. It occurred to me that you probably have been feeling like I was using you, and that isn’t the case. I love you so much and I don’t want you to feel like I don’t love you.”

I frowned and leaned forward to peck him in the lips. They were soft, and warm. It felt like home. “I’ve never felt that way.” I hummed, moving my baby blue eyes up to his hazel ones. It was had to make out the detail of his eyes at the moment, but I could see the swirls of brown and green barely through the dark room.

My hair was lifted and pulled over my shoulder before he pulled the necklace gently around my neck. It fell neatly against my collar bone and seemed to shimmer in the dull light that entered through a crack in the cream colored curtain. I expected it to be a heavy stone, but I could barely feel it. It seemed as though it carried its own weight.

“Its almost three centuries old. The first alpha of the pack gave it to my Grandmother-my fathers mom-, and when my father got married it was my Grandmothers present to my mom.” He explained, looking down at it and almost sighing deeply. “Now that my mother is gone I have to present it to you, but I know she would’ve wanted you to have it. Rose you are the sweetest person I’ve ever met, I’m so thankful that you were my mate. You will making a great leader.”

We sat there for a few minutes in silence. Just taking in each other. His eyes trained on the necklace and my eyes trained on him. I liked the moment like this, it made it able to see him for who he really was. He was so beautiful. Golden hair atop of his head, and powerful facial features. His nose rounded in all the right places and his cheek bones defined to a T. He was a god, the perfect alpha. I was just a simple plain jane, there is bound to be other people out there that are more his level. Will I have to fight to keep Darren? Or will I be faced with a life time of being the Alphas mate? The sad thing was that I can’t decide which one would be more frightening.