Would You Bargain With Hell?

*
Every time I saw Mason I ended up doing this same thing, leaving. Every time it hurt a little more. So I knew, in my heart, this time I wouldn’t come back. Because if I came back I would hurt him, and I knew that boy had been hurt enough already, this time I would be what everyone wanted me to be. I dug around in my pocket for my little phone. I scrolled through the contacts and wiped the tears from my eyes.

“Hello.” The voice on the other end answered.

“Hi Patrick, its Rayder.” I choked

“Oh, hi Rayder, what’s up?”

“Can you pick me up please?”

“Are you alright? You don’t sound good. Where are you?”

“I don’t know. Beside some garage, please.”

“I’ll find you, okay, stay there.”

The line went dead and I bit my tongue. I rolled my head back, it hit the brick. I heard muddled sobs through the brick and I closed my eyes tight. Then crashing, some more things were breaking. And just as he was breaking his ‘house’ he was breaking my heart all the more. I would have died to see his face, to touch him and apologize. To be with him. To be together. I wanted so deeply to run away with him, but it would never work, not in my twisted little world.

So I decided it was selfish to want Mason, I would be selfish to go back inside and hug him. That Patrick was who I cared for, that Mason would have to live in my past. There was no way of making him my future.

After a while, as the sun was dipping below the trees, the noises from inside stopped. Patrick hadn’t come and it was cold. I wrapped my arms around my knees and laid my head down on them.

I opened my eyes when I heard the door open, the side door of the garage. Adjacent to me. I heard him sniffle, and I heard him mumble. I could swear he mumbled my name. I swallowed and ran. I ran to the back of the house, and into the patch of woods. I found solace behind a tree. Mason went running down his block, he was screaming my name. I dropped my head in my hands and the water dripped down my elbows.

At times like these, I remembered a conversation I had with Mason, a while ago. Before our first kiss. He said he would go to hell in my place. I only know realized the potential behind that. I bit my lip and whined.

“Rayder!” Called the English voice.

I rolled on my side and stood, wobbling to Patrick and immediately falling into his arms.

“Rayder..,” He said rubbing my back “What’s wrong? What’s going on Rayder?”

I was mumbling and crying all over his nice shirt.

“Please take me home.” I lifted my head to look at him.

He nodded, his eyes tender, and he walked me to his Fore Model-T recreation. He sat beside me in the bucket seat, and instead of driving he put his arm around my shoulders.

“Rayder are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

I looked into Patrick’s bright blue eyes, and I saw a human. He was human, I had to remind myself. He wasn’t a droid, like Grace, or Mrs. Howell. He grew up better than that.

“I don’t know, I’m sorry.” I bit my lip. “Can you take me to my house?”

He nodded keeping his arm around me. He started the car which roared nicely. I closed my eyes until the car came to a stop. Tamerlane Manor, in all it’s fucked up glory.

“Do you want me to come in with you-,” He looked at me, removing his keys from the car’s ignition “Well, I’m going to come in with you.”

I nodded following him out of the car. We approached to door; I had held myself together pretty well; at least in my own opinion.

Grace opened the door with a grandiose smile and charismatic presence; she must have been expecting someone she needed to impress. Nonetheless she smiled seeing me with Patrick.

“Hey you crazy kids! Come on in!” She completely ignore how disheveled I was, and the concern in Patrick’s face.

Patrick followed Grace, his elbow dragging me behind him. We all three sat on a sectional sofa. Grace crossed her legs and smiled at us.

“I was wondering where you’d gone, little bunny. What were you two out doing?”

She was a great liar; I’d give her that any day.

“Mrs. Tamerlane, is there any way that Rayder and I could talk in private?” Patrick really was a pretty stand-up guy.

Grace’s eyes widened. “Well, yes, I suppose, but you know, if you guys,” she took a deep breath “If you guys do anything, use protect-,”

“We aren’t going to do that Mrs. Tamerlane.” Grace nodded, as Patrick responded quickly.
“Alright.” She stood, taking a moment to look hard at me.

Patrick looked at me. “Rayder, what happened out there? Did someone hurt you?” He leaned closer to me.

“No, no one out there wants to hurt me Patrick.” It’s exactly the opposite actually, I hurt someone out there.

“Well,” He said “If you don’t want to tell me you don’t have to.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Then I’ll lose you too.” I mumbled wiping a tear from my eye.

“What?” He kissed my cheek. “Rayder I have no intention of leaving you. What happened? Who left?”

“My dad.” There was no harm in telling him that.

“What?”

“My biological dad, Jasper, he died. I don’t feel the same anymore.”

“I’m sorry Rayder, I’m really sorry, I’ll be here okay. Why don’t you just go to sleep?”

I nodded leaning on his chest. I closed my eyes. I pictured the good things in life but one stood out, the one that would always stand out. My savior. My love. My Hero.

Mason Connors.