Would You Bargain With Hell?

The breeze was cold as the sun finally took its bed and the moon rose over the bridge slowly.

“Rayder,” He looked around, searching for something to say, because either he pitied me, or he was frustrated by me.

I didn’t care for either emotion, so instead I held his hand and directed him to look out to the bay. He stared at me, and shimmied closer. He was warm, and he leaned his head on mine. I smiled. I looked at the posts on the bridge, I knew something had happened here-something monumental, but I couldn’t remember it. No, I wouldn’t remember it.

I nestled in closer with Patrick and closed my eyes.

The next week was custom fitted; the Tamerlane’s did everything they could as to sort of initiate me. There was luncheons, and brunch, and tea time as well as shopping, salons, and waxing’s that I detested. Finally Grace gave me her little seal of approval. She gave me a necklace, identical to that of which all the Tamerlane’s bore. A small chain housing a small blue diamond. I smiled and took it gratefully.

The next day at dinner, where I had a real seat, beside Sophie-however I did miss seeing Gentry’s happy face- Grace had an announcement.

She held her husband’s hand and then stood smiling wide.

“So, we have some news, girls.” At this point everyone was sat at the edge of their seats.
Again Grace met glances with her husband. “We’re expecting.”

Everyone seemed to get overwhelmed with happiness, questions being repeated by each girl ‘how long’ ‘is it a boy or a girl’ do you think triplets again’.

Grace sat back down and raised a hand to silence everyone. She looked at me, and I realized I wasn’t smiling so I did.

“What’s the matter Rayder, aren’t you happy.”

“Your news is delightful Grace, absolutely! How long are you in?” I asked staring at the untouched caviar on my plate.

“I’m two months in!” She exclaimed, I drew my eyes to Pierre, who was stoic and seemed bored.

“I hope I get a boy this time, but I wouldn’t argue if the girl was s as great as you girls are, that’s including you Rayder.”

I smelled and raised a glass to that, everyone reciprocated. At some point, while I was fiddling with my salmon Marie asked Grace about names.

“Well for a boy, Gabriel, or maybe Peter or Benjamin. If I have another girl, Penelope, or Hallie.” Everyone rejoiced at her oh-so inventive name selections.

I managed two bites of the food before my stomach began churning and I asked to be excused.

“Rayder, wait, I, we, have something for you. Girls- lets go show Rayder to her room.”

They stood, all of them, even Pierre. And nudged me to follow. They started up the stairs and I paused. I’d never been allowed upstairs.

“C’mon, Rayder!” Celine urged and I took the marble stairs slowly.

We turned right and they opened a door for me.

There was a large canopy bed, a French ornate bedroom set, tile flooring with flower details, royal filigree molding on the ceiling, and a large vintage sign that read ’Rayder’.

My mouth dropped.

“It’s for you, behind that door, with the pink door handle is a closet, and the door with the cream door handle is a bathroom.” Grace added.

Celine, Marie, and Sophie all crowded around me. Like moths to a lamp.

“Girls, leave Rayder to her room, we’ll see you tomorrow Rayder.”

I nodded speechlessly and moved to the bed. Like that of floating on a cloud. This room smelled like strawberries, there was no mold, it was painted a light pink, and not one old poster hung on the wall. I felt tears in my eyes. Why had I for so long fought them. They didn’t want me to change; they just wanted me to be me. And I finally was. I was Rayder, and I was happy.