It's Not A Fashion Statement...It's a Deathwish.

GERARD’S POV

SIX YEARS LATER

I’m out of art school, I’m twenty three now, and I’m still in Utah. I’m still living with Bert, and I’ve been sitting in on some of his band rehearsals. I’ve become really good friends with his band mates too. There’s Quinn, Jeph, and Brandon and they’re all really nice. The reason that I’m still with them here in Utah, even two years after art school, is because I’d been developing a cartoon. I actually pitched it to Cartoon Network today...and they rejected it. Well I thought it was pretty cool, but they said it was too close to Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I opened the door to Bert’s apartment and he was sitting at the counter, reading a newspaper and drinking a beer. I grabbed one from the fridge in silence.

“So how’d it go with the cartoon guys?” asked Bert without looking up.

“Rejected.” I muttered. Burt put down the paper.

“Oh. Sorry dude that sucks.” he said. “But if its any consolation I almost shit myself I thought it was so funny.” he added, laughing a little. I wasn’t in the mood for Bert’s jokes, so I got rude.

“Honestly that’s no consolation at all.” I said walking into my room. I plopped down on my bed and flicked on the T.V. I guess you’re wondering about me and Lucy then right? Well, there’s nothing to wonder anymore. She didn’t show up at the airport, she never called, whenever I called she wouldn’t say much. Eventually I just stopped trying. I figured she didn’t want anything to do with me. Of course I missed her, but I think one of those funky “fell out of love” things happened from the separation. I started changing the channels and finally settled on the news. I watched all the tragic stories and they just washed over me. Something about a man faking his taxes, something about an old lady wanting her missing son to come home, then something from New Jersey that caught my attention. The anchorwoman started to speak and I sat foreword on my bed.

“And today Belleville, New Jersey mourns the loss of one of their own when Lucy Dawson died in New York City last night around eleven thirty PM. Two men attacked her in an attempt to mug her, when she fought back one of the men stabbed her twice in the chest, and she bled out on the way to the hospital. Lucy’s funeral will be held tomorrow for all friends and family wishing to attend.” She went on to some other story and I just sat there. I went cold as stone. There was no way they could have been talking about MY Lucy Dawson could they? I picked up my cell phone and sent a text message to Frank. It read HOW IS LUCY DOING. I put my cell phone down waited a few minutes in silence, biting my nails. A few minutes later my cell phone beeped with a text from Frank. It said IS THAT A JOKE? I texted him back saying NO. WHAT’S THE MATTER? IS SHE OKAY? Another text from him read NO GERARD. SHE’S ANYTHING BUT OKAY. My heart must have stopped as I texted back WHAT DO YOU MEAN? Frank replied saying YOU DON’T KNOW DO YOU? I replied saying WHAT HAPPENED. Frank never replied to that. I ran back into the kitchen and stood there. Bert looked up.
”What’s up Gerard, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” he said. I swallowed hard and looked at him.

“I need a ride.” I whispered. Bert didn’t ask questions, he just got his keys and we walked to his car. I didn’t take anything with me, I didn’t have time. I just grabbed my wallet and made sure my credit cards were there.

“Where are we going Gerard?” asked Bert as he started the car.

“Nearest airport.” was all I could make out. He gave me a weird look and looked like he was about to say something, but I silenced him. “JUST GO!” I shouted.

“Alright alright!” said Bert and sped off. When we got to their airport I ran to the front desk.

“Put me on your next flight to Jersey.” I said. The attendant pressed some buttons on the keyboard.
”We have a seat left on the flight that leaves in one hour.” she said.
”Great.” I said, pulling out my credit card. She took it, swiped it, and handed me my tickets. I ran across security without a hitch and sat in the airport lounge until I heard the call for my flight. I ran onto the plane and settled in. I fell asleep after about twenty minutes, and woke up when we landed from the bumps of the runway. I sat straight up and looked around. We’d touched down in LaGuardia airport and people were walking off the plane. I pushed past people and ran out of the airport. I caught a bus to a hotel and checked in for two nights. I then checked online all the funeral homes in the area, and discovered that Lucy’s funeral was open coffin, being held tomorrow at twelve noon, at the Greater Belleville Funeral Home. I wasted a few hours watching T.V. and sketching on the notepad at the room desk. When I looked up from the sketching the window was pitch dark and the clock read 11:20. I yawned and stood up to stretch. I sat down on the bed and stared out the window at the highway below. I fell back and lay across the bed and just fell asleep like that, feet still on the floor. I woke up around ten AM, back aching from the pain of sleeping in the position I had. I sat straight up and realized what time it was. I stared in the mirror and discovered that my reflection looked like fucking death warmed over. My hair was all over the place, and my eyeliner (yeah I wear eyeliner, got a problem?” was smudged. I went into the bathroom and did the best I could with my hair by combing it with my fingers. It didn’t look to terrible, but was still due for a washing, so I jumped in the shower. I only spent about five minutes in there, and towel-dried my hair quickly once I’d gotten out, re-dressing in the same clothes. There, now my hair looked okay, and all the makeup was gone. I called information from my hotel room phone and asked for a cab company. The cab I’d ordered met me at the front of the hotel, and drove me to the Greater Belleville Funeral Home. I glanced at my watch. Eleven forty-five; perfect. People...schoolmates...family were already filing in, so I waited in the cab for a little while. At twelve, some ushers came to close the doors, so I stepped out of the cab and past the ushers. Some people were milling around a brown wooden coffin, all dressed in black, many crying. I hung back, but eventually couldn’t take it. I walked up the coffin and stood near the top, near her face. My heart leapt into my throat. There lay Lucy...dead. Her eyelids were barely closed, and her face was totally caked in blush. I could see right through it to the pale bloodless skin below. She was dressed in a long lacy black dress and her hair, which was much longer than when I’d left her (about down to her chest) was curled lightly. My eyes stayed fixed on her face, and my brain kept saying turn away. But I couldn’t, eventually my head jerked up, and while I intended to stare at the wall, my eyes fell on the girl standing on the other side of the coffin from me. She stood there, staring at me, moping away a few tears with her hand. It was Lexi Andreas. Her jaw dropped when she saw me.
”What are you doing here?” she asked. I glared at her.

“I could ask you the same thing.” I spat. “What are you doing at the funeral of the girl you hate and who hated you? Or did you just come to hit on me again?” I asked. She rolled her eyes.

“Don’t flatter yourself sweetheart.” she said. She held up her left hand and pointed to it. A ring with a huge diamond glared in the stained-glass sunlight at me. “See this?” she asked. “It’s called a wedding ring. A commitment. Something you weren’t able to give Lucy.” she said. Her words pierced me like knives because she was absolutely right.

“You’re Bryce’s wife then I assume?” I asked. She nodded smugly.

“Ah.” I said. “Well, congratulations.” I added.
”What were you thinking coming here?” she asked.
”She was my girlfriend Lexi.” I said.

“It’s Alexia now.” she spat. “I dropped Lexi after graduation.” she added. “And yeah, she WAS your girlfriend, until you went away to Colorado or whatever.” she said.

“Utah for your information.” I said matter-of-factly. She raised her eyebrows in acknowledgement.

“You completely destroyed her when you left.” said ALEXIA. I looked at her, confused. “She got really depressed. Didn’t come to senior prom, didn’t come to school, didn’t graduate. Then again, it probably wouldn’t have been very different if you’d stayed would it have been?” she asked, smirking. I gave her a dirty look and said

“I had no idea. She never called, never wanted to talk when I called her. I just...” I said.

“You just gave up.” said Alexia. “That’s what Lucy said when you left. That’s what Lucy said whenever she had a single thought about you. That’s what Lucy said on the phone with me when she died.” she said, tears welling in her eyes again.

“What?” I asked. She took a deep breath.

“Lucy was talking to me on her cell phone, the night she died, as she walked through NYC. You came up. She reminded herself about how she thought you’d just given up on her. I heard her scream suddenly, I heard two men’s voices. I heard the fucking knife hit her Gerard. I was as good as there.” she said, chin trembling. I was at a loss for words. I walked around the coffin and hugged her.
”I’m sorry.” I said. “One question, what were you two talking about anyway? I thought you wanted nothing to do with her and us.” I said. She looked at me.

“Wow you really stopped talking to her fast didn’t you?” She asked. “We became friends again about a month after you left. And Gerard...if you want brutal honesty...she dumped your friends and came back to me and her old girls. Almost like you were the only thing holding her there.” she said. My jaw dropped. I shook my head furiously.

“That’s a lie.” I said. “That’s a complete and total lie.” I said again.

“It’s not, Gerard.” said Alexia solomly. “I’m sorry but it’s not.” she whispered. I took another lingering look at Lucy and then ran like hell out of the funeral home. It had started to rain, but I kept running. I needed to get to Frank’s house. I needed to talk to him about that Eyeball Deal.

THE END