Infinite

"You're not seriously considering leaving, are you?" I asked as Ronnie and I stood in my childhood bedroom, the pages of tour dates spread out on my bed.

Ronnie sighed as he paced in the space between my bed and dresser. "I don't know, Att, I can't see backing out of it now. It's all ready set up." He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and glanced at the papers. "It would be fun," he added, "You had an amazing time on Warped this summer."

"We've barely been home four months, Ron," I muttered, shaking my head at the impromptu tour. "Plus, you heard what my dad offered me. If I go with you then I'll lose that opportunity."

"He just offered you your old job to keep you from going on tour, Atticus," Ronnie growled, rolling his eyes at my dad's manipulation. "You can't seriously be considering playing into this. You know why he offered it to you and you know what it means if you accept."

I nodded slowly and met his eyes "But it's my job, Ronnie," I whispered, excitement in my eyes, "I have a chance to get my dream job back. It doesn't have to be anything more than that, Ron."

He pushed his thick strands out of his eyes and turned to look at me. His dark eyes stared into my own and I could see the conflict in his. While another tour hadn't been planned, it was obvious that he didn't want to back out of this one and disappoint any of the fans. On the other-hand, the two of us hadn't been separated since we got together over a year ago.

If Falling in Reverse left early, in just a month and a half, we wouldn't be reunited until fall of the next year. These dates backed up to Warped Tour, and that was something that the band wouldn't ever miss out on.

I could see in him the conflict that I felt and the anger that our schedules weren't going to work out. I gently rubbed his arm and nodded towards the door. "We better get going if you want to talk to the guys about this tonight," I suggested, watching the anger in him amplify as he realized I wasn't going to give and go with him.

"This is such bullshit," he growled before he barreled out of the door. When I reached the top of the stairs, he was halfway down them and heading towards the front door at the bottom.

I sighed as I watched him head outside, our nice day ruined by the thought of being apart for eight or nine months out of a year. I descended the staircase and stepped into the living room where my dad sat, looking a bit pleased with himself.

"Don't," I demanded, pointing at him as he stood up.

"Don't what, Atticus?" he questioned, walking over to stand in front of me.

"Don't looked so happy with yourself," I clarified, "Just because he's mad doesn't mean you've won." I crossed my arms.

He rolled his Gurewitz eyes and shook his head. "Atti, my plan wasn't to get the two of you in a fight," he defended, "I just want what's best for both of you. That means more exposure for the band and a chance for you to get your job back."

"Why give it to me now, Dad?" I questioned, keeping my posture the same, "You've had a long time to offer it back to me and you never did, why give me another shot now? Just as you announce more dates for FIR?"

Realizing that I was onto his scheme, he nodded and admitted what was going on in his head. "Atticus, I just want you to see what it'll be like in the future. When you two are married with kids, do you really think that you'll be able to ditch your entire life and travel the country with him? No, you'll be stuck home taking care of sick kids and dealing with the PTO while he's off living his dreams and experiencing the world," he expressed, explaining what he thought was our future together.

I glanced at the pictures of us on the walls. Times from my childhood were framed to be remembered and hung up. "You did it," I reminded him, pulling my eyes away from a photo of Frida, Max, and I on our father's tour bus when we were kids, "Somehow you managed to raise three kids alone and have a music career. What makes you think that Ronnie and I can't do it together?"

"Atticus, that was different," he stated, shaking his head at my comparison, "I didn't have the choice to leave you kids at home. Your mother wasn't here to take care of you. Do you really think that he'll want his kids around on every tour in the future when there's the option of you staying home with them?"

"I think that it'll work out, Dad," I replied, dropping my arms to my sides, "Because he loves me and because right now he's sitting in the Cadillac pouting because I won't come with him."

"What happens when he gets bored of being alone on tour?"

I shook my head, glancing towards the front door. "He sure as hell won't be anything like you, Dad," I stated, referring to the life he ruined by cheating on my mother, "He loves me too much to ever do what you did. In five years, when we're married and have a kid, he'll be the one begging us to come along, not the other way around."

Dad sighed and rubbed his palm over his hair. "That's what you think now, Atticus," he replied, disbelief coating his words, "and I wish you were right."

I nodded once, curtly. "It's sad that you think I'd get involved with someone who would ever cheat on me," I murmured, "I thought you knew me better than that."

"I thought you raised you better," he stated.

I ignored the comment and pushed my hair over my shoulder. "If the offer is still out there, I'll take the job," I stated, "I shouldn't have quit in the first place."

"It's yours," he replied, nodding, "Just come in on Monday and Daniel will give you everything you need."

"Alright," I agreed, "Where's Nico? I want to say goodbye so that she doesn't think we left her." I climbed the stairs again and turned into my baby sister's room. The three year old sat on the floor playing with her things. When I walked in, she climbed to her feet and wrapped her arms around my legs. I lifted her up and held her tightly. "Love you, Nico. I'll see you soon, okay?"

She simply sat back down on the floor and resumed playing with her toys. I headed out of the house without another word to my father. When I got in the car, Ronnie started it up silently and started towards Ryan and Jacky's, making it obvious that he wasn't happing with my decision not to go on tour, if they all decided to go.

He pulled into their driveway over a half and hour later. He got out of the car with the tour dates in his hand and slammed the door, something that he regularly would've yelled at me for doing. Sighing, I climbed out and followed after him. We'd called Derek and Ron on our way over and I was glad their cars were parked on the street, so that we wouldn't have to wait long for Ronnie to simmer and explode.

I walked into the door and saw that the guys had already congregated in the living room. "Atticus," Derek greeted with a grin on his face.

Ronnie turned his head to point his glare in my direction. I rolled my eyes and dropped onto the couch between Derek and Jacky. "How have you guys been?" I asked, glancing between them.

"Pretty good," Derek answered as Jacky nodded in agreement, "We've just been pretty busy getting everything wrapped up and ready for the CD release in a couple weeks."

"I'm glad you guys are almost done," I stated, "Having you all up and at the house after the studio is ruining my sleeping patterns."

"Haha," Ryan remarked, shaking his head at me.

"You know you love us, Atticus," Ron added, looking at me pointedly from the love-seat that they'd brought back in from the garage after Ronnie's birthday party.

"Maybe we should get to why the hell I'm here?" Ronnie asked rhetorically, waving the papers around.

"Okay, Ronnie," I stated, crossing my arms at the man, "Get on with it then."

I watched the guys' faces as Ronnie explained what my father had done. While it seemed like no big deal on paper, the fact that he'd set up a whole other section of their tour without consulting them was unexpected and never done.

"You mean we're leaving early?" Ryan asked, crossing his arms from his spot next to Ron.

Ronnie nodded. "Either that or we disappoint a whole bunch of fans."

"We really don't have a choice, then, do we?" Ron asked, shaking his head, "Why would Brett do this without talking to us first? What if we couldn't make it and we upset a lot of people?"

"Who knows," Ronnie replied, although the answer was obvious. "Atticus' dad is insane."

I sighed and leaned into Jacky's side, knowing that Ronnie's anger wasn't going to dissolve any time soon. As long as I didn't tag along on this tour, he would be mad at my father and I for keeping us apart.

"I guess we all better start preparing," Jacky softly suggested, causing the band to nod their heads slowly. It was the first actual confirmation that they were going and I could see the defeat on Ronnie's face when the part of him that wanted to stay home was overruled.

"You better call my dad and let him know," I said, patting Jacky's knee, "You've got a lot to do before you leave."

Four faces turned to me while Ronnie glared out of the front window. "You're not coming with?" Derek questioned, a frown on his face that matched most of the others'.

I glanced at Ronnie, who wouldn't look in my direction, and then shook my head at the rest of the guys. "My dad offered me my job back," I explained, "but if I go on tour with you guys this time, I'll lose the opportunity."

They all understood that I was finally getting my dream job back, but they also knew that this was my dad's way of keeping us apart and I was going along with it.

"So it's settled?" Ryan reaffirmed, "We're leaving early?"

They all agreed and the band meeting ended. Jacky stayed on the couch with me as Ryan jumped up and darted down the hallway towards his bedroom to call Jenn, while Derek remained seated, focused on his cell phone. Ron headed into the kitchen to check out what little food the boys had. When he realized it was nothing, he asked if we wanted to go out.

"Baby, do you want to get dinner with the guys?" I asked Ronnie, who stood by the window, still pretending that I didn't exist.

When he didn't answer me, I rolled my eyes and got up from the couch. I grabbed Jacky's hand and pulled him up. "Jacky, do you want to have dinner with me?" I questioned him, smiling as he nodded and kept my hand intertwined with his.

"Ryan, Ron, you want to go out to dinner!?" I called through the house. Ron stepped out from the kitchen area and nodded. Ryan shouted his answer from down the hall.

"If you're not coming," I said to Ronnie, "Then I'll guess I'll see you later."

Ryan came barreling down the hall and lead us towards the garage door. "Lets get out of here," he said, "I'm starving. Where're we going? Jenn is going to meet us there."

When Ronnie didn't move a muscle to come after us, I let go of Jacky's hand and stepped back. "We'll meet you guys there," I spoke as they stopped to wait for me.

"Just lock up." Ryan nodded. "You know where the spare is."

I nodded too and watched them leave of out of the garage door. When they were climbing into one vehicle, I walked over to Ronnie and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Ron," I murmured, pressing my cheek against his back, "You can't be mad forever."

He pushed my arms off of him and turned around to look at me with a blank expression. "I don't know why you would even bother working for your dad again," he stated, shaking his head, "You haven't worked there for years and now you're jumping right back into it?"

I nodded. "I got out of it a long time ago," I said, "but I regretted it the moment I did. When I tried to get my job back, they'd already replaced me with someone else."

Ronnie looked away from me. I'd told him the story of why I quit my job and why I never got it back, but it seemed that I'd have to remind him just how much I loved the job. "Ronnie," I sighed, touching his arm, "When all of that stuff happened with that boy from one of the bands, I quit, because I thought it would be better. Then I started working at the daycare and I loved it, but I've wanted to scout bands for as long as I can remember, Ronnie. It's all I've ever really wanted to do and having a second chance is more than I could ever ask for."

He scuffed his shoe on the hardwood floor and shook his head. "I know, Atticus," he grumbled, "but wouldn't touring be the best way to meet new bands?" His eyes met mine as he proposed the idea. It made sense to both of us. There were always new bands going to shows and handing out demos and EPs, especially at Warped Tour, but I knew that it didn't work that way, not in the beginning at least.

"I have to prove myself first," I admitted, "Daniel Reich knows me from the last time I worked at Epitaph, but that doesn't mean that I get a free shot. I still have to jump through all the hoops to get the job back and going away on tour isn't going to allow me to be at Epitaph enough to show that I'm serious about this."

He jingled his keys in his pocket but didn't say a word in response. Engaged to be married, eventually, and in love wasn't really the bio of two people who wanted to be separated for months at a time, but I didn't really have a choice and I just wanted Ronnie to see that.

"It'll be fine," I promised, clutching his shirt in my fist, my fingers pressing against his side, "You'll have an amazing time without me and you're fans will be stoked, and everything will be fine, Ron."

"But what about your fucking birthday, and Easter, and your sisters' birthdays, and the fourth of July, and all the shit you're going to miss out on while you're stuck here alone?" he asked, naming things that we'd spent together last year.

"I'm not alone," I rebutted, pressing against his sides, "I've got my siblings, and Arch, and Heather. It's not like I'm going to be sitting in the apartment waiting for your return. Plus, you'll have Davey to keep you company," I added, referring to the man who'd been on every tour and sold merchandise for the band.

Ronnie groaned frustratedly and I could practically hear his snippy remark without him having to say it. "Why can't you just fucking come with?" he questioned, "Bring Arch and work from the bus."

"It's not that simple, Ronnie!" I exclaimed, stepping away from him as I grew annoyed by his selfish attitude, "Not everything works out how you want it to. Sometimes we have to be adults and take care of our responsibilities at home."

He crossed his arms over his chest. "Well, that's bullshit," he stated.

I nodded softly, agreeing. "Maybe it'll be different when we're older, but for now, that's just the way it is."

Without agreeing on whether I was going or not, we got into the Caddilac and headed towards Derek's favorite Mexican restaurant downtown. I knew there would be more battles to fight between us, but in a month and a half, when the Falling in Reverse bus pulled away, I would be waving goodbye from the apartment parking lot.