Infinite

We arrived just before the hearing was set to start and waited in the hall outside the room where Arch's hearing was going to convene. It wasn't a large, grandeur courtroom, but instead a conference-type room with rows of seats on either side and a table separating them.

We were waiting for Lyla Ains to meet us in the hallway outside and explain the order in which everything would happen and if we would be permitted to speak against returning Arch to his mother.

I was startled when a woman came walking out of the room with a man at her side. I hadn't expected anyone to come out. They were discussing the legal side of things which made me assume he was her lawyer and she was Arch's mother. Her dark hair and straight features looked nothing like the little boy in my care and I was relieved. Somehow, seeing that she looked opposite Arch made this easier. It was easier to look at her and not think of her as the person who should've been in my place. And easier to deny her access to the little boy she'd shunned so ruthlessly.

It was obviously when she saw us. She turned around in the midst of a conversation and paused, staring at us from about fifteen away, taking in everything she could about us. She stopped the man mid sentence and excused herself, ignoring what looked like protests from him. I took Ronnie's hand and we stood up, legs backed against the chairs that ran along the wall.

"Hello," I greeted, holding my hand out for her to shake, "I'm Atticus and this is Ron-"

"I know who you are." She folded her arms over her chest and licked her lips. "You're the people who have my son," she spoke softly, yet with a tone of anger and frustration. Then a slight look of revelation came over her and she stared me down without looking me in the eyes. "You used to work at Arch's daycare," she realized, "You're the woman who took him that night and then wanted to keep him forever despite what I wanted." She had spoke slowly but definitely, her voice rising slightly the more she spoke.

I frowned in reply to her words and her belief that her feelings were any consideration of mine. "To be frank, I don't care what you want, Mrs. Drewry. I'm here for Arch, not you. I'm here to do what's best for him," I replied callously, hoping she wouldn't be angered by how much I cared about him. Ronnie stepped just slightly in front of me so his shoulder was pressing back into mine and Abigail noticed. She took a stunned step backwards and took in Ronnie's appearance before replying.

"What's best for my son is for him to be with his mother," she stated, trying to sound dignified, "I don't know how you think that foster system could possibly compare to a loving home."

"If you loved him, you would've never forced him away," I growled angrily. I tightened my hand in Ronnie's, itching to forcefully remind her of all the pain she'd caused her only child. Ronnie tightened his grasp on my hand and stepped back into me, a silent warning for me to simmer down.

Lyla Ains stepped out of a room just down the hall and when she saw us, subtly bee-lined over to mediate the confrontation. She stood at our sides, standing just between us and greeted the other woman, "Mrs. Drewry, I see that you've met Atticus and Ronnie." She was smiling as she motioned to us.

"Yes." She nodded curtly. "I was just about to ask how Arch is doing."

Lyla frowned and clasped her hands together. "You know that we're not allowed to tell you anything specific about where he is," she replied gently, "We had to ask permission just for Ronnie and Atticus to be here, but they're not allowed to tell any details about Arch's current placement. I'm sorry. All I can say is that he's doing very well."

"But he's my child," she clambered, "I deserve to know where he is and how he is doing."

Ronnie spoke up for the first time. "I thought that's what we were here to fight against," he said rhetorically, earning a glare from Arch's biological mother and a disapproving look from Ms. Ains, who was doing her best to keep the peace.

Lyla clarified. "Mrs. Drewry, we're just here to ensure that Arch is kept in an environment that is beneficial to his health, both mentally and physically." She stopped at that one sentence when an official looking man stepped through the doors and asked everything to please make our way to our seats. Ronnie and I followed Lyla to the right side of the table and Abigail Drewry sat across from us with her lawyer at her side as well as an older woman who I'd never seen before.

We introduced ourselves to the lawyer who had been assigned to Arch's case. He sat at the end, closest to the judge's seat and across from the other man of the same profession. Despite working for the state, he focused on children's cases and promised to do his best to keep Arch in a healthy environment.

I looked back towards the doors as another small group stepped through. Ronnie looked at me as I watched the couple walk over and sit in the row of chairs behind us, along the wall. Will looked out of place with such a serious demeanor and Olivia was obviously pregnant, her hand resting dramatically on her round stomach as she maneuvered over. I swallowed back my distaste.

"Will, Olivia," I greeted solemnly, "Thank you for coming."

Olivia spoke for them as she took her husband's hand. "Of course, Atticus. Just because we can't take care of Arch anymore doesn't mean that we don't care about him. We just want what is best for him."

I thanked them one last time before we were asked to stand and the judge entered the room. We were told to sit just after he took his place at the head of the long table. He introduced himself. "I'm Judge Andrew Fenway. This is the hearing for Abigail Drewry to be granted visitation rights of," - He checked the paperwork that sat on the dark, wooden table in front of him - "Five year old Arch Drewry, her biological son who she previously relinquished custody of in 2012 and a precursor for a custody hearing."

"Yes, your honor," the lawyers chimed.

Judge Fenway motioned towards Abigail. "First I'll hear as to why the child is not in the mother's custody any longer and why Mrs. Drewry believes that she's the best fit for her son, after such a long time as this." He folded his hands and put them on the desk and turned his chair just a fraction to face her.

Abigail's lawyer spoke for her. "My name is Eric Burley, I'm representing Mrs. Drewry. In the early Spring of 2012, Archer Drewry was overseas and was killed when his caravan was bombed, in the wake of such a tragedy, all who loved him were feeling such an indefinite pain that Abigail couldn't function properly and after dropping her only son at daycare - a boy who is the spitting image of his father - she went home and slept for hours."

The lawyer glanced at Mrs. Drewry, who sniveled, on the brink of imagined tears, and nodded her head as though she was feeling the pain all over again. Mr. Burley continued, "Abigail Drewry awoke to the sound of the police knocking on her door, believing her to have committed suicide, and explained the misunderstanding. The police however; believing her to be unstable, berated Mrs. Drewry into believing she was a bad mother and sent her child home with a woman from his daycare."

The judge's mouth was pressed into a fine line and his eyes sought some semblance of real emotion in Arch's mother as she sniffed and wiped at invisible tears. He licked his lips and nodded, asking, "You are saying that Mrs. Drewry at no time consciously relinquished the rights to her son. But rather than going with her to pick up her son, the officer coerced her to give him up and then, even though the officer had no say in what happened to the boy, allowed him to go home with his daycare provider?"

Eric Burley nodded curly. "Yes, your honor. Mrs. Drewry has assured me countless times that she never would've willingly signed a legal document that relinquished her child to the state, but was made to feel so inadequate that she truly believed she was doing the right thing."

"Your honor, if I may." Ms. Ains handed a paper to the man fighting on Arch's side. Jackson Russo handed the document to Judge Fenway, who pulled his glasses down in front of his eyes to read the paper. He looked straight at Abigail Drewry when he was done.

"Mrs. Drewry, are you sure that you signed the document the night you didn't show up to get your son from daycare?" He didn't wait for her answer. "Because, this is what you signed, and it is dated for two days afterwards which suggests that you knew fully what you were doing when you signed away your rights. If you sent him away that night, there was plenty of time within the next two days to get him. California law states that you had thirty days to regain custody of your child." He passed the paper down to her, but the horrified look on her face told us all that she knew what was coming. Real tears sprung to her eyes out of shock and defeat and she spoke, pushing the signed statement away.

"Of course I should've fought for him back, but I was in a terrible state of mind and spent time in a health program to get my life back together. I didn't know that time was running out. But now, in hindsight, I realize my terrible mistake and I'm fighting to get him back because I love him," she said quickly, "You cannot keep a child from his mother!"

"Mrs. Drewry, you had thirty days to regain custody of Arch. There is a window for cases like this for this very reason, however; we are only here about visitation at this time," the judge spoke. His tone was even and showed no hint as to which way he was leaning on that issue. He asked Arch's mother a few more questions and she answered them all the same, pointing out her grief and sadness and regret.

When it was our turn to rebut her visitation request, Arch's lawyer stood up. "Your honor, I would just like to point out that this case isn't just about the child having a roof over his head and food to eat, but about a little boy's happiness and mental state after losing both his parents in such terrible ways." He looked at Mrs. Drewry as he spoke, his eyes sending accusations her way. I wanted to shout out and cheer him on as he brought her down, but I bit my tongue and nodded instead.

"Arch is a five year old boy," he continued, "Since being entered into the foster care system, he's been quiet and withdrawn more so and has openly struggled with his father's death and being abandoned, even going as far to ask his foster parents why 'nobody loves' him. It's incredibly obvious the toll that this has taken on him. Like any child would be, he's traumatized by this rejection." He stepped back and motioned to me. "Atticus and Ronnie are Arch's temporary foster parents," he explained, "After being taken out of the care of his former foster parents, Atticus and Ronnie took him in to prevent him being institutionalized in a group home. Atticus has brought evidence of how Arch is thriving under their care and how any change in day to day structure would set him back. Atticus." He sat down.

I'd been briefed on how to refer to the judge and what ways to say things. It was my job to show how wonderful Arch's life had become since coming to live with us and how he might revert back into his shell if forced to confront being abandoned. I was not allowed to show names in photos so the sign of his school in photos was blocked out and the address outside my house covered in the same way, as well as the insignia on his uniform blazer.

I passed the photos, in order, to the judge. "Judge Fenway," I started, holding duplicates of the photos in my hands, "Arch is a brilliant child. He has genius potential and he is just five years old. This summer, Ronnie and I enrolled him in a gifted children's summer kindergarden program at a private school which makes him eligible to begin first grade in the fall. Not only is he keeping up with all the other kids, he's excelling at everything he tries." I passed down the record of his summer school grades. Nicolas had gathered them together for me and we'd picked them up just this morning. Comments from his teachers and caregivers, records of the grades he'd received on their few summer assignments, it all showed how well he was doing.

The judge looked them over with a keen eye. His nod showed that he acknowledged how well Arch was adjusting to this version of his life. When Judge Fenway set down the photos on the table, I continued, ignoring Abigail as she reached for copies, her eyes soaking in the images of her son that she'd never seen.

"At home, Arch is well behaved and playful. We cook dinner together every night and then spend the night together watching his favorite cartoons or playing with the toys in his room while an image of his father hangs on the wall above his bed. While Arch has wholeheartedly accepted the passing of his father and talks about him often, he's yet to adjust to the idea of his mother returning to his life." I glanced at the dark-haired woman. She'd looked up to me at the mention of her husband and frowned deeply, angrily. She thumbed over the photo of Arch in his school uniform, her eyes taking in the differences between the four year old she left and the five year old he'd become.

He stood outside our house on his second day of the program. It would be his first full day seeing as I had to spend it at the record label signing paperwork and having meeting with my boss and father. Despite his weary attitude, Arch was grinning as he showed off his new backpack and fancy new clothes. He wore his blazer over a button up with a rounded collar and fancy Ronnie-inspired diamonds on his cuffs. He wore slacks and shiny shoes and held himself in a playful and happy way. His hair was longer than it was when his mother left him and his face older and more defined despite his (never changing) round and rosy cheeks.

Abigail spoke up, "He hardly looks like the same child."

I reached across and gently pulled the paper from her fingertips. "That's because he's not." I handed back to her another image. One of Ronnie and Arch sleeping together on the couch just before Ronnie left. I was crouched down beside them both, fawning over them. Abigail quickly pushed it away, dropping back onto the pile.

"Arch also has friends now," I continued, trying to make as many points as I could as to why they shouldn't uproot him again, "His best friend is a little girl named Silvi who he goes to school with. She's a bright child with an amazing family. She's shy like he is, but they make each other giggle. He's not afraid to speak up to others when she's around. He's becoming this social butterfly and he isn't afraid to try anything, including letting himself enjoy his life."

"And everyone loves him," Ronnie added as I became flustered and quieted down. He looked at the judge with his dark eyes and smiled, explaining. "I've never met someone who hasn't fallen in love with him the minute they see him, but even more than that, when his personality comes through his quiet demeanor and that slips away, they couldn't think up a better kid. Arch has become so comfortable."

I nodded. "Arch is thriving," I agreed, "I've known him a long time now and everyday he just grows more comfortable with who he is and it's noticeable. He's growing up and he's happy."

The opposite lawyer spoke up then, taking all our attention. "I'd just like to point out," he said, "that this is not between this couple raising him and Mrs. Drewry raising him, they are fighting to keep Arch in the foster system with no ties back to his biological family and he won't necessarily be with them for the next thirteen years. Chances are he'll be bounced from foster home to foster home with no one to fall back on. Why would anyone fight to subject him to something like that?"

The judge nodded as though he really needed reminding and when he turned to us, the serious, downcast look on his face made my heart drop. He off-handedly flipped through the papers on the desk without really looking at them. "That is correct, Ms. Gurewitz," he spoke, "The goal of the foster system is to ultimately reunite children with their biological parents or find them a family who will love them and raise them as their own. The United States Foster system is not a long term care alternative."

Lyla Ains rebutted, "Your honor, the options for Arch living with his biological parents are limited and Mrs. Drewry's records will show that she is in no way capable of caring for Arch in a stable environment. She does not even have her own residence. She and Arch would be staying with relatives rather than in a stable, permanent home. Any reminder of this will set Arch back. He's a fragile child and if the foster system's goal is to put him back in an environment that will upset and stunt him, then I don't understand why we claim we help children."

"I've seen Mrs. Drewry's health records and am aware of the red flags, but there are steps she could take in order to start the process of regaining custody of her child, but without visitation rights there is no reason. If Mrs. Drewry is not allowed contact with her son, then he will never return to her."

I wanted to remind him that was my exact plan, but I stayed quiet. I leaned back against the plastic of the chair as he mulled everything over. The gnawing pit in the bottom of my stomach told me that we'd lost and Arch would soon be thrown into a world he'd been working so hard to forget.

Judge Fenway moved all the documents and pictures into neat piles and looked up across the wide, long table at the eight of us who crowded around it, fighting for what we each believed was right for Arch. Then he spoke, "In the best interest of five year old Arch Drewry and due to the sensitive nature of this case, I am granting his biological mother, Abigail Drewry, bi-weekly, supervised, hour long visits with her son at a place of Ms. Gurewitz' choosing with either Ms. Gurewitz or Mr Radke present."

Abigail's invisible tears returned and she yanked her chair around so she could hug the woman sitting next to her. I still had no idea who she was, just she looked happy for Abigail, not particularly that Arch would be around again. Ronnie pulled me to him, sensing the emotions that I was holding back and kissed my forehead, whispering that everything would work out all right.

Ms. Ains promised the same thing, but they wouldn't have to see Arch's tears when I explained that his mother was forcing herself back into his life.