‹ Prequel: Trouble-Maker
Sequel: Summer Boy

Infinite

Tethered 12:30 Kites

The doctor's office was sleek and modern. It was all grays and whites and women in matching scrubs pointing identical smiles at us when we came through the sliding doors. There was a set up of connected desks that created a gap between it and the wall where the ladies sat at computers. The station curved around and faced the door, serving as the check-in station for the office.

Ronnie and I walked in together and I plastered a confident smile on my face when we walked up to the nurse's station and greeted the woman. "We have an appointment at twelve-thirty," I said, "We're a little early because we wanted to get started on the paperwork. My name is Atticus Gurewitz."

She asked me to spell my name and brought up my newly made file from their system. "This is your first prenatal appointment?" she questioned, reading the information from the screen, "Were you previously given the paperwork about your family history?"

I shook my head and hitched my bag higher on my shoulder. "No, I didn't speak with this office directly, but a friend explained quite a bit about what we need to know."

She nodded and rolled back in her chair to a filing shelf situated on the desk behind her. She pulled packets from the labelled shelves and laid them out in front of us. "You and the father," she stopped to look at Ronnie, "need to answer these questions to the best of your ability. When you're finished, go ahead and bring them back and I'll let Doctor Johnson know you're ready."

I lifted the papers from the counter, sliding them into one pile, and thanked her as she handed over two pens. Ronnie followed me into the waiting area and we stepped around chairs with seated people in them and over to the corner grouping, sitting down carefully while a mother tried to wrangle her daughter back to her on the other side.

I set my bag on the carpet and began piecing through the pages. "I should've told you about this beforehand," I said, separating his information from mine, "I doubt we know all the information we need. I haven't told my dad yet, so I don't have any of my mother's medical history." I looked up at the singer, pen in hand, knowing that he was in the same boat. Neither of us had any information about the women who helped create us.

"My dad doesn't know anything, so asking him wouldn't be worth it anyway," Ronnie answered, taking his section of papers, "But I would like to tell him about this when we go pick up the Cadillac." He looked back at me as he waited for my reply.

I paused, nerves building in the pit of my stomach, and met the singer's watching gaze. "Ronnieā€¦ I don't think it's a good idea to say anything this early," I said, cautiously waiting for his reaction. When he turned his eyes from me, I added, "We don't even know what we're going to do for sure and I don't want it getting out there before we have a plan laid out."

"Pops won't say anything to anyone," Ronnie answered, sliding to face me in his seat, "No matter what you decide to do, I have to tell him, Att, he's my dad."

"Ronnie, I know- but you know how easily things seem to get out," I defended, "When - and if - we do tell people, I want everything to be planned and perfect. I don't want it to look like this was just some mistake that we don't know how to handle."

I tapped the pen anxiously as I paused for his answer, but he leaned across the arms of the chairs and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, crumpling the papers between us. I wrapped my around around his sides, pressing my hands against his jacket over his ribs.

He leaned back and smoothed my papers down, offering me a smile as he thumbed through them and pulled out his stack, pen in hand. "We can do this," he said with a confident nod. He looked down at the papers and asked, "So what do I need to fill out?"

I pointed him in the direction of the right questions and then settled back in my chair to fill out the same paperwork. We felt cohesive now and it made it easier to relax and focus on each question one at a time rather than worrying about everything else that was weighing on us.

It had felt impossible to separate reality from overblown nerves, but it was becoming easier. Perhaps that was because I could feel Ronnie holding his own now. It didn't feel like I was alone in this and that was liberating. It was the combination of his words and simple actions. He didn't fight me when he saw my nerves, instead he settled in and let me lead the way, even though we hadn't even decided on a direction yet.

I watched him as he scribbled answers with his left hand, and I could imagine another version of him. It was a picture that I had thought about countless times before, one that I had imagined for my future. Thick dark ringlets, Ronnie's eyes, a piece of him created by me.

The reality of it terrified me, but I could feel some of that being siphoned away by the man next to me. It was the same effect he'd always had on me, and I was grateful for it in this situation.

When we were done filling out the information, Ronnie took the papers back over to the main desk before joining me again in our corner of the office. I leaned towards him, leaning on the arm rests that were pushed together, and he grabbed my fingers with his own.

I couldn't take my eyes off the little girl just feet away. Her hair was a middle shade of brown and her eyes were similar. She was sitting on the floor at her mom's feet, playing with one of the toys that were scattered around her. Her mother was obviously pregnant, but grinning as she moved to stand up when a nurse called her name from behind us. She quickly gathered the little girl's things together and pulled her along by her hand.

I watched them until they disappeared into the back and then I turned my gaze to the floor. Ronnie brushed his shoulder against mine and I turned to look at him. He was smiling slightly, leaning forward like me, with his elbows on his legs. "Do you want a boy or a girl?" he asked, almost mischievously.

"It's too early to think about that," I answered, looking away from him, "Don't start thinking about it like that, Ron, I don't want you to get your hopes up."

"I don't really care what it is," he replied to what he thought I was referring to.

I shook my head without looking at him. "We don't know if we're going to have a baby yet," I clarified, squeezing his hand with mine to reassure him that it would be alright either way, "I don't want you getting too carried away right now."

"You know what I want." His voice was quieter, more serious. It kept me from looking at him because I knew that ultimately the decision was up to me, but he'd already put his vote in.

"I know," I said softly, turning my gaze to the family coming through the office doors.

We both got up when a nurse called my name. Ronnie grabbed my bag and followed me over to her. She was slim and slightly shorter than me, but smiled widely and held out her hand for me to shake. "Atticus, I'm Rebecca, it's nice to meet you. We'll be getting you set up to meet with Doctor Johnson today, if you'll just follow me to room nine."

I nodded and she didn't turn to continue to the back, so I added, "This is Ronnie. He's the father."

She smiled and shook his hand. "It's nice to meet you also. I'm glad to see a father attending these appointments. It's crucial to have a good support system during these types of visits."

"What exactly happens during these visits?" Ronnie asked as we followed her down the hall and around the corner. I could see the wheels working in his mind and he looked slightly nervous now, his expression matching how I felt on the inside. I slid my fingers into his.

"It's a pretty basic first prenatal appointment," Rebecca said, looking back at us nonchalantly, "Some medical history questions, a physical examination, Dr. Johnson will make some recommendations, and answer any questions you might have." She stopped at a cut out in the wall and motioned towards a scale. "If you don't mind, can you please take off your shoes? We need to mark your height and weight."

I grabbed Ronnie's shoulder for balance and leaned down to yank my tennis shoes off my feet. The singer held his hand out for them and I handed them over before stepping over so she could get my height.

She jotted down the numbers without saying anything aloud and then motioned for me to go ahead and step off the scale. I took my shoes from Ronnie, but didn't bother sliding them back on since I would have to change out of them sooner or later. The nurse led us across the hall and into the room, telling me to take a seat in one of the two chairs by the desk for now. Ronnie sat down at my side.

"So, I'm just going to go ahead and get a few of these questions out of the way," Rebecca said, taking a seat on the stool as she flipped through our paperwork. "This is your first child, is that correct?" She looked up at us for our answer.

"Yes." I nodded quickly. "For both of us."

She went on to ask about previous partners and STDs and other things that could effect our unborn baby. She asked about age, occupation, drug allergies, alcohol use, and went through our forms with us, repeating almost every answer that we gave. She asked about Ronnie's medical history and then mine, and then moved onto person questions about my body. It was almost twenty-five minutes later before she stood up and reached for a gown.

"We'll step out so that you can change," she said, referring to her and Ronnie, "Dr. Johnson will be with you in just a few minutes, if you like, I can show Ronnie to the waiting room."

I glanced at the singer as I took the gown from the nurse. As nice as it was having him here for emotional support, I wasn't sure I wanted him in the room when the doctor came in to look around down there. I nodded, relieved when Ronnie looked relieved that I wasn't making him stay.

The nurse nodded as well. "After she answered any questions that the two of you have, I'll lead you down to get some blood drawn so we can run some blood work, just step out once Dr. Johnson leaves and you've changed."

"Alright, thank you," I answered calmly. She moved to leave the room and I turned and wrapped my arms around Ronnie, hugging him to me as I pressed a quick kiss against his jaw. "See you," I said.

"I'll be right out here if you need me," he answered slightly awkwardly, but smiled despite it, "come get me when you're done." He stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him and I changed, sitting awkwardly on the crinkly paper covering the exam table.

The doctor was comforting and polite. She was a slim, tall, long haired woman who wore it back in a high pony tail. Her name tag read Jane Johnson, PhD, and her hands were warm when she shook mine. She let me warm up to her before she started the examination. It was incredibly awkward and uncomfortable but it didn't last too long. And when she was finished she got up and washed her hands, smiling back at me.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" she asked rhetorically, "I'll step out for a few moments so you can change again. Do you want me to inform your boyfriend that we're finished so we can all have a chat?"

I grabbed my folded clothes from the counter and nodded. "That'd be great, thank you. He's the one in the waiting room with the tattoos."

She grinned and motioned towards the door. "He only got as far as down the hall," she informed me, "I'll let him know that you'll be finished in a moment." She stepped out and the door closed behind her. It was a couple moments later, when I was zipping up my jeans when Ronnie rapped on the door and then poked his head in.

"You good?" he asked, already slipping through the door.

I nodded and slid my arms into the sleeves of the zip-up hoodie.

He sat back down in the same chair as earlier, his eyes focused on me, but his expression cautious. "Was all of that alright?" he asked, referring to the experience. He sounded unsure of himself, but asked anyway, despite the awkwardness.

"Uncomfortable," I said as I dropped down into the chair besides him, "But not as bad or degrading as I thought it would be. Dr. Johnson is coming back to talk to us." I leaned back, relaxing now that the worst was over for today, and Ronnie settled in beside me.

When Dr. Johnson returned, she was just as friendly as before. She introduced herself to Ronnie and then took a seat on the stool as she had before. She turned to face us and clasped her hands in her lap. "So this is your first baby," she said, posing it almost as a question, "I can imagine how you're both feeling right now. Was it a planned pregnancy?"

I glanced at the singer, whose dark eyes were looking at me, and then shook my head. "No, not really," I replied honestly as I met her gaze, "We did plan on having kids in the future, but some things had changed."

"I understand," she replied easily, "and even though this feels really overwhelming right now, I want you to know that you still have time to take it one day at a time and decide what's right for the both of you. That's what I'm here for - to help you create a plan that works for you, however; it's better if we start now. Have you make any decisions at this point?"

Ronnie didn't plan on saying anything, but I spoke even before he could. I grabbed his fingers in my own, a show of solidarity, and nodded, surprising the singer. He didn't move much as he watched and listened to me speak. "We want to have the baby," I said confidently, nodding as well, "I don't know all that much about prenatal care and this process works, but we've decided that we want to have it."

I didn't acknowledge Ronnie as he grinned, but he tightened his grip on my hand. The doctor nodded, still smiling and clapped her hands together once. "All right, that's a really great starting point. From here I can schedule your next couple appointments and we can get headed in that direction."

"Is there anything we should be doing?" I asked.

"Just make sure you're following all the guidelines that we talked about earlier. It's pretty basic stuff, but it's very important. I'll put in a prescription for your vitamins, so just make sure you're taking them as directed," she said. She turned around and rolled over to the computer to fill out the request, taking our pharmacy information.

"If you two need anything, don't be afraid to call me," Dr. Johnson said. She pulled a couple of sticky notes from one of the drawers in the desk and began writing. "This is my personal number and office number. If there's ever a question you have, shoot me a text or give me a call, I'll always answer." She handed a yellow sticky to each of us and I looked over the numbers before folding it and sticking it into my bag.

This was going to be a long term commitment, and right now getting through this pregnancy was the biggest concern. It would be continuous doctor's appointments, check ins, keeping track of a little unborn child, and learning to reshape my entire life. This was a commitment that I didn't see coming, but that I was now going to take on fully.

Now, I would have to figure out how to explain this to my family. It would've been different if I'd found out when Ronnie and I were still together, but it was too late to go back now. My parents and siblings knew that we weren't in a relationship anymore, but we would be co-parenting a child for the rest of our lives. It wouldn't change my mind, but I was still nervous to see my father's reaction.

As we were getting ready to leave the office and grab the informational papers that she printed for us, Dr. Johnson called out, causing us to turn back to face her in the doorway. She was still smiling and she softened, saying, "Congratulations, mommy and daddy. In just a few short months you'll meet your child for the very first time."

The sentiment struck me and I smiled as I thanked her, before I let Ronnie take my hand and lead me out of the office. We didn't say much as we crossed the parking lot to my car, but we didn't have to. This would be another chapter in our lives and we had finally decided which path we would go.

"Should we go get Arch?" Ronnie asked in the passenger's seat of my car.

I matched his smile with my own. "Yeah, lets go let you make his day." I started the car and headed in the direction of my best friend's house, secretly excited to tell her the news that I knew she'd been hoping for as well.
♠ ♠ ♠
Hey!
So, there are just some last things to work out. Finishing this has become really complicated because there are quite a few diverging plot points! I would really like five comments to hit 200. It would be amazing. So let me know what you're thinking! I'm working on some updates right now, but finals start tomorrow so I might be a little preoccupied.

I do have some future scenes written already though. :) & another surprise.

The more you comment the sooner you'll find out!