I Have So Much to Say, But You're So Far Away

I woke up the next morning to the phone ringing. Not wanting to even be awake, I just let it ring until it went to voicemail. I sighed and turned over, placing my hand on the once warm pillow where my soul mate used to sleep next to me. Memories came flooding back of every time Jimmy used to come and jump on my bed to wake me up and we ended up lying in each other’s arms for the rest of the day, just content with laying in a comfortable silence. Or the many times when he used to sneak in my window, be it to surprise me or because I was grounded. One memory came to mind, making a fresh batch of tears cascade down my face as I closed my eyes to relive it once more.

-Flashback-

“How dare you speak like that to me! Go to your room, you’re grounded for the week.” My mum screamed at me, shoving me towards my room. We rarely fought, but when we did, it was catastrophic. She’d thrown a plate at me and broken a few other objects along with it. I stormed up to my room, slamming and locking my door behind me. I turned my back on the door and slid down, bringing my hands up to my face. I couldn’t stop crying, so I tried to calm myself down, the choked out sobs finally coming to a rest soon after. I realized that the house was eerily quiet, before I heard my mum downstairs. I growled, standing up and moving towards my bed. As I lay down, my phone vibrated. I sighed; I didn’t want to talk to anyone at the moment, though when I checked who it was, I smiled. It was my best friend Jimmy.
“Em! Answer your damn phone!”
I chuckled, replying to the text.
“You rang?”
I didn’t have to wait long for a reply.
“Why didn’t you reply?”
“A…fight. Between my mum and I. It was bad, as in broken-items bad.” I chewed my lip, waiting for a reply.
“What happened? Are you okay?”
“Yeah it’s fine, I’m grounded though.”
“Well as long as my Em is fine, it’ll be okay.”
I blushed as I read the message. My Em?
“But Jimmy, I’m grounded.”
“Well then, I’ll just have to be extra careful.”
I didn’t know what he had planned, but I was very curious. I didn’t reply to the message, rather I sat on my bed, absentmindedly playing with the phone in my hands while chewing my bottom lip. I was deep in thought, until a soft knocking on my window brought me out of it. I sat still, thinking it was part of my imagination until I heard it again. I got up and walked over to the window, carefully looking through it. It was just a tree, I thought, until a pair of familiar crystal blue eyes met my gaze. I let out a gasp before quickly bringing a hand up to my mouth. I smiled before opening my window. Jimmy tumbled in, sprawling on my floor in the funniest way, and I couldn’t help but laugh. That was until he pulled me down with him. I laughed, wrapping my arms around him.
“I can’t believe you James Sullivan.” I turned, smirking. No one was allowed to use his full name without getting in trouble, besides me. He sat up and, wrapping his arms around me, pulled me to his chest. I smiled and hugged him back. We sat and talked for hours, and we watched the sun come up. He had to go, yet he didn’t want to leave. That was the first night he spent at my house, and I fell asleep in his arms. Just before I fell asleep, Jimmy planted a soft kiss on my head. By the time I woke up he was gone.

-End Flashback-

I walked into my old room, nostalgia and memories flooding over me. I crept over to the bed, and then moved my way to the window. I heard an oh-so-familiar soft knocking on the window, and I moved as fast as I could towards the window. With my heart beating fast, I peered out through it. But there was no one there. My heart sunk, and I literally felt it shatter into a million pieces. Come on Emily, face it; he’s never coming back. As much as you want him to, and as much as you believe he will, he’s not. You just have to let him go.
There was that voice again. I slammed my fist against the wall.
“SHUT UP. SHUT THE FUCK UP. HE CAN’T BE GONE, HE CAN’T BE.” I looked up and screamed, hitting the wall again. I collapsed in a heap, crying hysterically. I whimpered, wrapping my arms around myself.
“Jimmy…Jimmy please…” I whispered, closing my eyes. Sooner or later I’m going to have to accept the fact that he isn’t coming back, no matter how hard I plead or how loud I scream.