I Have So Much to Say, But You're So Far Away

-Brian’s P.O.V-

For the second time after I’d arrived, I looked around the house. Everything was left as I remembered it. I couldn’t help but feel a wave of sadness wash over me – how am I supposed to be able to walk into my dead best friend’s house, see everything as I remember it and not feel like breaking down right then and there? I had to keep strong for Emily though – I didn’t want to set her off as well. She looked like she’d done a lot of crying, though she did look a bit better than the last time I saw her, which made me feel a little relieved. I felt so bad that I wasn’t there for her through it all, just because that bitch Michelle suspected that I was sleeping with her. I gritted my teeth. Oh because I’d totally sleep with Jimmy’s broken up girlfriend. I still remember the day she found him; that was the only day I’d seen all the guys – including myself – completely broken….

It was the day after the party, and we’d all woken up with bad hangovers. I groaned, trying to sit up. There were bodies strewn all over the place along with the many bottles of alcohol. I laughed, getting up and heading to the kitchen for an aspirin and a glass of water. I stood at the sink and stared out the window as I popped the pill in my mouth and chased it down with water. I could see Zacky passed out on the grass with Val lying on his chest and Johnny lying on the pool table. I didn’t see Matt, and then I remembered that he was lying on the couch next to my spot on the floor. I looked around for Emily and Jimmy, and then realized that they’d probably retreated to their bedroom for a bit of privacy. The shuffling of bodies snapped me out of my thought as Matt stumbled into place next to me, rubbing his temples. I chuckled and handed him an aspirin and glass of water which he took, muttering a ‘thanks’ before downing them both. He squeezed his eyes shut and coughed and I laughed, shaking my head. People began to wake up and leave, until it was only us guys (and girls) left. I was about to ask Matt a question when we heard a blood curdling scream come from upstairs. My eyes widened as I recognized that it was from Emily. I was up the stairs before Matt had even moved, and I ran into Emily and Jimmy’s bedroom. The sight I saw froze me in my spot.
Emily was shaking Jimmy by the shoulders, screaming and crying. I didn’t know what’d happened until I heard her plead ‘wake up Jimmy, please.’ My heart stopped, and I was pushed out of the way as Matt ran in. He was as shocked as I was, but he could still move. He ran for the phone, calling for an ambulance. All I could do was stand there, staring at my best friend praying he was just messing around. But a sinking feeling in my chest told me that he wasn’t, and that we weren’t going to see him ever again.

I sighed, letting a single tear roll down my cheek. I was sitting down with Emily, and I didn’t notice her move forward to brush the tear away. I blinked, holding my eyes closed for a few seconds to push the memories away. As I opened them, Emily was right in front of me. I looked into her deep chocolate coloured orbs and saw how much pain she was in. Though she appeared happy and fine, I could tell how broken she really was inside. Without realizing it, I had wrapped my arms around her and held her to my chest; I knew she was about to break down and I wanted her to know that I was there for her. When she finally did start, it was far worse than I had imagined. She started with a small sob, before her cries got louder and she started pleading. She then started screaming and wanted me to let her go; though that was the last thing I was going to do. After about 10 minutes she had finally calmed down, and seemed quite tired. I picked her up bridal style, noting how light she was. She secured her arms around me and buried her face in my neck. I walked her up the stairs and towards her bedroom, nudging the door open. I had to stop for a second because everything was exactly how Jimmy had left it, and the memory of that morning was slowly creeping back. I sucked in a sharp breath before shaking it out of my mind and making my way over to the large bed. I lay her down and wrapped the blankets around her before turning to leave. As I started to walk away, I felt something around my wrist. I turned and saw Emily grasping it.
“Please…don’t go. Stay with me?” She whimpered, looking up at me with her broken eyes. I nodded, walking around to the other side of the bed before taking off my shoes and slipping under the covers with her. She moved closer to me as I wrapped my arms around her, securing her against me. I heard her sigh into my chest before she draped one arm across my middle. Not long after, her breathing had evened out and she was softly snoring. I smiled to myself, feeling myself drift off into nothingness.