I Have So Much to Say, But You're So Far Away

-Emily’s P.O.V-

I slowly opened my eyes, flinching at the bright sun that made its way through the unclosed curtains. As I tried to move, I froze, seeing a tattooed arm wrapped around my waist. For a split second I thought it was Jimmy, but my heart sunk as I recognized it as Brian’s arm. Said arm tightened its grip on my waist and pulled me closer to its chest, practically snuggling me. I savored the feeling, breathing out before closing my eyes. After a while I realized I wasn’t going back to sleep so I entertained myself by tracing the brightly coloured tattoos on Brian’s arms. I lightly traced over one brightly coloured monster, giggling as I felt Brian move behind me. I continued, making my way down to his ‘Marlboro’ tattoo across his long, slender fingers. I sighed, thinking about Jimmy. I let a tear escape, feeling it slide down my face before hitting the pillow. Brian was lying in Jimmy’s spot on the bed, holding me exactly how he used to hold me. I cried, trying to stay as silent as I could. Even though it’s been two and a half years, I’m still broken.

I didn’t realize that Brian was awake and that he had heard me because I got the shock of my life as he firmly wrapped his arms around me and held me. I turned around so I could cry into his chest, noting that he had taken his shirt off. I stopped crying and sniffled, focusing my attention on his ‘forever’ tattoo. I traced over the lettering lightly, chucking as the contact made him shudder. I placed my hand on his chest, staring at it for a good five minutes before blinking and moving closer to him. I felt bad because he was dating Michelle, but he was doing this out of friendliness and his brotherly love for me. Still, I had to admit that Brian was really good looking. I’d even had a crush on him before I’d started dating Jimmy. Hell, practically every girl that laid eyes on him fell in love with him. It wasn’t hard either, and even though he put on a bad boy attitude, he was one of the sweetest, most loving guys I’d ever met. I looked up at him and smiled, to which he smiled back. Even though it was forced, I couldn’t help but notice that for the first time in a while, there was a hint of genuine happiness behind it. I was shocked; I hadn’t felt anything close to happiness since Jimmy passed. I moved up and softly kissed Brian’s cheek, whispering a ‘thank you’ before moving away and getting up.

I walked downstairs and, judging from the dying whale noise my stomach was making, decided that I was starving. I moved to the cupboards and got some ingredients out to make pancakes. After that was done, I made some coffee, just in time to see Brian stumble down the stairs in all his shirtless, messy hair and sleepy morning glory. I couldn’t help but stare at his chest, noting how good he looked. I shook the thoughts out of my head and moved the large plate of pancakes in front of him, which he smiled like a kid after seeing and started eating right away. I chuckled and poured two cups of coffee before sitting down across from him and eating my share of the pancakes. Before I’d even gotten through my third pancake, Brian had finished his plate. I laughed, noting all the syrup across his face. I shook my head and leaned over, wiping it away. For some reason, even after I’d cleaned the syrup away, I couldn’t pull my hand from his face. I zoned out, but when I came to he was licking my finger.

I squealed, quickly pulling my hand away from his face. I started laughing and failed to see him coming around the table to grab me. He quickly wrapped his arms around my waist and as I laughed and tried to squirm out of his grip, I came up with the great idea of trying to tickle him. I awkwardly fell to the side and attacked his stomach which I knew was his tickle-prone area. He started laughing which caused him to almost drop me on my head. He quickly regained his grip on me and started tickling me. I was so ticklish and I was laughing so hard I thought I was going to die.

“Bri, pl-please stop! I’m gon-gonna pee!’ I squealed, hoping that the threat would convince him to let me go. Instead, he shook his head and flipped me over his shoulder, carrying my up the stairs. I was quickly flipped onto my bed, followed by Brian leaning over me to resume his tickling. I couldn’t stop laughing and I honestly thought that I was going to burst any minute. I tried to push him away, but because I was laughing I could barely muster up any strength. After a minute or so I managed to push once arm away which made him fall on me.
“Brian, please. You’re squashing me!” I groaned, trying to push him off. Instead, he raised himself up, positioning an arm on either side of me. I looked up into his mesmerizing eyes, and after letting out a few last chuckles, became silent. It was eerie; neither of us made a sound, and it was like time had stopped. Before I realized, the gap between Brian and I was closed pretty quickly and his lips were mere centimeters from mine. I could feel his warm breath on mine, causing a shudder to ripple through my body. Before I could process what was going on, his lips were on mine.