What Makes You Beautiful

I stepped into my bedroom after getting home from a long day shift at the hospital. It was a quick shower and get ready fast so I could go to the arena and watch the boys. Josie was coming since we were sitting in the owners box. She was starting to show even more so no one really wanted her down in the stands just in case.

“I can’t even wear my jersey.” Josie said walking into my room.
“It’s fine, soon enough you will be back into it.” I told her.
“This isn’t fair.” She said.
“You’re pregnant, you can do and eat anything you want you.” I said.
“I know but still.” She said. I had to laugh.

I grabbed a box out of the back of my closet. It was a baby gift for her shower. I knew this would cheer her up so I decided to let her have it early. I placed the box on her lap.
“This was for your baby shower, I know James wishes he could see you open it. But I think he will understand.” I told her. She smiled and opened it.
“This is awesome.” She said. It was a maternity penguins shirt that had the logo and future penguin on it.
“I though you would like it.” I said. She gave me a huge hug.
“Thank you. I love it.” She said. She pulled it over her head right away.

We headed off to the arena. Everyone loved Josie in that shirt. I knew it made her night. The boys had a pretty good game, but lost to Detroit. Sid somehow got out before James, so he and Josie headed home. He really enjoyed the shirt as well.

James was talking forever, so I went over to the visiting locker room to say hi to Joey Macdonald, who was from Halifax. I seen James was around the corner so I quickly hugged him and headed off toward James. I went to take his hand but he pulled away. I gave him a funny look.

“What’s wrong.” I asked.
“Nothing.” He snapped back. I never seen him like this.
“Something’s wrong. I haven’t seen you like this before.” I said.
“Just drop it. You coming over.” He asked.
“Not if you’re going to be like this.” I said.
“Whatever AJ. I’ll see you when I get back then.” He said. He just kept walking. I had tears in my eyes.
“You’re really going to do this. What is wrong.” I asked.
“I said nothing.” He said. We were out in parking lot by now, and I was in full tears. I didn’t understand what was going on in his head.

I just left it and headed to my car and drove towards Sidney’s. It was hard to drive, since my eyes were full of water. Josie and Sidney were sitting in the living room when I got back. I went up the back way so they wouldn’t see me crying.

I pulled out my phone as I laid on my bed. James text me.
Come Over.
No.
Why Not.
You’re being dumb.
Whatever AJ. People have bad nights.
No need to take it out on me.
I want to see you before I leave.
When you stop being a dick you can.

I guess all the crying tried me out, I soon fell asleep. I was woken up a little bit later. James had came over.
“AJ, wake up.” He said pushing on my arms. I got a scare.
“What are you doing here” I asked sitting up.
“I wanted to see you.” He said.
“I don’t want to see you.” I said.
“Stop.” He said.
“You started this by being rude and mean.” I said.
“I’m sorry.” He said.
“Good start.” I replied.

He took out his phone and showed me a photo. It was of myself and Sean Couturier, who was on the Flyers and was from New Brunswick, I knew the kid from hockey and he was good friends with my brother. Even though he was on the enemy team, we still talked and when he was in town, like he was a few days ago we try and meet up.

“What does this have to do with anything.” I asked.
“You tell me” He replied.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now” I asked.
“Why didn’t you tell me about this.” He asked.
“He’s a friend from home. I really did not think this was a big deal.” I said.
“No big deal, you could have told me.” He said.
“What are you trying to say.” I asked. Tears running down my face again.

“I’m not saying anything, I’m asking if anything happened.” He asked.
“I did not cheat on you, if you that is what you are trying to ask.” I replied. “I can’t even believe you would think this.”
“Well I find this online and didn’t even know about it. It’s a little hard to actually know what is going on.” James said. I couldn’t even believe this was happening right now.

“After everything I have been through, after all this together, you really think I would cheat on you.” I asked.
“I don’t know.” He said.
“He’s my brothers good friend, It was nice to see a familiar face. I usually don’t get that since I moved.” I shouted back at him.
“I never asked you to move here.” He said.
“This has got to be a joke right now. I never said you did. I did this for me and it was nice that you were also here, but I guess that was all a big mistake.” I said.
I couldn’t deal with this anymore. I couldn’t deal with James anymore. The fact that he would even think I would cheat on him was beyond me. He knew about my past, I had been cheated on before, I had been abused physically and mentally by an ex-boyfriend. James never hit me, but his words tonight hurt more than anything I ever felt before.

I stood up off my bed and grabbed my jacket. I walked out the door. I couldn’t be around him right now. He followed me.
“Where are you going.” James asked.
“Away from you.” I shouted back.
“This doesn’t help the situation.” He said.
“I really don’t give a fuck right now.” I yelled at him. “I can’t be around you right now.”

I grabbed my keys and headed out the door. I got into my drivers seat and pulled out and headed down the road. My phone was ringing. I knew Josie and Sidney would have heard most of the fight. I pulled over and quickly text Josie to tell her I was okay and I needed air. James was calling and texting and I just through my phone.

I pulled back onto the road and began driving down the road once again. Everything was playing back in my head. I just couldn’t believe this all happened. This was really our first fight, but I had no idea how we would get back to way we were.

Then everything went back.