Distance

“Lenny, we’ll be back in like an hour,” I called out. My sister had retreated to her room at some point in the early afternoon, when she had decided that Robert and I were too dull to entertain her. She reappeared now, arms folded across her chest and eyes set firmly.

“Aren’t you supposed to take me with you? I woke up this morning when you and Mom were talking. I went back to sleep after, but I know that you agreed to bring me.”

I let out a breath, trying not to get frustrated with her. It was my first day home, how could I get mad at her already? “Do you really want to come? I’m taking him to the river. It’s really cold today, so we’ll probably only stay for a few minutes.”

There was a shadow of understanding that swept across her narrow face. “Oh. Just be back before Mom and Dad get home, okay?”

I looked at the clock. “It’s only four. We’ll be home in tons of time.”

Robert walked up behind me, zipping up his padded winter jacket. He nodded at Lenny, letting her know that he’d overheard the conversation from a moment ago. I looked down at his bare fingers and shook my head. He hadn’t thought to bring proper gloves. I kicked off my shoes again to go and retrieve some of my own for him to wear. I came back with a pair of thick wool-knit mittens. He raised his eyebrows at me.

“Trust me,” I said, leaving no room for argument before I turned and left the house. The weather had grown progressively worse over the course of the day. Snow was swirling around us in a flurry, and the sun hung low in the sky. It would be dark in less than an hour. That was what I was banking on.

I drove down the residential streets, zig-zagging around cul-de-sacs and trying to go progressively further west. I cut down a back alley, thankful that my parents had let me use the big SUV so I could get through the high snow drifts that blocked the tire paths. The alley ended abruptly, and I threw the vehicle into park. Robert stared at me, his eyes wide open in horror, as I hopped down.

“Where are we?” he asked.

I smiled in a knowing way. “I thought I told you to trust me.”

I led the way, pausing to climb over a farmer’s wooden fence that separated the alleyway from the river valley beyond. The sunlight was starting to fade, and I wanted to get moving. I waited for Robert to join me, but he looked hesitant.

“Are we trespassing, Maggie? Are we going to get in trouble for being here?”

“Yes. And no. Come on, we’re going to miss it if you don’t hurry. I come here all the time in the summer, don’t worry.”

“Great advice,” he grumbled, hauling himself up and over the horizontal boards that separated us. “Just don’t worry about it. Why didn’t I think of that?”

As soon as his feet touched the ground, I started off again. A wide path cut through the dense trees in front of us. I’d never been out here in the winter before, but this place was special to me. I wanted to share it with Robert. The snow was thinner and easier to navigate through once we were in the shelter of the trees. I pointed out fallen logs to watch out for, as well as a chain-link gate that was being used as a bridge across a sinkhole. When we emerged from the trees a few moments later, we were on the top of a steep hill overlooking the river valley. The dying sunlight sparkled on the ice-covered water below, and various animal tracks disturbed the snow everywhere I looked. The trees that cascaded down the hillsides were all bent, weighed down by the jacket of heavy snow that covered their boughs. I could hear Robert inhale, preparing to say something, but I pressed on. This wasn’t what I came here to show him.

I followed the trail that cut from side to side in order to descend the hill. The pathway was icy and dangerous, but I found that as long as I took my time I felt perfectly safe. Robert cursed a few times under his breath as he stuck close behind me. I stopped when we reached a small wooden shack that was held up and levelled by spindly, aged wooden posts. It was barricaded on all sides by stretches of barbed-wire fencing. I winked at Robert over my shoulder before I ducked underneath the building and pulled myself up through the jagged, broken floorboards. All around me were marijuana roaches, broken pipes, and other drug paraphernalia left behind by junkies who came here to get high. I stood still, waiting for Robert to join me.

He seemed to be more than a little confused when he pokes his head through the hole that I’d just snuck in through. “What the hell are we doing here?”

“Come on,” I offered him a hand. “In a minute, you’ll forget about how creepy you think I’m being right now.”

He took my hand, though with our bulky mittens on it was difficult to get a good grip. After a moment of struggle, he was on his knees inside the tiny room. I turned away and pushed my shoulder against a loose panel that covered the doorway. Beyond us lay a narrow, snow-covered bridge. In the summer, it was easy to see which boards on the condemned bridge were soft and rotting. Now, I took my time walking across. I tested each step gingerly before I risked putting my full weight on it. Robert, sensing that this was more dangerous than I would ever admit, followed directly in my vacated footprints.

I reached the middle, then began kicking the hardened snow between the wires that lined the edges of the bridge and toward the river below. Once the worst of it was gone, I reached down and dusted off the boards around me with my mitten. I sat down. At first, Robert simply gaped at me in a mixture of worry and uncertainty. However, as soon as he turned his head to see what I was staring at, he understood. Slowly, he lowered himself down beside me and let his legs dangle precariously over the side of the bridge, just like I was doing. His arm snaked out and wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me close.

The world was on fire. The oranges and reds of the sunset poured over the snow and the ice, painting the entire river valley in a fierce glow. Beyond that, the city lights from the downtown skyscrapers were bright; the Christmas lights in the shape of fir trees starkly illuminating the side of the distant Telus building.

I looked over at Robert, smiling at the way the light reached his face. Every hollow of his bone structure was lit up; there wasn’t a single shadow on his smooth complexion. The spots in his cheeks that had grown cherry red from the bite of the winter wind now glowed a dark crimson in contrast to the rest of his skin. He had pulled the hood of his parka up, and the fur-lined edges had turned from browns and greys into pinks and tans. He looked down at me, noticing the way that I was staring.

“I have to admit, you were right,” he smiled. He turned back to the landscape that was spread out in front of us, and I did the same. “How did you find this place?”

I swallowed dryly. Kellan had been the one who had first taken me here. Of course, he’d only taken me to the top of the hill. I’d come down to the bridge by myself. “A friend showed it to me once. I just kept coming back after that. It’s where I go to get away from everything.”

“So then why did you bring me?” he asked, sounding almost honoured. “Now I’ll know where to find you if you ever get pissed off and leave.”

“Maybe that’s exactly why I brought you,” I replied lightly. “Now you’ll know where to find me. You’ll probably be the only person that I’ll actually want to come and find me if I run off.”

He raised his eyebrows, tightening his arm around me and drawing me closer. “Do you run off a lot?”

“No. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

The sun sunk lower, and the brilliant colours began to fade. I knew that we should have been heading back while we could still see the way clearly, but I didn’t want to move. I was cold, but Robert’s arm around me left a warmth inside of me that counterbalanced the frigid temperature on the bridge.

“I love you, Maggie,” Robert said. His voice was distant and quiet; I wondered if he had even meant to say it out loud.

I gulped. “Really?”

There was laughter in his voice when he responded. “Of course I do. Do you really think that I would have flown across the globe to spend a couple of weeks with you if I didn’t?”

He had a point, but I was still surprised to hear the words. My eyes grew watery, and I blinked rapidly to stop the stinging as the cold reached the excess moisture. “I think I’ve loved you since you took me to see where my family is from. I was just too afraid to be the one to say it first.”

Robert faced me and pressed his lips to mine. They were slightly hardened from the subzero temperature and, I thought, they appeared a little blue. The kiss was quick and sweet; we were too cold to go any further. I cleared my throat.

“We should get back.”

Robert nodded his head in agreement, then paused. “You know, I’d love to, but I’m afraid my ass is frozen to this bridge.”

I laughed loudly, causing a bird to fly away from its perch at the end of the bridge in alarm. I clambered clumsily to my feet, discovering that my legs were nearly numb from the icy air. I helped Robert get up, and we made the long journey back to the waiting vehicle together. By the time we reached my mom’s car, the sky had become and inky navy blue, illuminated only by the golden halos cast from the streetlights around the city. I started the engine and cranked the heat, rubbing my mitten-clad hands along my legs in an effort to increase the blood flow and regain feeling.

I drove us home in the rush-hour traffic. Luckily for me, the house wasn’t all that far from the bridge. When we got home, I handed Robert the keys as we climbed the front steps.

“Can you grab Jax’s leash from the coat closet and bring him to me? I’m going to take him for a run.”

“And you can’t come and get him yourself?” He asked, though he took the keys I was offering.

“If I go in and get warmed up, then I won’t want to come back outside. And I’m just not sure that my family takes him for proper runs. He’s a big dog; he needs more than just a quick walk.”

“Do you want me to come along?” Robert offered as he reached for the doorknob.

“No, that’s alright. Go have some tea and get warmed up. Mom and Dad might beat me home, but you’ll be alright. Just make yourself at home. And treat Lenny like she’s your little sister. You can push her around, it’s fine. I won’t be too long.”

He nodded, then opened the door. I could hear the jingling of the tags on Jax’s collar as the dog bounded over to see who had arrived. I stifled a yawn; I should have been in bed by now, normally. Robert peeled off his mittens as he attached the rope leash to the chain around my dog’s neck. He handed me the handle and I gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

“Would you making me a tea for when I get back?” I asked in my sweetest tone of voice.

He grinned at me. “Sure thing, love.”

“Come on, Jax,” I pulled on the leash and set off down the street, picking up speed as the husky pulled at the rope that connected us. I ran with him for close to half an hour, and by the time we got back I was sweating under my jacket. I stopped just inside the door to wipe off the dog’s paws before I let him run free inside of the house. I hurried to free myself from the various layers of clothing that had protected me from the seasonal weather outside.

“Here, it’s just a plain old green tea, but it’s hot.”

I smoothed down my hair, which was standing straight up from the static it had gained when I’d pulled my sweater over my head. I accepted the mug from Robert, who looked happy to see me. I looked past him to see Lenny staring at me expectantly.

“And what did the two of you do while I was gone?” I asked, not entirely certain that I wanted to know the answer.

“Just getting to know each other a bit,” Lenny said innocently. She batted her eyelashes at me as if that would give evidence to her statement.

I nodded slowly, sipping my tea and walking over to the couch. I sat down, and my sister got a little more comfortable in the chair nearby. When Robert sat next to me, I smiled at him. “Did I ever tell you that when I was five years old I asked for a pony for Christmas?”

“No,” he clearly had no idea where I was going with this. “I don’t think you’ve mentioned that before. But it’s not all that uncommon for a five year old girl, is it?”

“I asked for a pony for Christmas,” I continued. “And my parents told me that we couldn’t have a pony because we lived in the city. Then, a week before my sixth birthday, they told me that since I couldn’t have a pony, I was getting something even better. Turns out, my mom was going into labour. I never got my pony. I got an annoying brat of a little sister instead.”

“Your life has been so much better since I came along, don’t even give me that bullshit,” Lenny shot back at me.

I ignored her. As I sipped my tea, I felt my eyes grown heavy. I leaned my head on Robbie’s shoulder and yawned.

“Tired?” he ran a hand through my hair.

“Yes. It’s past midnight at home. And we haven’t even eaten yet.”

As if they’d heard me, my parents chose that moment to walk in through the front door. Dad was carrying a plastic grocery bag full of Styrofoam take out containers. He kicked off his snow-covered shoes and took the bag into the kitchen.

“We got your favourite, Maggie,” Mom smiled, noticing that I was falling asleep. “We stopped by that diner you like with the yam fries.”

“Da-De-O’s?” I asked, perking up excitedly.

“Yeah, that’s the one. The fifties-looking place,” Dad called out from the kitchen, as if I needed a reminder of what my favourite eatery in the city looked like.

I got up from the couch and motioned for Robert to join me. We all grabbed a sandwich and some sweet potato fries from the various containers that my father had spread across the countertop. As we sat around in front of the television eating, my parents tried to make conversation with Robert.

“So how old are you?” Dad asked as he bit into his pulled pork sandwich.

“I’ll be twenty-five next month,” Robert answered politely as he shoved a fry into his mouth.

“And what do you do for work? Or do you go to school with Maggie?”

“He’s an actor,” Lenny jumped in. I shot her a look, but she didn’t seem to notice it.

“An actor?” Mom sounded highly sceptical of his career choice.

“I wasn’t really sure that I wanted to do it for a living, but it seems to be what I’m good at,” Robert explained.

“He’s actually quite successful,” I added, trying to help him out. “He’s getting more and more work over here now, but he’s kind of a big deal over in Ireland and England. My roommates are positively batty over him.”

“So then why is he with you?” Dad joked.

“Very funny,” I said, though a bit of a smile broke through my bitter façade. “In all honesty, I haven’t figured that part out yet myself.”

Robert pursed his lips together as he looked at me then, pretending to contemplate a complicated problem. “You know what? I’m not really sure either. Maybe it’s time for me to head home, then, and forget this whole weird thing ever happened.”

“Anyways,” I said as I shoved him playfully. “For now, his career is going really well. He really has hardly any spare time, he’s got so many projects on the go. You remember those Mortal Instruments books?” I directed the question toward my sister. When she nodded, I carried on. “Rob is playing Simon in the movie adaptation.”

Lenny made a sour face. “Really?”

“Is that a bad thing?” Robert asked, almost timidly.

“No,” Lenny said hastily. “Not at all. I just didn’t like the ones that came out after the original trilogy, that’s all. In the first ones, Simon was my favourite. In the fourth one, I kind of wanted to punch him. So, you know, have fun with that.”

“There’s more than three books now?” I honestly hadn’t even known. Not that I was that interested in the series anymore anyways. I was starting to grow out of the phase where it was acceptable to read books that were written for preteen girls.

“Don’t bother reading the rest. They were okay, but I don’t think you’ll like them,” Lenny advised.

I nodded. “That’s fair. If the movie series continues and Robbie gets cast, then I might have to read them. Otherwise, I’ll steer clear of them.”

“Where did you grow up?” Mom asked, as if the past several minutes hadn’t even happened.

“Portlaoise,” Robert answered promptly. “I have an older brother and an older sister. Actually, Maggie met my brother before she met me.”

I nodded my head again, though I had honestly forgotten about the way that I’d met Robert and his brother. “Yeah, he runs a vitamin shop in Dublin and represents some kind of supplements. He’s a bodybuilder.” I cast a sideways glance at Robert’s slim build. “If you judged them based on their muscle definition, you would never know that they were brothers.”

“I try!” Robert pouted indignantly. “I try really hard and nobody appreciates it.”

I patted his knee affectionately. “Tomorrow you can come running with me and Jax. We’ll get you beefed up in no time.”

Robert looked as if he were about to offer up some smart assed retort, but he was cut off by his own yawn. I’d been trying to stay awake to get used to this time zone, but suddenly I was reminded of how incredibly exhausted I was. I set my leftovers down on the coffee table in front of me and stretched out my arms.

“Thanks for dinner, guys, but I think I’m going to head off to bed.”

“It’s six-thirty,” Lenny scoffed at me.

“Seven hour time difference, Helen,” I snapped. “Seven hours.”

She held up her hands defensively. “Sorry, it just seems early, that’s all.”

Robert’s knees cracked as he got to his feet. We bid my family goodnight and headed back to my room. I flicked on the light and found Jax curled up in the middle of my mattress. I whistled at him, and he leapt off the bed. When I pointed to the large grey dog bed in the corner, he walked across the room and curled up there.

Robert peeled off his t-shirt, and his eyes closed for longer than an average blink. His breathing was already slowed and deeper than normal. I peeled back the thick blankets and crawled between the sheets as soon as I’d changed my clothes. Robbie lay down next to me. His fingers ran down my spine as he pulled me close.

“You know,” I arched a mischievous eyebrow. “If I wasn’t so sleepy, and my parents weren’t still wide awake, I would definitely be up for having sex after what you said on the bridge today.”

He chuckled. “Maybe we can work out a deal when we wake up at two in the morning.”

My eyes fell shut as I rested my head on his chest. “Goodnight, Robbie.”

He held me tightly, and his body heat felt comforting against me. “Sweet dreams.”