Distance

Christmas morning dawned bright. The sunlight bounced off the crisp blanket of snow that had fallen the day before, making it blinding to look out the window for longer than a moment at a time.

While Lenny hurried to begin passing out the brightly wrapped presents, I disappeared into the kitchen to brew a pot of coffee. Even on Christmas, I needed coffee before I was able to face the day.

Everyone gathered in the living room, dressed in their pajamas and slippers, while I passed out steaming mugs of coffee. I sat on the couch beside Robert. He had confessed to me the night before that he felt out of place joining in on our family Christmas. I understood where he was coming from, but I was glad that he’d agreed to give it a shot. I could only imagine that I would have felt the same way if we’d gone with our original plan and I’d gone to stay with his family for the holidays.

Lenny finished handing everything out, turning the lights on the Christmas tree on before she sat down on my other side. “Go on,” she urged me. “You should start.”

I raised my eyebrows. “My present was my trip here. I’ve already got mine. I’m done.”

“Well, we thought it would be nice if you had something to open,” Mom smiled. “It didn’t cost us anything, don’t worry.”

My sister shoved a thick envelope under my nose. I set my coffee down on the table in front of me before I accepted the package. I ran a finger swiftly under the seal, and pulled out the papers inside. I let out a breath in surprise and happiness. Inside was all of the documentation that I needed to get my second citizenship.

“Wow,” I murmured in awe. “This is amazing. I can’t believe you got it all together so quickly. Thank you so much.”

“Okay,” Lenny said with a grin. “My turn.”

To my family’s credit, they made every effort to include Robert. They got him a present, even though they really hadn’t known enough about him to know what would interest him. In the end he wound up with a new scarf and a couple of gift certificates so we could go shopping for Boxing Day the following morning. In return, he’d gotten my parents a nice bottle of wine.

Robert and I had agreed before we’d come here that we would wait until we were back home in Dublin to exchange gifts. It would just be easier that way, and it was one less thing that we had to pack into our suitcases. In truth, I hadn’t figured out anything to give him yet. I was terrible at finding gifts, and though Robert claimed to have the same trouble, I really doubted that he was having any difficulty with the matter at all.

He lingered in the open area between the kitchen and the living room a few hours later. Mom, Lenny, and I were all bustling about, getting the turkey prepared to go into the oven. Lenny was stirring a large bowl of stuffing while Mom added seasoning to it, and I was stuck tying the bird’s legs and removing the package of innards from the chest cavity. I made a sour face as I threw everything into the garbage.

“Make sure that you put that trash bag into the garage,” Mom reminded me with a mildly stern tone. “If Jax gets into it, you’ll be the one cleaning it up.”

I rolled my eyes, then nodded at Robert. “Hey, since you’re lurking over there anyways, could you help me out with that?”

Robert stepped fully into the kitchen, holding out a hand for the white plastic trash bag. I passed it to him, catching his eye momentarily.

“If you’re sick of watching me gut defenceless frozen poultry, I think my dad is watching Die Hard in the living room.”

“Die Hard?” Robert repeated dumbly.

I smirked. “It drives Mom crazy. He says it’s a Christmas movie. As soon as we get this fucker stuffed and in the oven, I’ll join you.”

“Language, Maggie,” Mom scolded me.

“Sorry,” I apologized over my shoulder. “I meant to say that I was going to join him after we stuffed this magnificent specimen of birdkind.”

Robbie grinned at our exchange. He gave me a sly wink and a quick nod of his head before he disappeared from the room with the trash bag. I hurried to finish what I was doing in the kitchen. As much as I wanted Robert to get the chance to bond with my father, I still felt nervous about the whole thing. I didn’t want to put Robert into any potentially uncomfortable situations, and after my father’s reaction to my decision to get my Irish citizenship, leaving the two of them alone together seemed risky at best.

It was about half an hour later when I made my way into the living room. Dad was perched on the edge of his chair, elbows balanced on his knees as the movie reached its climax. Robert was leaning back where he sat on the sofa, looking as if he were genuinely trying to get interested in the movie but failing spectacularly.

“Yippee kay-yay, motherfucker,” Dad quoted, talking alone with Bruce Willis on the screen.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear that you’ve seen this movie several dozen times before,” I commented in a teasing tone as I crossed the room and sat next to Robbie.

“Shh, it’s almost over,” Dad replied. “Can’t you wait to mock me until then?”

“Actually, I think I’m going to go and take the dog for a walk. Feel like freezing your balls off, Rob?”

“You don’t make it sound very pleasant, but I’ll join you, if that’s what you’re asking.”

I nodded, standing up. “That’s precisely what I was asking.”

The two of us bundled up in our thickest jackets and gloves. The weather was surprisingly mild for late December. The sun was shining and the temperature was tolerable. Jax pulled anxiously at the leash; he was used to me being the only person that took him for proper runs, and he was excited to get to it. I didn’t feel much like running just then.

We turned down the next avenue, which seemed to be deserted. I supposed that it was the time of day that most people were arriving at their loved ones’ homes for Christmas. I felt a sudden wave of crippling guilt at the thought.

“Rob, I’m really so sorry that you aren’t with your family right now,” I said suddenly, breaking the silence that had settled lightly between us. I had felt nothing but happiness at his presence until that very moment, when I became overwhelmed by how much he must have been missing everyone else while he was stuck with me.

“What? Why are you apologizing? Maggie, it was my idea to come with you,” he reminded me, a gentle smile gracing his lips. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be.”

I stopped walking, still inexplicably upset. “But why did you want to come? I mean, I’m going to be back in a few days. We wouldn’t have been apart too terribly long.”

Robert looked at me with a gaze that appeared to be almost proud. “Maybe I was being selfish. We hardly got any time together. I just wanted these few days to be just us, you know? No one knows me here, really. There are no annoying interruptions. If anything, I should be apologizing for monopolizing all of your time while you’re supposed to be visiting your parents. They spent a lot to get you here, and I just kind of intruded.”

“I can’t even begin to express how grateful I am that you came. I’m so glad that we get to have some time together. I get where you’re coming from. But we’ve only known each other a few months. I just can’t really understand why you made such an incredible gesture for someone that you might get tired of at any time. Hell, you could have grown to hate me this week. It’s the first time we’ve been together for this long at once. I’m just… I guess I’m just confused as to how you decided that I was worth it.” I had been feeling these things for a few days now, but I’d kept them buried. I had no idea why I’d decided to let them all out on Christmas, of all days, but it seemed that I could no longer wait patiently for answers.

Robert’s smile widened and he brought a gloved hand to my cheek. “I’ve already confessed that I love you, Maggie. I’d have thought that that would be enough of a reason. But I should have expected this. I came here because I’ve suddenly realized that we don’t have the rest of our lives to see if this amounts to anything. You’re funny and sweet and beautiful, and maybe a bit mad and uncertain of yourself at times. You have no filter, and that is perfect because my similar lack of a filter never embarrasses you. I’ve never heard you say a genuinely hurtful thing purposely, and you are constantly surprising me. I came here, not because I’ve only known you a few months, but because I truly wish I’d known you my entire life. I’ve never felt like I was rushing things with you because you just feel so…” he paused, waving a hand as if it would bring the proper word to his mind. “Familiar,” he finished with a nod, approving his own use of his vocabulary. “I came here because we’ve only got a little while and a few opportunities left before I lose you for God only knows how long. I just wanted to be with you while I had the chance.”

At some point during his speech, my jaw had fallen open. I was staring at him, totally dumbstruck, as he finished speaking. As soon as his words ceased, I drew in a shaky breath. “Nobody has ever said things like that about me,” I admitted. I was so flattered it was overwhelming. “Thank you. For everything. I’m so happy that you’re here with me. I’m sorry that I had to be so stupid and question everything. I’m just not used to this. But I hope we are together long enough that I can get used to it.”

He kissed me then, encircling me in his arms and pulling me close. I wrapped my free arm around his neck, still holding onto the dog’s leash with the other. I closed my eyes and got so caught up in the moment that I forgot that we were standing on a snow-covered sidewalk in the dead of winter. It wasn’t until Jax began whimpering impatiently at my feet that I remembered what was going on.

“I guess we should head back soon,” I sighed, letting the dog lead the two of us further down the sidewalk.

“I suppose. Your mom wouldn’t be too pleased if she had to finish making dinner all by herself,” he agreed. With a tiny chuckle, he continued. “I quite like her, actually. She seems like the type of mother you would see on telly. She’s constantly scolding you, but somehow you know that she’s only that way because she cares.”

“You could say that. But don’t tell her you think she belongs on TV. She’s been plotting for years to find a way to get a reality show. She’s convinced that it’s the only way to get rich quick these days.”

Robert laughed appreciatively, resting his arm across my shoulders. “See? That’s precisely why she should do that very thing.”

“I’m serious, don’t encourage her. The woman watches Honey Boo Boo. There is no telling what kind of reality show she would come up with. I will bring you bodily harm if you tell her to go on TV,” I threatened, raising a hand to point a finger at him.

He ignored me, grabbing the hand that was pointed at him and wrapping his own gloved fingers around mine. We finished our walk in comfortable silence. Inside, I felt warm and gloriously happy. Even when I’d thought I was head over heels for Kellan, I’d never felt anything quite like this. It was miraculous how different love was when it was reciprocated.

“So, Robert, do you have any holiday traditions that you’d like us to do while you’re here?” Mom asked sweetly as we all sat down around the dining room table for dinner.

Robert shrugged and shook his head. “No, not really. Both of my siblings usually have a significant other over for Christmas, so usually I get a good ribbing about being single. But that’s the only real tradition I can think of off of the top of my head.”

I furrowed my eyebrows suspiciously. “I have a hard time believing that,” I said.

“Why? You’ve met Brendan. And don’t all siblings behave that way? I mean, you do the same kind of thing with Lenny,” he added, appearing perplexed by my scepticism.

“No, not that. I mean I have a hard time believing that you are always single. Our second date consisted of a movie premiere and a trip to London.” I paused as I felt a sudden tense twinge in the room. I looked over to look at my father, whose jaw was clenched tightly. “Where I slept on your couch because it was only our second date,” I added the lie in hurriedly. “And shortly after that, you took me to where my grandfather is from. You’re a romantic. I can’t imagine that many girls would turn you down.”

Robbie grinned as he shovelled some mashed potatoes into his mouth. “It’s just not that often that I find someone worth introducing to my parents. They automatically think that if I bring someone home, it means I’m serious about them. So I just don’t do it.”

I ducked my head, looking down at my plate so that everyone wouldn’t see how red my cheeks had gotten.

“Wait,” Lenny interjected. “He took you to London on your second date? Someone was trying a little too hard.”

“Well obviously I fell for it, so,” I trailed off suggestively. My father cleared his throat loudly. “Fell right onto his couch,” I continued with a smirk. “Where I stayed. For the whole weekend.”

“Oh, stop it Maggie,” Mom chided me. “You’re detracting from your own story.”

“I like that a good romantic tale is more important to you than your husband’s sanity,” I said jokingly.

“Hey, none of us get to go off jetsetting all over the place with a celebrity,” Lenny reminded me. “Just let us live through you.”

Since Robert and I had finally gotten our sleep schedules on track, we stayed up with everyone else that night. We watched some new Christmas movie that I hadn’t even heard of, and Dad passed around egg nogg that had been spiked with far too much rum. One by one, everyone else all drifted off down the hallway in search of their beds. We would have to be up early the following morning to get to the Boxing Day sales before the rest of the crowds. Soon enough, it was only Robbie and I that remained awake. It seemed backward compared to how the last few evenings had gone.

I curled up against him and kissed his cheek affectionately. “You’re the best, you know that?”

“Well, I’d always assumed, but it’s nice to get some confirmation,” he replied lightly.

“I’m serious. I really hope that you’re having a good time here.”

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his lap. He kissed me sweetly and nuzzled his forehead against mine. “I’m having the best time. Happy Christmas, Maggie.”

I smiled brightly. “Merry Christmas, Rob.”

The next few days passed us by in a blur. Between shopping, packing, and long, drawn-out goodbyes, it seemed that we hardly had any time to just relax and enjoy our holiday. Robert spent a good deal of our last day arranging things for our return. He asked his brother to pick us up from the airport so that we wouldn’t have to take a cab, and then the group of us were set to carry on together to visit Robert’s parents.

I was incredibly sad to leave, but at the same time I felt more than ready. I wanted to go back to where Robbie and I had started. I was excited to get back to Dublin, especially because it wouldn’t be long and Robert would be back in the city filming. It was the two months between then and now that were going to be hard.

We headed through airport security after having an early breakfast with my family. Mom had then driven us to the airport while Dad and Lenny went back to bed. I wondered how messed up my sleep schedule was going to be when we got back home.

Robert napped in the uncomfortable airport seats, resting his head on my shoulder. By the time we boarded the first plane, it was my turn to do the same to him. I dreaded how incredibly long our journey would take, but I was glad to have someone to share the pain with.

Twenty-one hours later, we arrived in the Dublin airport. Brendan was waiting for us, as he’d promised. He’d even brought us bottles of water and snacks to eat during our car ride to Portlaoise. All the sleeping we’d done on the flights still hadn’t prepared us for our arrival. It felt like it was the middle of the night to us, and it was already morning here.

As the car pulled up in front of a rather nice house, a woman rushed from the front door. She wasn’t as tall as Brendan or Robert, but she was a few solid inches taller than me. Her hair was a rich shade of brown that was peppered with the occasional grey hair. She had kind eyes and a happy smile.

She didn’t wait for Robert to open the passenger door of the car; instead, she yanked it open herself and pulled him out and to his feet. Her arms were around him in an instant, and she appeared to be squeezing him rather tightly. “Welcome home, dear,” she murmured into his shoulder.

As I clambered awkwardly out of the backseat, her attention turned toward me. She looked me up and down, though the smile still hadn’t left her features. I held out a hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Sheehan.”

She gently swatted my hand away, choosing instead to pull me into a hug similar to the one she’d just given her son. I tried to hug her back, but my arms were effectively pinned to my sides under her grip. “You too, sweetheart. Welcome home.”

As Robert gave me an encouraging smile over her shoulder, I relaxed. I hadn’t even set foot inside yet, and it truly did feel like home to me.