Distance

London Calling

My eyes slid slowly, lazily open. As I took in the sight of my unfamiliar surroundings, the events of the previous night came rushing back to me. As if by reflex, my arms tightened around my chest, pulling the bed sheet closer and concealing myself. I noticed that Robert’s arm slid from my arm down to my waist and remained there; he was still asleep.

I slipped carefully out from under the weight of his arm, still clutching the sheet to myself. When it became clear that the bed sheet was not going to come free easily I abandoned it, choosing instead to wrap myself in the navy blue bathrobe that was hanging on the inside of the bedroom door. My bare feet moved silently across the hardwood floor as I left the room and turned on the bathroom light.

The light fixtures above the mirror sprang to life cheerfully, and I blinked rapidly to adjust to the brightness. As I took in my sleep-tousled appearance, I sighed. Slowly, I reached up to wipe away the raccoon eyes that my smeared eyeliner had left behind. Leaning over the sink, I took a moment to splash icy water from the tap across my complexion.

I stared down into the basin as the water swirled away, and I felt an unexpected churning inside of my stomach. I didn’t know what I was doing anymore. Who was I becoming? I was using Robert to make me forget about Kellan, and the thought deeply disturbed me. I genuinely liked Robert. He didn’t deserve someone like me. But maybe I could learn to put him first. The idea wasn’t totally preposterous. He had shown more interest in me in two dates than Kellan had in several years. But it wasn’t so simple as just forgetting someone who I had loved for so long.

A ghostly arm wrapped itself around my waist as an invisible body pressed itself up behind me. I jumped in alarm, looking up into the mirror to find Robert grinning groggily. His eyes blinked slowly, but he looked happy.

“Morning,” he said softly.

“Good morning,” I replied with a smile.

He released me, taking a moment to look at the state I was in. His expression clouded ever so slightly. “Are you alright?”

I nodded, turning away from the mirror to look at him directly. “I’m fine.”

“Oh no,” he murmured. “We went too fast, didn’t we? Maggie, you should have said something. I never intended to pressure you.”

I couldn’t stop the confusion from pulling my eyebrows together. “What do you mean? Robert, I never felt pressure from you. Ever. I could have asked you to stop at any time. But I didn’t want to. I don’t regret what happened last night. I had fun.” I didn’t want to tell him the real turmoil going on inside of me. I didn’t want to hurt him. What was the point in telling him everything when we both knew I would be leaving forever in a matter of months?

His smile returned, and he planted a kiss on my forehead. “If you want, we can go and get some breakfast before I take you back home.”

I shrugged. “There’s no rush. I don’t really need to go to class today.”

He made a disapproving clucking noise with his tongue. “I refuse to be the one that causes you to fall behind on your studies. Do you need to have a shower before we leave?”

I stretched up an arm and sniffed my armpit in a most unladylike fashion. I still smelled like my floral antiperspirant. “I’m not too bad, I suppose.”

Robert rolled his bright eyes. “Let me rephrase that: do you want a shower?”

“Yes, please.”

“I’ll grab you a towel. And I’ll try to round up your clothes.”

I felt my entire face burn in embarrassment. “Oh come on, if I remember correctly, there was one solid path to the bedroom. It’s not like we stopped to throw garments into every room we passed.”

He raised his thick eyebrows. “Didn’t we?”

I pushed him out of the bathroom. “Just go find my underwear, please.”

The hot water scalded my skin, and for a few blissful moments I managed to focus on only the heat. I didn’t hear the door reopen, but Robert’s voice yanked me from my stupor.

“There’s a towel hanging on the rack, and I put your clothes on the counter. You appear to be missing a sock, and I cannot find it for the life of me. Do you need anything else?”

“No, I think I’m okay. Thanks, Robbie.”

“You can use my toothbrush if you want. I don’t have any extras lying around right now. But I mean, your tongue was in my mouth, so I’m pretty sure that it should be okay if you use it.”

I peeked my head out from behind the checkered shower curtain. Robert was leaning casually against the counter near the sink. He was still only dressed in his blue boxer shorts. He smiled at me.

“What time is your class at?”

“I told you,” I replied lightly as I turned the faucet and cut the water off. “I’m not going.” I reached out and took the fluffy red towel from the rack where it was hanging. I wrapped it around myself tightly, tucking in the corner before pulling back the curtain and stepping out onto the cold floor.

“Yes, you are,” he argued.

I batted my eyelashes, though I knew that the effort was wasted when I didn’t have any mascara on. “You mean you don’t want to hang out with me today?”

Robert scowled at me. “You know that’s not it.”

“Then what is it? One day off won’t kill me.”

After a moment of hesitation, he shrugged. “Who am I to judge? I would do the same thing if I were you. Get dressed, then. I’ve got to go home today.”

I paused, openly stunned. I gestured to the room around us. “This isn’t home?”

His eyes glittered. “Not all that much happens here in Dublin. I mean, I’ll be back soon enough to film the new series of Love/Hate, but most of the time I live in London.”

“And you have to go today?”

He grinned widely. “I’ve had a couple of weeks off, Maggie. I have to go to work. I’ve got a new project starting. Do you have any idea what it’s like for someone like me to sit idle for weeks at a time?”

“Why do you even have an apartment here?”

Robert let out a breath that sounded almost like a chuckle. “I just said that I have to film here in a couple of months. I wouldn’t want to be a burden on my brother by staying at his for months on end, so I just keep my flat. Come on, get ready. We’ll swing by yours so you can get your passport.”

I let out a choked noise from the back of my throat. “You actually want to take me to London?”

He nodded, and his eyes were serious. “It’s Friday, isn’t it? Just take a long weekend.”

“And how do you recommend that I get home on Sunday?”

“They have these things called planes. They’re really quite spectacular. You should try one sometime.”

I shook my head. “No, I can’t afford that. Do you have any idea how hard I worked just to save up the money to come here? I can’t just go off jetsetting across the continent.”

“I’ll fund this trip. And don’t argue,” he said sternly as I opened my mouth to do that very thing. “It’s really not that much. Besides, I want to do this for you. I know that deep down you want to see London before you leave and go back to Canada. Let me be your personal tour guide.”

I wanted to fight him on this. I had always found pride in my independence. But, as Robert had so kindly pointed out, I wouldn’t get this chance again. I frowned deeply. “Fine. Shoo, so I can get dressed.”

He stepped out of the room. He was about to close the door behind him, but he froze and stuck his head back inside. “Care for a tea before we go? It’s about all I’ve got in the house.”

“Yeah, thanks,” I replied leaning over the bathtub and wringing out the excess water from my hair.

“Any particular kind? I’ve got a couple of breakfast teas, and some Earl Grey.”

I smiled. “I love this about you. Back home, guys don’t drink tea. And now here you are, and not only do you have it in your cupboard, but you know the differences between flavours. That’s amazing. I would love a breakfast tea. I don’t really care which one, though. I like them all.”

When I left the bathroom a few minutes later, I was greeted with a steaming ceramic mug. I accepted it gratefully, and Robert immediately swapped places with me. “Make yourself at home, I’ll only be a minute,” he called out through the closed door.

I sat down on one of the bar stools in his kitchen, and a sudden dread filled me. I had run away when Kellan had left, and now Robert was leaving too. Not only did I have nowhere else to run to, but I wasn’t ready to leave this place yet. But there was a key difference here: Robert was making an extraordinary effort to include me. It all seemed very strange; we hardly knew each other, yet he was taking me on what was essentially a foreign holiday. For some reason, none of it seemed out of place. It genuinely felt like we were supposed to be doing this. I knew that my mother would kill me if she knew. Whirlwind romances rarely worked out, and she would be worried about what would happen to me when this one fell apart. She was the voice of reason, and I had to admit that she was usually right. I, on the other hand, just didn’t want to imagine what would happen to me if – or when – Robert and I found that this wasn’t working out. I wanted to live in this dreamland forever.

I sipped the tea, closing my eyes and daring myself to let my mind run free. For a blissful moment, I was living in the lap of luxury. I was in a classy hotel, with a four-post bed and a balcony that opened up over the ocean. When I turned around, it was Robert that was standing with me. I reopened my eyes, realizing that I liked him more than I had originally thought.

He appeared then, shaking water droplets from his hair. It appeared as if he hadn’t taken the time required to properly dry himself off. His clothes stuck to his lanky body, and wet patches swelled out from his skin to the fabric. He began to clean up the kitchen, though all that had been used was a kettle and a couple of mugs.

“Are you finished with your tea? We should get going soon. We’ve got to stop by your flat so you can pack a bag, and I’ve already booked you a plane ticket so that we’re on the same flight.”

“When did you have time to do that?” I asked, shocked by his efficiency.

“While you were in the shower. By the way, I think I found your other sock. It was in the bathroom the entire time.”

I pulled up my pant legs quickly to show off my bare ankles. “No, that’s the same one you brought me earlier. I figured it was easier to just go without socks.” I hopped down from the stool and crossed the room to offer up my empty mug. “Thanks, Robert. For everything.”

It didn’t take long for us to reach my dorm. He ran up with me, probably hoping to hurry me along. As soon as I opened the front door, I heard a squeal.

“Maggie? Is that you?”

I sighed, flashing Robert an apologetic glance. “Yes, it’s me.”

Breanne, along with both of my other roommates, rushed into the room. Zoey and Samantha both looked simply flabbergasted by the fact that Robert was in the room, but Breanne ignored his presence altogether.

“You’re famous,” she gushed. “Someone got a picture of the two of you getting out of the limo together last night. All these fans online hate you. It’s fantastic!”

I staggered back a bit. “They hate me? Why?”

“They’re jealous,” Samantha piped up. “Don’t take it personally, Maggie.”

“Not all of them hate you,” Zoey added in a reasonable voice. “Some had nothing but good things to say about you. I think it’s hilarious, personally. They don’t even know your name.”

“I…” I stopped. I knew it was silly to feel overwhelmed just then. My roommates were likely blowing it out of proportion, just because they saw it as a far bigger issue than the rest of the world did. I cleared my throat. “I have to go pack a bag. I’ll see you guys next week.”

“Next week?” Breanne demanded. “But where are you going?”

“To London. Just for a few days,” Robert clarified. “She’ll be back for school on Monday.”

I let out a small, somewhat argumentative cough, but I said nothing. I knew that I would, in fact, be home for school. I couldn’t afford to flunk out in my last year. Once I was inside my room, I began tossing clothes into a small suitcase. I had no idea what I might need in London. As I zipped the bag closed, I remembered that I hadn’t grabbed my passport. That was a rather important thing that I just couldn’t afford to forget. Robert watched in silence, as if a conversation would distract me too much from the task at hand.

“I’m ready,” I announced, pulling the suitcase off of the bed and letting it fall to the floor.

Robert stopped inspecting the pictures of my family and friends that I had posted on the wall. He faced me with an excited grin. “Let’s go, then.”