Distance

The more I talked to Robbie, the more I cared about him. He was too good to be true. The only flaw that I could find in him was that he didn’t live closer. He had an offensive sense of humour, which I knew was a turn-off to a lot of people, but it matched my own perfectly.

We spent the rest of the weekend in his apartment. We ordered in some food, and we watched movies on the TV. I was terribly sad to leave, but Robert swore that we would see one another again soon. And until then, we had the phone.

“Tell us everything!” Breanne demanded as soon as I opened to door to our place. I paused in the doorway, looking around as if to ensure that she was speaking to me instead of someone else.

“There’s not much to tell,” I said. “We hung out at his apartment all weekend. Then I came home, because he won’t let me skip any more school. Say what you will about the guy, but he is damn determined that I won’t fail a class because of him.”

Zoey walked out of her bedroom, frowning at me. “Well he’s right, you know.”

I narrowed my eyes slightly. “You’re starting to sound like Samantha. Where is she, anyway?”

“There’s a floor meeting,” Breanne replied dismissively.

“And you aren’t there because…?”

“The same reason you aren’t,” she retorted.

I furrowed my brow. “I just got home.”

“Exactly,” she smirked, her green eyes glittering. “You just got home. We had to hear everything. I don’t have time to waste talking about proper recycling procedures when you’ve just spent three days in London with Robert Sheehan!”

I hung up my jacket and kicked off my shoes. “You can stop using his full name at any time, by the way. It’s weird. Just call him Robert.”

“That’s easy for you to say. To us, it seems weird to just use his first name. It’s not like we know him on a personal level. That’s where you come in,” Zoey smiled. “You get to tell us what he’s really like. That way, one day maybe we will feel comfortable calling him Robert.”

I dropped my bag beside the table and sat down. I knew that I might as well get comfortable before getting into this conversation. Breanne would make it impossible for me to do anything constructive at all until I had spilled my guts. I was kind of grateful that Samantha – always the voice of reason in this house – had yet to ask me a single question about Robert that had anything to do with his job. Although, now that I thought about it, I hadn’t really seen her since Robbie had taken me to the movie premiere.

I started my recap of the past few days with the movie premiere. I had only managed to get out a couple of sentences before Breanne interrupted me with a jealous little squeak.

“You met Ben Barnes?” she pouted.

“He’s pretty much the nicest guy ever. I hung out with him at Robbie’s on Friday night, too. He keeps texting me with random stories about Robert, actually. It’s driving Robbie absolutely mental.”

Breanne’s pout turned into a full-on scowl of indignation. “You get to text him, too?”

“He’s got a girlfriend,” I said gently, as if I were letting her down. “I can’t set you up with him. Sorry, Breanne.”

“Can you ignore her for five minutes and get on with the rest of it?” Zoey interrupted, folding her arms over her narrow chest. “How was the movie?”

I pressed on, leaving out various details that were a bit too personal to expose in this impromptu story time. These girls were my only real friends here, but I was still unsure about telling them certain things. For example, I left out any hint that Robbie and I had slept together. I just didn’t feel comfortable talking about it. To me, things like that were always best kept private.

As I was finishing my story, Samantha walked in. She looked both exhausted and flustered all at once; her blonde hair was tied back in a half-hearted attempt at a ponytail, and limp locks fell around her face. She closed her eyes for a long moment, and I quickly wrapped up my monologue. When I was finished, she looked at me with a resigned expression in her dark brown eyes.

“The meeting didn’t really concern us,” she said, throwing herself down into the chair across from me at the table. “Someone on the floor below us got caught letting someone else live in her room without alerting the staff, so now every floor is kind of cracking down on the guest policy.”

The rest of us nodded our heads in understanding. I really liked our group dynamic. Samantha was always the one who was willing to go to the floor meetings and report back to us with what we had missed. She was definitely a take-charge kind of girl.

“I should go and check my email,” I excused myself. “I haven’t done that in a few days. My parents have probably been trying to get in touch with me.”

I curled up on my bed a few moments later, pulling my laptop up to my knees and turning it on. As soon as it finished booting up and I was connected to the internet, a notification popped up in the corner of my screen. I clicked on the message box, and the image of my parents’ living room appeared in front of me.

“Hey guys,” I said, even though there was no one in front of me. It only took a moment for my mother to appear, looking both excited and upset. It was an odd facial expression, and I smiled weakly in response. I was in trouble, and I knew it.

“Oh thank God, Maggie. Where have you been? We’ve been waiting to hear from you for three full days!”

The lines in her face were hard and deep, making my stomach drop with guilt. My mother was stressed enough already, she didn’t need any more grief from me. She ran a hand through her greying hair. She really looked a lot older than she really was.

“I’m sorry, I kind of forgot about keeping in touch. I made a new friend, and I haven’t been home.”

She nodded her head, sighing loudly. “That’s good. I’m glad that you’re starting to make friends. But please remember to let us know when you’re going to be away from your computer for extended periods of time. You know that we worry.”

“I know, Mom. I really wasn’t anticipating staying over all weekend. Where’s everyone else?”

“Your father took your sister to visit your grandparents today. They’ve moved into the nursing home now.”

“Oh,” I said, feeling slightly numb. By far, the worst part about being so far from home was these moments where my family told me everything that I was missing out on. These were things that I could never get back. I suddenly wanted to be back in London, where Robert could make a joke and get me to smile. Or at the very least he could give me a hug.

“They’re fine,” Mom said hurriedly, as if realizing how hollow her casual statement had made me feel. “They’ll still be here when you come home. Don’t worry about this, Maggie. It’s pointless to get worked up when you’re over there. If they ever do take a turn for the worse you’ll be the first to know. They just can’t take care of themselves anymore, that’s all. They need a bit of help.”

I cleared my throat forcibly, trying to dislodge the lump that had gathered there. “I know, it’s just hard sometimes. It’s only October, Mom. I won’t be home for a long time.”

Mom shook her head. “It’ll be alright, dear. You worked so hard for this; try to enjoy yourself. Tell me about your new friend,” she urged, smiling gently.

I found that I didn’t really want to tell her about Robert just yet. My mom knew how I had felt about Kellan, and I was nervous about how she might judge me. I shrugged in as nonchalant a way as I could manage. “It’s nothing that exciting. People make friends all the time.”

“I was just trying to start a conversation. You never really tell me much about what goes on there. You’re always so busy with school. I’m really glad that you took a weekend off. Did you do any sightseeing?”

“Actually, no. We were going to, but then I kind of got lazy. There’s a lot of time left to see the things that I want to see.”

“That’s absolutely right, you – Jax, get off the couch!” Mom turned away from the webcam to scream at my dog, who was somewhere out of my line of vision. When she looked back at me, the crease between her eyes had deepened and her thin lips had slid down into a scowl. “I swear, Maggie, that dog is rebelling. He sleeps in your room, and he jumps onto the couch to watch for you out the window.”

I felt the prick of tears against my eyes. I missed Jax. The husky had been a birthday gift when I was ten. “That’s so sad,” I murmured longingly. “My poor puppy.”

Mom rolled her eyes. “He’s a bit big to be jumping on the furniture. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get his fur out of my suede couch?”

I smirked. “It can’t be any worse than getting it out of all of my sweaters.”

I heard a crash somewhere in the distance. “Oh, God damn it!” Mom cursed. “He knocked my water glass off of the coffee table with his tail. I’ve got to go and clean that up.” She paused and glanced down at her wrist watch. “I guess it’s nearly eight there, isn’t it? Have a good rest, dear. Have fun at school tomorrow. I love you.”

“Love you too, Mom. Tell everyone that I said hi.”

She nodded her head briskly and disconnected from our video chat. I stared at the image of my computer desktop for a long moment before I set my laptop aside. I dug out my phone and skimmed through my contacts. I punched a button on the touch screen and put the phone to my ear.

“Hi,” the now-familiar, comfortable voice answered. “How was your flight?”

“It was fine,” I replied, leaning back against my pillows. “I wish I could have stayed longer. I just talked to my mom, and it kind of depressed me. I feel like there are so many other places that I should be right now. I just hoped that, since you don’t usually live all that close to your family, you would understand.”

“I remember what it was like when I first moved away. I was so busy that I didn’t have time to miss anyone, but when I took a moment to slow down, it hurt like hell. It gets easier, though. I promise you that. And I’ll be around. I’ll help you get past the hard parts.”

I smiled, letting out a light breath. He had already made me feel better. It was simply amazing how a quick conversation with someone who shared your painful experience could make that experience seem less threatening. “Day by day, it’s not so bad. Then one thing will happen and it just sets me off. I can hardly imagine what the holidays are going to be like. But I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Thanks, Robert. You have no idea how much I appreciate you talking me through these things. I know you’re probably getting sick of it already.”

“Not at all. Don’t mention it. I like talking to you.”

I was glad he couldn’t see how flushed my face became in that moment. I pulled my blanket tighter around myself, as if that would hide me from my own blossoming emotions. “Are you excited to go back to work this week?”

“Yeah,” he said enthusiastically. “I really am. Maybe one day I can give you a tour of the set.”

“Absolutely. I’d love that. Anyways, I guess I should let you go so that you can get some sleep and prepare yourself.”

“Actually, I can’t see myself falling asleep anytime soon. Unless you’re just trying to find a polite way to get rid of me, that is.”

I smirked, flipping open my laptop once again so I could check my email while remaining on the phone. “I would never,” I said.

Amazingly, even after spending several days alone together, Robert and I still found things to talk about. Conversation was so easy with him. I really felt like I wasn’t trying at all.

“Tomorrow night I’ll probably go out for a few drinks with some of the other cast. That’s usually what I wind up doing after the first day of shooting. So feel free to text me, but I might not be anywhere that I can take a call.”

“That’s fine. Texting works for me, too. Maybe I’ll have some drinks with my roommates. I feel like I’ve been neglecting them lately.”

“I’m sure they’ll love that. Especially the redheaded one. I don’t know if I’ve ever met anyone that excitable.”

I snorted as I thought of Breanne. It was true, though. She was always over-enthusiastic. I was about to reply, but a red notification on my laptop screen caught my eye. I had a new email. I clicked on it, then felt my chest constrict as Kellan’s name appeared in front of my eyes.

Hey Maggie, how are things? I feel like we haven’t been talking much lately, and I’m sorry. I’ve been really busy here lately. I have yet to find a way to smuggle a koala bear home in my suitcase for you, but I’m working on it.

How is Ireland? You really haven’t said much about it. I don’t know what I’ll do when I get home in four months and you aren’t there. I miss you. I actually miss you more than I ever thought I would. Be safe and keep in touch. I can’t wait until we both get home and I can see you again.

-Kellan

I closed the laptop screen, as if that would make the message disappear, right along with my guilt. I let out a small, choked cough.

“Maggie? Are you okay?”

I had forgotten that Robert was still on the line. “I’m fine,” I lied, hoping that my tone didn’t expose the tidal wave of horrible feelings washing through me. I felt despicable for letting Kellan carry on caring about me in that way. But I still felt that way for him, didn’t I? I was so unbearably confused. “I was just reading an email, that’s all. Nothing important.”

There was a heavy pause, and I knew that Robert didn’t believe that there was nothing wrong. Still, somehow, I felt that there was nothing to be gained by telling him what was bothering me. In six months I would be back home, and Robert would likely have found someone else. Someone better. Someone worthy.

“Look, Maggie, I’m really sorry that I had to leave right when we were getting to know one another. I’ll get my schedule tomorrow, and I’ll let you know as soon as I’m able to come visit. I don’t want you to feel like I’m abandoning you like your other friend did.”

I was truly touched. “It’s really okay. You have a job, I understand that. It’s not like I have a complex or anything. People are allowed to leave me to live their lives. That includes you.”

“Good. Because I really like you.”

“I’m pretty sure that it’s obvious that I really like you, too.”

“That’s just because you like that I’m on the telly sometimes,” he replied in a teasing tone.

“Let’s be honest here, I really only like you for your money. And also because you seem to be something of an alcoholic, and that’s a cause I can really get behind,” I said sarcastically. It was incredibly difficult for me to remain in a bad mood when I was talking to Robert. If that fact never changed, I knew that I was going to have an incredibly hard time when I had to eventually say goodbye.

As Robert continued to joke around with me and brighten my spirits, I decided that all the worrying that I was doing was pointless. I had come to this country to have a good time, and there was no reason for me to be upset about the fact that I had found someone who helped me do exactly that.