Chill

He blew me off. He blew me off. I can’t believe it.

Even after the school day had ended, I couldn’t stop thinking about the way Logan had walked off this morning. It was a completely different Logan than the one that had shown himself to me at the coffee shop. I was disappointed in him… but more importantly, I was disappointed in myself for believing him to be different. Who had I been kidding? I was the quiet, pathetic shy girl that no one paid attention to, and he was the epiphany of popularity. I had been foolish to think that his smile meant anything.

I was walking to my locker to pick up a few books when I heard someone calling my name. I looked back to see Kelsey running towards me, her blonde ponytail swinging from side to side as she did.

Kelsey had changed, but it wasn’t a bad thing. Out of the three of us – Marissa, Kelsey, and I – Kelsey had always been the most cheerful, outgoing one. So it wasn’t a surprise that she had decided to try out for the cheerleading squad this year – and got in. Now instead of sitting with Marissa and me at the football games, Kelsey was jumping and yelling with the rest of the cheerleaders on the sidelines, wearing bright orange spirit paint on her face. She looked happy and at home, like she belonged there.

“Hey, Kelsey,” I said, opening my locker and taking the books out. “What’s up?” I started putting the books in my bag, anything to avoid eye contact with her.

Kelsey didn’t miss a thing. She knew me far too well for that.

“What’s wrong?” she asked right away.

I sighed. “Did Marissa tell you what happened with Logan and I this morning? I would have told you myself at lunch, but I didn’t want to bother you.”

Kelsey sat with the other cheerleaders two days out of the school week. Marissa and I didn’t mind… or at least I pretended not to. The cheerleaders were some of the many people who made my life miserable, after all. It was hard to forget that, and sometimes it was even difficult to accept that Kelsey was one of them now.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Allie,” Kelsey chided. There was nothing off-putting about her tone. On the contrary, she sounded like a doting mother looking after her child. “Yes, Marissa told me, but you could have told me yourself. Don’t be afraid to talk to me during lunch, Allie. They won’t bite.” She was referring to the other cheerleaders, of course.

I loved Kelsey like a sister, but sometimes she was so naïve. She couldn’t see that even if she was a cheerleader now, her new “friends” didn’t treat me any different than they had before. I didn’t want to accuse her of being blind, though. That’s not what a friend does.

“Maybe next time,” I said. “As for what happened with Logan… Well, don’t worry about it. It’s nothing. I just… I read too much into his smile.”

Kelsey gave me a sympathetic look and pulled me into a hug.

“Don’t worry, Allie,” she whispered into my ear. “You’ll find a boy that loves you for you. I know it.”

I really wanted to believe her. But after being teased and blown off so many times, I was really beginning to doubt that there would ever be love in my life.