Cold Gin 2

I jostle to get to the front of the queue, and charge through the theatre to get to the front in record time. I position myself to the right of the stage, where I know Ace will be in less than half an hour. I’m pushed closer and closer to the barrier as screaming girls surround me and begin to throw their bras onto the stage, which are swiftly collected by roadies by the side of the stage- probably to prevent any accidents with the pyrotechnics.

“YOU WANTED THE BEST, YOU GOT THE BEST, THE HOTTEST BAND IN THE WORLD...KISS.”

Memories come flooding back, and I can’t stop a tear rolling down my cheek. Holy shit, I’ve already turned into an emotional wreck. I forget my feelings for a second, wipe the tear away and get ready to immerse myself in the atmosphere. The show is truly an assault on the senses, from Gene’s blood spitting and Peter’s floating drums to Paul’s leaping and the rockets shooting out of Ace’s guitar. I’m mesmerised by Ace’s stage presence, and the “O” he forms in the middle of the Black Diamond solo sends shivers down my spine, and reminds me of...that night.

“OH MY GOD! HE’S SO AMAZING!” a girl cries next to me. I scream in agreement.

Next comes Strutter, one of my all time favourites, so I really can’t help but sing along as Paul offers the microphone to the audience and puts his hand to his ear in a “I-can’t-hear-you” gesture. The KISS army sing along as one, and the feeling of solidarity has never been stronger. No matter how much of a loser you are in real life, when you’re at a KISS concert, you feel like you’re surrounded by all your best friends.
As the concert draws to a close, I look around for some roadies. They’ve all crowded over to ‘protect’ Gene from his adoring female fans, and I start to feel a bit anxious. Then I spot him. Eddie. The old roadie was meandering down between the barrier and the stage. As the final chord sounds around the theatre I yell his name. His neck whips round to follow the call, and he sees me. He walks over, and I offer him the signed hand. He examines the signature and then helps lift me over the barrier. The gap is filled immediately by other girls trying to get over. I’m backstage. The adrenaline circles around in me and my throat goes dry. I follow him behind the curtain, and silently he takes me to the dressing room. I push the door open slightly, and I hear a part of the conversation that makes me sick to my stomach.

“...those filthy groupies. I’ve got no time for those whores.”

I back out immediately and try to compose myself. They were right. I was disgusting. I knew Ace was married, but I still couldn’t resist. I turn to walk away, and instead I walk right into Ace’s chest. My head empties itself of all its thoughts in the face of my hero and I want to embrace him, but I keep my distance. I can tell he’s sobered up throughout the concert, and he looks at me with a pained expression. He’s going to tell me to leave. Instead he looks me right in the eye, and says:

“Roxy, just give me an hour, ok? You see that door on the left? That’s Gene and Paul’s room, I’ll get you when I ‘m ready.” And with that, he leans down and kisses me tenderly but quickly on the lips. He nudges me towards the door, and I burst into the other dressing room. And it’s empty.

“Like your soul.” The voice in my head mutters.

I ignore my conscience and wander around aimlessly, before sitting down in front of a mirror surrounded by lights in order to reapply my make-up. I empty the contents of my make-up bag onto the table and start with another layer of foundation. Ten minutes later, my face is restored to the pre-concert condition, and Gene and Paul burst in.

“...I’m telling ya, nobody had jugs bigger than—” Paul stops midway “Hey, you’re the lady we saw earlier. How did you get back here?”

“Oh, well, Gene and Eddie helped me out.” I smile, nodding at Gene who flashes a shark grin right back at me.

“No problem,” Gene replies “Hey, Roxy, come and join us on the sofa.”

I oblige, but I still wonder how much longer Ace will be. I sit down in between Gene and Paul, who have both turned to face me. Without the alcohol I feel like a recluse between these two massive egos.

“We’ve got matching lipstick on tonight,” Paul notes. He puts me at ease with a shy, boyish grin.

“Mine’s cherry flavoured – wanna try it?”

I stare at him for a second. His jawline is perfectly formed, and his bone structure makes him resemble a Greek God. He is literally so beautiful it hurts. It’s hard but I try to buy a little more time before I jump this guy’s bones right on this sofa.

“Yeah, sure, which make-up bag is yours?” I get up and pretend to rifle through a make-up bag.

Paul laughs softly, then says:

“You won’t find it there, it’s over here.”

I know exactly what it means. And since I’m going to be committing adultery tonight anyway, I turn and walk back over to him, wedge myself in between him and Gene and kiss his him roughly on those perfect red lips. Ace had probably had dozens of girls in the year I hadn’t seen him, so I sure as hell wasn’t going to miss out on what I thought was a perfect opportunity. After what seems to be an eternity, I feel a tap on my shoulder, and Gene coughs to let me know of his presence. I divert myself from Paul for less than a second, but this is enough for Gene, who moves in swiftly, sticking his long tongue down my throat. I wasn’t going to lie, it wasn’t that bad, but before we could get anything started, I hear a crash as the door is kicked in, and Jeanette Frehley storms in, slightly tipsy, and obviously enraged.

“I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE PAUL. I’M GETTING OUT OF HERE. BYE GUYS.” She shouts emotionally at Paul and Gene, and at first I’m wondering why on earth she’s angry at Paul. Then it hits me, she’s so mad she’s calling Ace by his first name. Sure enough, Ace bursts in through the door with a beer in his hand, begging her not to go, but she ignores him and runs out in tears. I want to go after her and give her a hug or something because even though I’m supposed to hate her, she’s a crying woman, but I’m so stunned I just stay rooted to the spot. Ace collapses onto a chair with his head in his hands, and the room is completely silent as we all realise what’s happened. Ace takes in a deep breath and looks up to see me sitting in between Paul and Gene. More silence. Then he stands up and says:

“C’mon Roxy, let’s go.”

I look at Paul and Gene apologetically, but they seem alright about it, and help me off the sofa. I wave goodbye as I trail after a heartbroken Ace.

“She’s left me for good this time, hasn’t she?” He mumbles to me.

I pat his back reassuringly and take his hand in mine before I lead him out of the theatre.

“My apartment is five minutes away...will you spend the night?” I ask.

“Yeah,” He sighs “You’re too good to me, sweetheart.”