Status: enjoy.
Postcards and Polaroids
Chapter 106.
I opened my eyes to be almost face to face with Taylor. Who was still sleeping. His arm still wrapped tightly around me. I sighed. His breathing was still light and slow.
It wasn’t the same. He wasn’t Kellin.
I looked at my phone. Still nothing.
Every time I checked, it hurt less and less, because every time I checked I accepted the fact that Kellin was better off without me. He didn’t want me anymore. The sadness rushed back.
No matter what I did, I’d never be able to replace the feelings that Kellin gave me. That special sense of happiness. His love, and his caring heart. How he was always so gentle, and attentive. He was perfect. He was perfect for me. I needed him back. I needed to be waking up to Kellin, not to Taylor. I needed that mop of hair, those blue eyes, that beautiful smile. I needed his hands in mine. I needed to be kissing his lips. I needed him. I slowly got up, mindful of Taylor, extremely cautious not to wake him, and went right outside my room. I called him. It went to voicemail.
“Hey Kellin..” I bit my lip. I really hadn’t gone into this with any ideas. “I.. I’m just.. I’m.. just calling.. wondering how you’re doing.. you.. you can just ignore this. Just forget it.” I quickly hung up. I froze. My stomach was in knots, my legs were weak. Why was it so difficult to talk to him? I leaned against the wall. After a few minutes, I decided to call him back. Straight to voicemail again.
“Hey again.. um.. listen.. I.. Kellin I.. this.. this is hard to say.. I.. I just.. I miss you. I’m sorry about everything.. please don’t let it end like this.. callmepleaseIloveyou..” I hung up. My heart was racing. I would anxiously be waiting until I heard from him again.
I quietly went back inside, gently crawling back into bed. Taylor shifted, and pulled me close again.
“Where’d you go?” He mumbled.
“Bathroom.” I whispered. He nuzzled his face in my neck, holding me closer. He gently kissed my neck, and sighed. I turned to get closer. I gently touched his cheek. He smiled before dozing off again.
I rolled back over, facing my back to Taylor. I wanted Kellin.
It wasn’t the same. He wasn’t Kellin.
I looked at my phone. Still nothing.
Every time I checked, it hurt less and less, because every time I checked I accepted the fact that Kellin was better off without me. He didn’t want me anymore. The sadness rushed back.
No matter what I did, I’d never be able to replace the feelings that Kellin gave me. That special sense of happiness. His love, and his caring heart. How he was always so gentle, and attentive. He was perfect. He was perfect for me. I needed him back. I needed to be waking up to Kellin, not to Taylor. I needed that mop of hair, those blue eyes, that beautiful smile. I needed his hands in mine. I needed to be kissing his lips. I needed him. I slowly got up, mindful of Taylor, extremely cautious not to wake him, and went right outside my room. I called him. It went to voicemail.
“Hey Kellin..” I bit my lip. I really hadn’t gone into this with any ideas. “I.. I’m just.. I’m.. just calling.. wondering how you’re doing.. you.. you can just ignore this. Just forget it.” I quickly hung up. I froze. My stomach was in knots, my legs were weak. Why was it so difficult to talk to him? I leaned against the wall. After a few minutes, I decided to call him back. Straight to voicemail again.
“Hey again.. um.. listen.. I.. Kellin I.. this.. this is hard to say.. I.. I just.. I miss you. I’m sorry about everything.. please don’t let it end like this.. callmepleaseIloveyou..” I hung up. My heart was racing. I would anxiously be waiting until I heard from him again.
I quietly went back inside, gently crawling back into bed. Taylor shifted, and pulled me close again.
“Where’d you go?” He mumbled.
“Bathroom.” I whispered. He nuzzled his face in my neck, holding me closer. He gently kissed my neck, and sighed. I turned to get closer. I gently touched his cheek. He smiled before dozing off again.
I rolled back over, facing my back to Taylor. I wanted Kellin.