Status: enjoy.
Postcards and Polaroids
Chapter 29.
I sat in bed, staring out the window; staring down the road where Kellin walked off. I haven’t heard from him since he left. My mind started racing. What if something happened to him, to Celine. What if his mother was drinking again? (Was that a real question?) I always worried about him when I wasn’t around. Because when I wasn’t there, that’s when he always got into some sort of trouble. I clenched my pillow, and continued to wait.
Kellin’s P.O.V
I could feel the anger and sadness slowly seeping from the fresh cuts on my arm. I was worthless. I looked at my cuts, and prepared for the sting as I gently cleaned them off. My sadness and anger was replaces with regret and shame. I promised Jess I wouldn’t do this again. I promised her one thing, and I couldn’t keep it. I should of just called her. I should of just gone back. I felt the tears in my eyes, and I quickly wiped them away. I wasn’t going to cry again.
The sound of my mother’s yelling echoed in my mind.
“You’re just like your father, always running away from your problems.” The anger came back; taking over. I wasn’t like my father. I’d never be like my father. I’d never leave my kid. I’d never let my kid feel the way I felt everyday. Everyone deserved to be loved. Everyone deserved to be told “I love you.” I felt my heart start beating faster. Jess. I just needed Jess. That’s all I wanted. That’s all I needed. I needed her. I love her, and I needed to tell her. But I couldn’t just… tell her. Not after everything she’s done for me. It needed to be perfect.
Too bad I was incapable of perfect.
Kellin’s P.O.V
I could feel the anger and sadness slowly seeping from the fresh cuts on my arm. I was worthless. I looked at my cuts, and prepared for the sting as I gently cleaned them off. My sadness and anger was replaces with regret and shame. I promised Jess I wouldn’t do this again. I promised her one thing, and I couldn’t keep it. I should of just called her. I should of just gone back. I felt the tears in my eyes, and I quickly wiped them away. I wasn’t going to cry again.
The sound of my mother’s yelling echoed in my mind.
“You’re just like your father, always running away from your problems.” The anger came back; taking over. I wasn’t like my father. I’d never be like my father. I’d never leave my kid. I’d never let my kid feel the way I felt everyday. Everyone deserved to be loved. Everyone deserved to be told “I love you.” I felt my heart start beating faster. Jess. I just needed Jess. That’s all I wanted. That’s all I needed. I needed her. I love her, and I needed to tell her. But I couldn’t just… tell her. Not after everything she’s done for me. It needed to be perfect.
Too bad I was incapable of perfect.