Status: enjoy.
Postcards and Polaroids
Chapter 89.
My heart dropped. I looked over at Kellin. The color had drained from his face. He was staring at the doctor, emotionless. Then it hit me.
It was my fault. Kellin couldn’t have a kid now, something he was more excited about than anything in the world, and it was my fault. I felt the tears come to my eyes. I thought I was going to be sick.
I quickly got up, and ran out. The tears were falling faster. I heard Kellin follow me right out. The tears turned to sobs before he could catch me. I felt a hand on my arm.
“Jess!” He said, grabbing me. I stopped, pushing myself against the hospital wall, sliding down.
“I’m sorry..” I said, between sobs. “I’m sorry.. this is my fault.. you can’t have a kid.. and it’s my fault.. something you’ve always wanted.. and you can’t have it.. and it’s my fault.. I’m s-so sorry Kellin..” I covered my face. I felt like my heart had been ripped out. After thinking about it, I had eventually convinced myself this was all I wanted too. This is what I wanted, with him. And now we couldn’t have it. And it was all my fault.
“Jess..” He said quietly. He was kneeling in front of me, gently holding onto my hands. I had nothing to hide behind now. He would see the ugly sobs and smeared makeup.
“Jess.. this is not your fault.. don’t you for a second blame yourself for this.. you could never control this.” His voice was soft and sweet. But sad.
“No..” I said. “It’s my fault. Mine. I’m the one who can’t have a kid.. I’m sorry” I tried wiping my face. It was no use.
Because in the end, he couldn’t have that daughter.
He won’t have his little daddy’s girl.
He won’t have that opportunity to prove just how good of a father he really could be.
And despite what was said, I’d always blame myself.
It was my fault. Kellin couldn’t have a kid now, something he was more excited about than anything in the world, and it was my fault. I felt the tears come to my eyes. I thought I was going to be sick.
I quickly got up, and ran out. The tears were falling faster. I heard Kellin follow me right out. The tears turned to sobs before he could catch me. I felt a hand on my arm.
“Jess!” He said, grabbing me. I stopped, pushing myself against the hospital wall, sliding down.
“I’m sorry..” I said, between sobs. “I’m sorry.. this is my fault.. you can’t have a kid.. and it’s my fault.. something you’ve always wanted.. and you can’t have it.. and it’s my fault.. I’m s-so sorry Kellin..” I covered my face. I felt like my heart had been ripped out. After thinking about it, I had eventually convinced myself this was all I wanted too. This is what I wanted, with him. And now we couldn’t have it. And it was all my fault.
“Jess..” He said quietly. He was kneeling in front of me, gently holding onto my hands. I had nothing to hide behind now. He would see the ugly sobs and smeared makeup.
“Jess.. this is not your fault.. don’t you for a second blame yourself for this.. you could never control this.” His voice was soft and sweet. But sad.
“No..” I said. “It’s my fault. Mine. I’m the one who can’t have a kid.. I’m sorry” I tried wiping my face. It was no use.
Because in the end, he couldn’t have that daughter.
He won’t have his little daddy’s girl.
He won’t have that opportunity to prove just how good of a father he really could be.
And despite what was said, I’d always blame myself.