Love Like A Tidal Wave

~Lyla’s Point of View

Childhood is supposed to be carefree and filled with love, but mine was the exact opposite. I try not to think of mine, actually I try not to think of anything before I met Vic. There’s always been a part of me that longs for a motherly figure in my life, but at twenty-two years old I wasn’t supposed to be looking for a mom, I was supposed to be preparing myself to be one. Pregnancy wasn’t an option for me. Cancer had taken away every opportunity for me to be a mother and stripped me of my dream of the picture perfect family. It was easy to daydream about futures that will never exist, but when reality comes crashing down it hurts more than everything before. Did Vic not realize I couldn’t provide him with a family?

I tried not to think pessimistically as I lay in bed waiting for Vic to stir. It was barely nine AM but I had been awake for an hour. I watched the sun beams on the floor stretch across the worn wood as the morning light grew. The window was open and cool March air blew into the bedroom. Our room was completely white, white walls, white bedding, and white furniture. Black words in various scripts covered the walls in my own hand writing. It seemed pure to me and Vic thought it provided a blank canvas for song writing.

Vic’s iPhone vibrated and fell off the bedside table on the other side of the room. Vic groaned as the phone continued to rattle against the hard wood. He flung his upper half over the side of the bed and answered the phone upside down.

“Hullo?” He answered in a sleep voice that always makes me swoon. “Oh hey man…. Yeah that would awesome….Miss you too….I’ll talk to her and I’ll text you in a couple minutes….Alright, sounds good, bye!”

“Who was that?” Vic swung himself back on to the bed and replaced his phone back on the table.

“My good friend, Kellin! I know you know who he is.” He winked as he kissed me. He knew I was a big fan of Sleeping With Sirens.

“No. Way. What did he say?!” I couldn’t help but get excited. More times than not it slipped my mind that Vic was a rock star and was friends with so many people I’ve looked up to for years.

“He wants for you and I to have lunch with him and Katelynn! Jesse and Ashley may join us, too.” He said this casually, like it was lunch with his mother, not lunch with 2/5 of Sleeping With Sirens.
It took me a moment for my mouth to form words. “Of course I would! Text him back right now!”

Vic rolled onto his stomach and grabbed his phone. I laid across his back with my chin resting on his shoulder and watched him text Kellin back. He kisses me once more and then we walked together to our closet to get ready for the day. We dressed each other in between soft kisses and emerged half an hour later with messier hair than we went in with. I went to the bathroom to fix myself while Vic went to the living room.

I was always amazed by the sight of my smile reflecting back at me through the mirror. It wasn’t something I was used to having and until recently had it become a normal occurrence. Over the past few months it never seemed to leave. I genuinely happy and that was something I never would’ve associated with myself through high school. I hated that it had taken me this long to know this happiness, but I was also glad nothing had happened to me before I met Vic. Good things come to those who wait, and God, did I have something great.

When I walked into the kitchen Mike was pulling a smoking tray of muffins out of the oven will Olivia scurried around the kitchen opening the wall-to-wall windows to let air in. Tony, Vic, and Jaime had all collapsed in the floor from laughter. Vic pulled at my knee and I fell into their pile, laughing myself.

“It’s not funny, guys! We could’ve died!” Olivia yelled as she was stood on top of the counter desperately trying to reach the screeching smoke alarm.

“Your awful cooking isn’t going to kill us, even though it may feel like it!” Tony laughed and then threw his head back and Olivia shot him a look. “No, babe, I’m kidding. I’m sorry, come here.” He got up and enveloped her in a hug.

“Ew, get out of here with that.” Mike threw the most burnt muffin at them and Tony stuck his tongue out before dragging Olivia by the hand out to the porch.

The rest of us sat on the floor of the kitchen eating the muffins that were salvageable. I sat in between Vic’s legs and leaned against his chest; Mike and Jaime mocked us in the same position with over exaggerated lust-filled eyes.

“Oh stop, you guys are just jealous.” Vic threw the crumpled paper cup that his muffin was in at his band mates.

“Actually, I’m not. Jessica and I are back together.” Jaime was beaming. I was glad they were back together, I didn’t want another scare like what had happened a few days ago. Vic still didn’t know and I wanted to keep it that way. Mike saw my expression and gave me a discrete nod, it was all okay now.

“That’s so great, Jaime! We should double date sometime.” Vic was smiling, cute and oblivious.

“Speaking of double date don’t we have somewhere to be, Victor?” I leaned my head back so I was looking at him upside down.

“Oh yeah! We’re having lunch with Kellin and Katelynn. We’ll catch y’all later.” Vic explained and then helped me to my feet. Jaime and Mike stayed cuddled together after we left the room, they were so weird.

Once we were in the car driving to a little café towards the heart of the city I put in the newest Sleeping With Sirens CD. Vic laughed while looking at the road but sang along with me. He tried to mimic Kellin’s high pitched voice but failed miserably. The window was rolled down and sent chill bumps up along my arms. It made hair stick up and I couldn’t wait for it to be able to be blown all around my face, something most people take for granted. Vic took my hand near the end of our drive and squeezed it.

“You look beautiful today, Lyla.” Vic randomly said while we sat at a red light. I kissed him for a thank you.

Vic rolled down his window once we had parked at the café.

“Hey Kellin, listen to this!” I didn’t realize Kellin Quinn stood in front of our care hand-in-hand with the beautiful Katelynn Quinn. Vic cranked up the volume of the stereo.

“Turn that off, Vic!” Kellin scolded him but was laughing.

Vic opened my door and we walked holding hands to greet the couple standing on the side walk. They were both decked in Anthem wear.

“I have never met someone who looked more stunning with a pixie cut! It’s so good to meet you.” Katelynn was beaming. I would love to surround myself with people who were this happy all the time.

“Thank you so much! It’s great to meet you too!” I stuck out my hand but she pulled me into a hug and Kellin did the same.

The waiter sat us at a table at the very front of the café. The big picture window allowed our table to be flooded with lights, and allowed a dozen fans to stand on the edge of the side walk and stare at our famous fiancés.

“Doesn’t this ever bother you guys?” I asked the boys but they were absorbed in their sweet teas and conversation about fantasy football.

“After awhile you kind of just get used to it. When we leave we can take some pictures if they’re still there. Actually, no.” Kellin leaned over and knocked on the window. He startled a girl and her eyes grew three times their normal size. He pointed to the door and then beckoned them with his hand. “They can come say hi right now.”

Nine girls came into the restaurant and crowded our little corner. They all took turns taking pictures with Kellin and then with Vic, two even asked for my autograph! Being Vic Fuente’s fiancé had an abundance of perks. The last girl, the one who Kellin had motioned to through the window, to come get her picture was crying so much she couldn’t even talk. Her thin legs were shaking and I recognized her bracelet littered arms as a silent cry for help. She took her pictures with the boys and then I whispered that I wanted to talk to her. We walked to the raised bar on one side of the café and sat down.

“Hi. I’m Lyla.”

“I’m Caroline.”

“I see your bracelets, and your cuts. Can I help you somehow?” I ordered a sweet tea and handed it to her. She took tiny sips before she answered me.

“You wouldn’t understand.”

I didn’t speak but I turned my arm over and showed her my arm. Her eyes grew wider than they did when Kellin had caught her attention through the window.

“I know what you were going to say to Vic and Kellin back there. That their music helped you through everything, that the lyrics were your only friends when you were alone. I know how it feels, if you don’t believe anyone else believe me. I don’t have any parents, I’ve battled cancer, and I’ve been ready to do unspeakable things to myself because I was depressed. I’m not saying your problems and feelings aren’t any smaller than mine I’m just saying you can get through it. Don’t you dare give up and don’t you dare hurt yourself again. You aren’t put through anything you can’t handle. Do this for me and do this for Vic and for Kellin. We love you and I’m going to remember you.” I had to keep myself from crying as the girl flung herself into my arms. She said ‘I promise’ at least a hundred times through her sobs. I handed her my phone and she typed in her number. I saved it as Promise Caroline.

“What was that about?” Vic said when I was back at the table. I wiped my eyes with my napkin and smiled.

“Just helping out a friend.”