Love Like A Tidal Wave

~Lyla's Point Of View

The pitter patter of rain almost lulled me back to sleep when I woke up. The curtain was pulled shut so it was completely dark; I couldn't tell if it was night or day. Vic was gone and the entire bus was silent, unusual, so I guessed it was the middle of the day. I was still tired in weak so I decided to stay in bed. I rolled over and put my head phones in, curling into a ball.

So much had happened in such a short period of time, I couldn't process all the thoughts running through my head. Vic. He was the only thing on my mind constantly. He seemed to good to be true, one day I feared I would wake up back in my lonely house all alone. He made me happy, happy during a time when I should be at my worst, and in a way I was. Today was Monday, which meant I had four days until chemo. Chemo would give me a second shot, or at least try.

Would Vic come with me? Or would he leave and capture the heart of another hopeless girl. I didn't like to think of that, but it was always a possibility. Sometimes I didn't want him to be with me. If the chemo didn't work and I slowly began to slip in my health I didn't want him to suffer along with me. He would be the one hurting in the end, I wouldn't be feeling a thing. What to do? What to say?

I rubbed my eyes and tried to erase thoughts like that from my brain, I still had a few days to figure things out. I hand brushed against my worn bracelets, they covered my scars. I hadn't cut in almost a week, I didn't need to. I was happy. I took off the bracelets and studied the scars and healing cuts in the glow of my iPhone. I regret them, I would have them for life as a reminder of darker times. Times of complete loneliness. Cutting didn't make me feel better, it made me feel worse.

Suddenly the curtain was pulled back, it was Vic. A soft grayish light flooded the bunk. "Lyla, what's wrong." He crawled into the bunk and pulled the curtain back, embracing me and filling me with warmth.

I tried to shake my head and say everything was okay, but I couldn't. Because nothing was okay. I was dying.

"Vic, I'm dying. Do you not realize that? You love a girl whose days are numbered. What if chemo doesn't work? I don't want you to see me fade away. I don't want to leave you like that. I can't hurt you."

"Wait, what are you saying? You're going to be fine, don't talk like that. I'm never going to leave, I'm going to be right by your side the entire time. You'll go through chemo, lose a little hair, then you'll be all better, okay? We can live happily ever after."

"No. My life has never been a happily ever after. Have you seen my wrists? It doesn't work like that for me." I shoved my wrist into his face, I couldn't stop my tears now. They flowed down my cheeks just as heavily as the rain outside. I couldn't catch my breath and Vic put my head against his chest and stroked my hair while I fought for air.

"Shhh... Calm down. No matter what happens next, remember you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I love you more than the intensity of the sun, more than all the water in the world. You're my life now."

I held out my pinky and he linked it with his. We stayed that way until I fell asleep against his chest.

~Vic's Point Of View

She scared me. She scared the shit out of me. She scared me every time she looked at me, every time we kissed. I didn't know what she was going to do, so spontaneous. She kills me with every word and brings me to life with every touch.

She makes me happy, and I hope I make her happy too. The only thing I wanted to do for the rest of my life was make her happy. It hurt me to see her struggle like this, she was a victim and I couldn't save her from what was killing her, herself. I looked down at her face, she had gotten paler in the last couple days and she was always tired. She was skinny, too skinny. I couldn't wait to see her eyes sparkle and her cheeks blush every time she got embarrassed. I blinked a tear away and wiped her cheeks, I kissed her lightly on the lips, which felt like ice. I closed the curtain back and walked to the back lounge. I picked up my guitar and began to strum, I wanted to tell her exactly how I felt and there was only one way I knew how.