Fifteen Ways to Survive Warped Tour

"It's over."

It wasn't like I hadn't seen it coming. In fact, I'd been practically waiting for this day so it'd be over with. There was no way it would've possible worked, not with his wife and baby, and I knew that from that start. Unfortunately, that didn't stop me from falling hopelessly in love with him... But now, here we were. Where I always knew we'd be.

"It was fun at first... When it was just the occasional cuddling or texting... But I'm married, Tess. This is too much... You know I love you, I just, I love her in a different way. In a forever way, you know?"

Yeah. And you love me as a few time fuck in the oh-so-romantic back of your tour bus.

"I'm sorry I led you on. I know how you feel about me, Tesslyn... I never should have manipulated you like this. We can still be friends, though. I don't want to lose you like that." Kellin ranted on and on, hardly stopping to take a breath. I could feel his eyes boring into me, but I didn't catch his gaze. At this point, I didn't know if I could even handle it...

"Kellin." I squeezed the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger, tightly shutting my eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Please, just shut the fuck up. Please." I finally looked up at him, staring into the angelic face I'd been falling all over myself for for the past year. We met through mutual friends almost two years ago, but started truly communicating over the fact we would both be at Warped Tour, not like I hadn't had a slight attraction to him since we met or anything. Gradually, we grew closer, even spending a small amount of time on my couch watching movies with my head in his lap. At the time, it was such a thrill for me, that someone as gorgeous as him would be interested in me. Little did I know, being the "other woman" fucking sucks.

"Well I'm sorry that I'm trying to do the right thing here." He snapped, running his fingers through his dark hair, glaring at me like this was my fault.

"If you wanted to do the right thing, Kellin, you wouldn't have invited me to spend like the night... Oh what was it, last night? You crossed the line of doing what was right the first time you kissed me."

He looked so frustrated, and more angry than I'd ever seen him. His hands hovered awkwardly at his sides, and it looked like he was ready to grab me and just shake me. I, on the other hand did my best to maintain a calm, collected composure despite the fact it felt like my insides were all crumbling to pieces. I was really losing him.

Part of me wanted him to grab me, and smother me in his arms, whispering sweet nothings until I felt okay. Part of me, really wanted to take back everything I was spitting at him, and get on my knees and beg for him to stay with me. How was I supposed to last the rest of the summer seeing him everyday? It was only two weeks into the tour.

I leaned against the cool metal of the tour bus, kicking down at the dirt. I could hear bands playing in the distance through the stress induced ringing in my ears. It was blisteringly hot, but I felt like I was freezing from the inside out.

"Look..." He finally started, "she called me last night. Telling me she misses me, loves me... And I realized how much I'd be hurting her if she knew. Maybe if things were different, this would work. But they're not. This is how it is..."

I dug the heel of my vans into the ground, a cloud of dust whirling around my bare leg.

"Tess. Please, look at me."

I obliged, locking eyes with my now former lover. His gaze was feverish, slightly angry, and a bit sad. He had no right to be sad... I was the one that would be up all night crying. How dare he be sad?

"I'm sorry. You're a beautiful girl... You deserve someone who can actually be with you. I truly adore you, Tess. You're not like other girls."

Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.

"Someone is gonna love you, and treat you... Amazingly, okay? I'm sorry it's not me, but I'll always be here for you. You know where to find me, alright?"

I couldn't get a word in even if I wanted to. He was still talking in a nervous jumble, this time a little more meaningful, but still hard to listen to nonetheless. I stared at him, speechless. When he finally stopped talking, his lips curved in a half smile before he reached out, wrapping me in his arms. He squeezed me tightly, almost uncomfortably so due to the situation, and as he started to let go, he leaned in and kissed me.

His lips were so familiar I just sort of molded right into them, like this whole conversation hadn't just happened. They caught mine in an entrancing connection for what couldn't have been more than three seconds, before he pulled away, letting go of me completely, and taking a few steps back.

"I'll see you around, okay, Tess?"

He kept taking steps backward until he was a few feet away, and I didn't have the words to say. Finally, he turned his back and I was just staring at black jeans and a white t-shirt disappearing over to the merch tents in the distance.

"Kellin fucking Quinn!"

He obviously heard me, because he paused, and turned around.

"I'm in love with you!"

He stood still for a moment. I don't know what I expected, really. A tearful reunion, him running back to the tour bus, scooping me up in his arms and kissing me all over? No. Not likely.

I didn't really expect him to just simply turn around, and keep walking... But that's exactly what he did.

And just like that, he was gone.