Collide
1/1
Of all the people in all the world, why did it have to be him that I woke up with?
That’s the question I was asking myself as I gathered up my things. I felt every inch a coward for sneaking out this way, but I couldn’t stay. Zayn would hate me if he woke up and saw me there – I hated me – and just when we had reached the point where we were civil. This would ruin everything, I told myself as I closed the door, glancing back just once to see him sprawled across the bed in the light of the new dawn.
Zayn and I have had a love-hate relationship since we met, back when he and the rest of One Direction were still on X-Factor. I had come to a performance to support Harry, who I’d known since primary school. I got on well with the rest of the boys, but something about Zayn just irked me. The two of us were too different – I was fiery and excitable, and he was subdued and controlled even when he was excited. I often let my temper get the best of me, and Zayn preferred to hold things in, to brood.
I’m open, you’re closed.
It was like every time we started to get close, we’d just… collide.
Which is exactly why I never meant to fall in love with Zayn Malik. I focused all my attention on the negative side of our relationship, and it had been working – but now, now I had done something stupid. I didn’t go to him last night intending to sleep with him. I went to him because I needed someone who would just listen as I ranted about what was going wrong in life, and I knew he would. I tried, as I walked down the stairs from his flat, to blame it on the alcohol, but I knew better; I had still been sober enough to know better, I just didn’t want to. I only hoped that Zayn had been too drunk to remember.
“Claire! Claire, wait!”
No, this couldn’t possibly be happening, not when I was finally at the door, so close to leaving him and everything from last night behind. I bit my lip, trying not to hear him coming down the stairs, and pushed the heavy door open to walk outside. I didn’t see the ice until I stepped in it, slipping and falling flat on my bum. At that point, everything seemed hopeless, and I stopped trying not to cry. It wasn’t until fingers brushed my face that I even noticed that Zayn had caught up with me.
“It’s okay, Claire. Even the best fall down sometimes.” I sniffed and tried to get to my feet, slipping again and crying out in frustration. I still pushed his hands away as he tried to help me, and he sighed.
“I’m sorry, Claire.”
I slapped away his hand one more time before finally looking at him. “You? Sorry?”
“I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you like that. I shouldn’t have… I shouldn’t have been the way I was. But, I’m quiet, you know? And you... make a first impression. I was overwhelmed, and part of me – I just wanted to stay in your thoughts, even if it was as that boy you couldn’t stand.”
I looked at him dumbly. “But, you’re always on my mind.” He looked shocked, and I bit my lip and turned away, finally making it to my feet. “I shouldn’t have said that. I just, I lost my place. I’ll go now.”
“No!” He grabbed my arm. “No, I mean, don’t. Don’t go. Just… Come with me. Let’s talk about this, please?”
He led the way, and it was like I couldn’t turn him down. In that moment, I’d follow him to the end of the earth, if it meant the conflict in his eyes would go away.
“Zayn…”
He stopped. “Yeah, babe?”
My heart skipped for just a moment, but I pressed on. “I’m in love with you.”
When he turned to look at me, it was something totally new, and frightening. There was so much doubt, but even he looked surprised when he responded, “Promise me that’s true?”
I couldn’t help the chuckle. “That rhymed, you know.”
He smiled. “I know.”
“I promise.”
“I promise, too, Claire.”
And as he pulled me to him, I knew that everything would be different. The scales had been tipped. Our love-hate relationship – it was all just a lie. And as his lips collided with mine, I smiled against him. We might continue to clash, but I knew that now I’d look forward to every word of every argument, because at the heart of it was this.
That’s the question I was asking myself as I gathered up my things. I felt every inch a coward for sneaking out this way, but I couldn’t stay. Zayn would hate me if he woke up and saw me there – I hated me – and just when we had reached the point where we were civil. This would ruin everything, I told myself as I closed the door, glancing back just once to see him sprawled across the bed in the light of the new dawn.
Zayn and I have had a love-hate relationship since we met, back when he and the rest of One Direction were still on X-Factor. I had come to a performance to support Harry, who I’d known since primary school. I got on well with the rest of the boys, but something about Zayn just irked me. The two of us were too different – I was fiery and excitable, and he was subdued and controlled even when he was excited. I often let my temper get the best of me, and Zayn preferred to hold things in, to brood.
I’m open, you’re closed.
It was like every time we started to get close, we’d just… collide.
Which is exactly why I never meant to fall in love with Zayn Malik. I focused all my attention on the negative side of our relationship, and it had been working – but now, now I had done something stupid. I didn’t go to him last night intending to sleep with him. I went to him because I needed someone who would just listen as I ranted about what was going wrong in life, and I knew he would. I tried, as I walked down the stairs from his flat, to blame it on the alcohol, but I knew better; I had still been sober enough to know better, I just didn’t want to. I only hoped that Zayn had been too drunk to remember.
“Claire! Claire, wait!”
No, this couldn’t possibly be happening, not when I was finally at the door, so close to leaving him and everything from last night behind. I bit my lip, trying not to hear him coming down the stairs, and pushed the heavy door open to walk outside. I didn’t see the ice until I stepped in it, slipping and falling flat on my bum. At that point, everything seemed hopeless, and I stopped trying not to cry. It wasn’t until fingers brushed my face that I even noticed that Zayn had caught up with me.
“It’s okay, Claire. Even the best fall down sometimes.” I sniffed and tried to get to my feet, slipping again and crying out in frustration. I still pushed his hands away as he tried to help me, and he sighed.
“I’m sorry, Claire.”
I slapped away his hand one more time before finally looking at him. “You? Sorry?”
“I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you like that. I shouldn’t have… I shouldn’t have been the way I was. But, I’m quiet, you know? And you... make a first impression. I was overwhelmed, and part of me – I just wanted to stay in your thoughts, even if it was as that boy you couldn’t stand.”
I looked at him dumbly. “But, you’re always on my mind.” He looked shocked, and I bit my lip and turned away, finally making it to my feet. “I shouldn’t have said that. I just, I lost my place. I’ll go now.”
“No!” He grabbed my arm. “No, I mean, don’t. Don’t go. Just… Come with me. Let’s talk about this, please?”
He led the way, and it was like I couldn’t turn him down. In that moment, I’d follow him to the end of the earth, if it meant the conflict in his eyes would go away.
“Zayn…”
He stopped. “Yeah, babe?”
My heart skipped for just a moment, but I pressed on. “I’m in love with you.”
When he turned to look at me, it was something totally new, and frightening. There was so much doubt, but even he looked surprised when he responded, “Promise me that’s true?”
I couldn’t help the chuckle. “That rhymed, you know.”
He smiled. “I know.”
“I promise.”
“I promise, too, Claire.”
And as he pulled me to him, I knew that everything would be different. The scales had been tipped. Our love-hate relationship – it was all just a lie. And as his lips collided with mine, I smiled against him. We might continue to clash, but I knew that now I’d look forward to every word of every argument, because at the heart of it was this.