How I Met Your Father

I tapped my fingers lightly on the rim of my pint glass, watching as Jamie fiddled fondly with his boyfriend's hair. The two were honestly the cutest pair ever. Lee had his glasses on, because he'd just returned from work and had came straight to the bar, while Jamie was dressed in a loose shirt and jeans.

I myself, had been sat here all day, wallowing in self pity. I won't sugar coat it, last week I was dumped, and the inside of my head was currently like a Dido album on repeat. Who in their right mind would break up with me? I'm Ian 'Goddamn Gorgeous' Watkins for crying out loud! Look at my body! It's like walking sex!

Josh turned to me, pulling his bottle towards him. "What you need, is a rebound." I frowned, taking a long sip of my pint, then tilted my head towards my friend in question. "Like, wild, hot, meaningless sex for one night to get you over that twat."

As horrific as Josh made it sound, he was probably right. I had been tied down for so long to one guy, it was time get back out there and pound some man senseless. Jamie smirked and kissed Lee on the cheek before leaning forward. "I don't think you're ready for that, man. You and Oli just broke up. This will do you more harm than good."

Josh slammed his bottle down and looked sternly between me and my friend. "You're wrong. Ian, go have sex." The Englander pushed me up from my seat and in the direction of a rather blonde head. He tapped the man's shoulder then smiled. "Hi, have you met Ian?" Then in a second he was gone, skidding away into the sunset like the royal twat he is.

"Erm, hey." The blonde blushed, averting his beautiful golden eyes. He was tall, almost my hight, and slightly chubby in just the right places making him utterly adorable. Do not think like that Ian, he's hot and you want to bang him.

I bit my lip and bought him a drink, then handed it to him with a wink. "I'm-"

"Ian." He giggled, taking a sip of his drink. "Good guess, right?"

"Right."
---
I pushed Sean backwards, hungrily, into his bedroom. The lights were turned off and the house was deserted. I guessed he lives alone. I lived with Lee, and sort of Jamie because he slept over literally every night.

I threw Sean onto the bed, pulling down his jeans as he removed his top, showing off the tattoo just above his waistline. Fuck. I could feel my skinny's becoming a little too tight as my bulge grew. Sean eyed me seductively, before running his fingers slowly along the waistband of his boxers. I watched, unblinking and dry mouthed as his hand trailed down towards his crotch where he began to palm himself, moaning loudly at his own touch.

I gulped, ripping off my shirt and wiggled out of my jeans, nearly falling down in the process. I leapt onto the man in my boxers, straddling him, and connected our crotches, moaning out loud at the sensation. Sean pushed up against me, repeatedly working himself against me. "I-Ian."He moaned, biting his lip. "K-Kiss me."

I leant down, connecting our lips harshly and moved them together with the rhythm of our bodies. Sean removed his boxers, as did I, so that we were completely naked. I heard the man gasp in pain as I pushed myself into him, using the opening in his mouth to stick my tongue in and let it explore.

After about a minute of letting his adjust, Sean began to kiss back, and I slowly began to move in and out of him, gradually picking up my face. I moaned into the blonde's mouth and felt him giggle against me in the cutest way, before attaching his hands to my arse and squeezing tightly. I was surprised by how much that turned me on. "Fuck!" Sean cried in pleasure as I hit his spot. "A-Again!"

I nodded, biting down hard on my lip to stop myself from screaming like a pornstar, and aimed for the same place again.

"OH MY GOD! DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THERAPY I'M GOING TOO NEED AFTER THIS!?"

I snapped out of my daze to find Victoria looking horrified, her arms wrapped around her brother protectively. I winked at my children then shrugged. "Well, how do you think we had you?"

"Through adoption!" Tori glared, her crystal eyes narrowing. "I really hate you. Can I got back to my room now?"

I shook my head and stared at her sternly. "No, there's loads more."