Fix You

The next few weeks passed by as slowly as humanly possible. After having his heart ripped out, stomped on, crushed again, and replaced back in his chest in a tangled web, he had been doing his absolute best to get over Seve-Snape. He still had the tendency to call the man by his first name when thinking about him, or talking about him, or worse, talking to him. It definitely needed to stop.

He had made it clear that he had absolutely no feelings for him. That he had just used him to satisfy his needs when he had been under the influence of drugs. Harry felt so utterly stupid for even thinking for a single moment that he had cared for him in that way. That he had felt something for him. All those looks, all those moments where they had seemed to connect perfectly, he had just imagined them in his state of loneliness. When it all came down to it, he didn't mean shit to a single fucking person.

Drugs and alcohol were what kept him going most days. He had smoked his way through his entire bag of weed and had actually had to resort to buying another bag from a stranger off the street one night. He had been sneaking out of the house a couple of nights a week to drink at a bar only a few blocks away. Either Snape had no knowledge what-so-ever of his actions, or he didn't even care enough to attempt to stop him.

Either way, he wasn't complaining. Although, it was hell having to go through frequent attacks of his mind whilst still hungover from the night before. Despite everything, he had somehow managed to improve his Occlumency skills and could now block Snape from entering his mind ninety percent of the time. He hadn't experienced anymore visions or nightmares lately, either.

In less than twenty four hours he would be boarding the Hogwarts Express. In less than twenty four hours he would be back at Hogwarts. In less than twenty four hours, life would return to normal.

Harry frowned as he folded up a pair of socks and tossed them into his trunk. He wasn't sure if he was ready for life to return to normal. To have to get up at a certain time, go to classes, obey the rules, be confined within the walls of the castle. He didn't want to feel like a prisoner in the place he called home, and he had a feeling that was exactly what was about to happen once he returned.

He lazily threw a few more items into his trunk before getting bored and flopping down on the bed. Reaching underneath his mattress, he pulled out a tray Andy and himself had stolen from a fast food restaurant earlier that summer. He was halfway through rolling up a fat blunt when Snape tapped lightly on his door.

"Come in" He called, raising an eyebrow.

The other man never bothered him unless it was time for a lesson. He didn't even bother to call him for meals anymore. When he smelled food, he just wandered into the kitchen and grabbed a plate of whatever was cooked. Things were awkward and strained between the two and he would rather have things return to normal. Normal meaning completely hating each others guts, insulting each other twenty four seven, and disagreeing on everything. He would rather have that any day of the week than this awkwardness.

He heard the door creak open, but he didn't glance up as he continued to break up a small bud. Snape cleared his throat and he could hear him shifting from foot to foot, as if he was nervous about something.

"So...are you all packed for tomorrow?"

"Let's cut the small talk, Professor. What do you really need to talk to me about?"

He finished rolling the blunt and looked up, licking the tips of his fingers. He had been speaking to the man in this way every time he tried to talk to him about something non school related. He figured that the best way to get over his feelings would be to completely distance himself from the other man. Go back to treating each other as a student and teacher should. It was hard, but it was the only option.

He faltered a little in his cockiness as he caught sight of the older man. He was leaning against the door frame, looking utterly defeated. His long black hair hung down in his face and his pale legs shook a little in his cargo shorts. Their eyes connected and it took all he had to immediately return to what he was doing, instead of getting lost in their emptiness.

Pulling a lighter out of his pocket, he sparked the blunt before lighting it and taking a hit. He outstretched his arm to Snape, who was looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face. He didn't really blame him, considering what had happened the last time they had smoked together. But honestly, it looked like he could do with a pick me up at that moment. Just as he was about to pull his arm away, he surprised him by plucking it out of his hand and taking a few hits before passing it back over.

"What I needed to speak with you about is what's going to happen when we return to school." He paused for a moment to glance over at him. Harry nodded at him to continue on, wondering just where this was going.

"First of all, we need to talk about your lessons. You have improved a lot with Occlumency, which is why I proposed to the headmaster that we stop them all together. He was enthused to hear of your improvement, but he insists that you still have at least one lesson a week. We will continue with your defense lessons as well as Potions. Fridays will be off days and on Sundays your lesson will take place in the morning, as to give you the rest of the day to catch up on school work. Being your teacher for six years now, I know that you have a tendency to..."

He paused here, looking him up and down in a way that made him extremely self conscious.

"-wait until last minute." He drawled out whilst taking another hit.

"Do not." Said Harry

Snape let out a sort of snort before passing the blunt back over to him. He licked his lips before bringing it to his mouth and taking a hit, blowing the smoke out through his nostrils as he pinched it in between his thumb and pointer finger.

When he looked up, he caught the other man looking at him and playing with his bottom lip. He stopped as soon as he turned and jerked the rollo out of his hand. Harry narrowed his eyes, noticing his breathing was quicker than normal. Well, well, well...if he wasn't mistaken it looked as if Severus was checking him out.

"Something...wrong?" He asked. Only it sounded more like a statement than a question.

"What? Oh me. No, I'm fine Har-Potter."

He smirked as he inched a little bit to his left, their knees nearly touching now. "Are you sure? I mean, you did just almost call me Harry."

"It was...a mistake." Severus said, beginning to falter now.

Harry worked his bottom lip in between his teeth before lifting his hand to Severus' forehead. "Hm, you do feel a little bit warm. Maybe that's it." He shrugged and took another hit, taking note of how glassy the mans eyes were getting.

Excusing himself to go to the loo, he shut the door behind him and removed his shirt. He brushed his teeth with the toothbrush that he had been keeping in the cabinet and fixed his hair with his comb. Teasing Severus was definitely fun, but he wondered if there was any possible way anything could happen between them tonight. He sure as hell wasn't going to bed without trying.

He walked back through the open door, closing it lightly behind him. Severus glanced up at him before glancing back down at his cigarette. "I'm-I'm gonna go turn in now. You probably should too as we have to be up early in the morning." He started to rise from the bed.

"Oh, okay. I was about to load up the bong, but I guess I'll just smoke in here alone."

"Well, I presume it won't hurt to stay up just a few minutes later."

Harry smirked as he loaded the bong, knowing he had him right where he wanted him.

"And then...THEN the guy falls over on the floor and starts sobbing because he thought he WAS the glass of orange juice."

An hour or so had passed and Harry was entertaining him with stories from his summer. Due to their intoxicated state, conversation had carried easily. He was laying flat on his back while Severus sat next to him. The man accidently fell backward as he shifted around, landing on his side facing toward him, laughing the entire time. Harry laughed along with him, but soon stopped to stare up at him.

"It's nice to see you laugh." He whispered almost inaudibly. "You should do it more often."

"I do smile often." Severus shot back with a mock glare.

"Well, I never see it."

"My smiles are not reserved for you."

Harry pouted "Ooh that hurts."

Severus gave him another glare and swatted at his arm. Harry laughed out loud and clocked him in the shoulder, perhaps a little bit forcefully as he found himself being drug off of the bed by his legs. He delivered the man a swift kick in the shin and was immediately dropped to the floor. He smirked, thinking he had won, but was shocked when a weight pressed itself down on him a moment later.

Severus grabbed his hands and pinned them down over his head. He kicked at him with his legs, but all the man had to do was sit on them to make Harry completely immobile. He kind of wished the man would release him because he could feel his erection beginning to grow inside of his pants and he didn't want the other man to notice, but at the same time...he sort of did.

"Let me go!"

Now Severus was smirking down at him. "Well, well, well. It seems as if someone needs to learn how to control themselves."

Never before had he been so mortified in his life. He struggled to get up, but the man held him firmly in place. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, wishing he would just let him go.

Out of nowhere he felt Severus' hot breath on his neck. His eyes flew open and connected directly with deep black orbs, filled with a hunger he had never seen before. As Severus pressed his body farther down on his, he couldn't help but to throw his head back and bite his lip. The man was clearly just as excited as he was and their erections touching didn't help the matter. Was his professor actually going to do something? Forget about his teaching status? Forget about the fact that he claimed he had no feelings for him? Or was he going to pull away at any given moment?

His internal questions were answered not a moment later as Severus suddenly leaned down and captured his mouth with his own. Almost immediately, his entire soul was lit on fire. It continued to spread throughout his body as they roughly clashed tongues together. He bucked his hips upward, desperate for more. Severus responded by grinding their crotches together, leaving Harry unable to suppress a deep moan.

After a few minutes spent in this position, he felt his heart drop into his stomach as his professor rolled off of him and got to his feet. He made no attempt to move, fearing the worst was about to happen. He was surprised when the other man grabbed his hand and pulled him upward, pushing him up against the wall and turning the lights out with a wave of his hand.

Harry took the lead this time, shoving him backward toward the bed in between short kisses. He pushed him down on the bed and climbed on top of him slowly, fingering the material on his thin long sleeved shirt. He moved his hands up under his shirt, surprised at how toned his muscles appeared to be. Their eyes met and he somehow couldn't continue anymore.

Knowing he would probably regret it as soon as he woke up, he removed his hands from underneath his shirt and rolled off of him, sitting up straight.

Severus sat up with him, straightening his shirt and looking at him questioningly.

"I-I don't want to do something I'm going to regret. Something that...something that will only hurt me more in the end."

He was quiet for a long moment, staring back at him with his usual blank expression.

"I understand." He finally replied, starting to move off of the bed.

Harry reached out and grabbed his arm in a fit of panic. Severus stopped moving and turned back toward him.

"Please...stay." He felt like such a fool for practically begging the other man to stay by his side, but he figured that this would be the last night they would ever be this close again. School started tomorrow and Severus would once again be his professor. Also, Severus would be sobered up in the morning and probably horrified with himself for his actions. He quickly turned over toward the wall, completely mortified.

To his utter shock, he felt the weight of the bed sinking down next to him and the mans shoulder just barely grazing against his own. They lay there in silence for several minutes, even though he knew that the other man was awake. Harry eventually felt himself beginning to drift off into blackness, the warmth from Severus' body keeping him in a safe place.