Fix You

Severus stared around the room in shock at what had just occurred. He knew he should probably go chase after Potter, but the boy needed time to calm down and he needed time to sober up before attempting to walk the streets of London.

He also needed time to have a word or two with Black. What Black had done and said was completely uncalled for. He was upset, drunk, and pissed off. He had taken it out on Potter in his drunken state. If the two would have been alone, things probably would have escalated even further. He couldn't remember a recent time when he was as pissed off as he was now.

Not that he would ever in a million years admit it, but his view of Potter had changed drastically over the summer. He had always seen him as a carbon copy of his father. He had thought him an arrogant and spoiled little child. This was clearly not the case. He was abused by those Muggles, no doubt about it.

He had spoken to Albus about this after seeing his aunt slap him in the face, but he had denied that the boy was in any real danger from being there. When he had actually had time to think about it, he had recalled how skinny the boy was at the start of term every year. He also realized that the boy never removed his shirt as he recalled seeing him swimming in the black lake fully clothed.

The thought of anybody abusing a child made him sick. His father had done it to him and he wouldn't wish that on even his worst enemy. He imagined what Lily would say if she could see the way her son had been treated by her own sister and her husband.

Severus also recalled how Potter had stood up for him that day. How he had stood up for his snarky Potions professor who had done nothing but treat him like shit for six years straight. Right then was how he knew that he was nothing like James Potter. Actually, that was a lie. He had realized that he was nothing like his father after he had kept his mouth shut about what he had seen in the Penseive last year, but had refused to believe it until now.

He watched as Black strode from the room, but he followed right after him. No way was he leaving him unsupervised or allowing him to get away from what was about to come at him. Just as predicted, Black made to shut himself in his bedroom, unaware that Severus had been following closely behind. He caught the door in his hand. Black flung himself face down on the bed and he was surprised to hear sobbing coming from the man.

He didn't like Black one bit, but he had always respected how he kept his emotions in control.

"Have you completely lost your mind?" He asked, wincing at the way his words slurred.

The sobs ceased almost immediately and he heard a mumbled "Sod off, Snape."

He closed the door behind him and sat down on the edge of the bed, looking around the tiny room. He had been living here for the past month, but he had never stepped foot inside Black's bedroom before. It was one of the tiniest bedrooms he had seen in the house and he wondered why he didn't relocate to one of the larger, unused rooms in the house.

There was a tiny wardrobe in the right corner of the room. The doors were un-opened and most of the clothing was thrown in the bottom of the closet instead of hung up on the hangers. Old textbooks, a cauldron, and other miscellaneous items littered the top shelf.

There was a small writing desk that looked like it had scarcely been used. Newspapers and parchment completely covered the surface. A single photo frame sat on the desk, but it appeared to be empty. At a closer glace, he realized it was not empty. A spell had been placed on it to conceal the real photograph from everybody except the caster. He could easily break through the spell if he wanted to, but he figured now was not the best time to do so.

His eyes landed on a spot directly over his headboard. Hanging there was a photograph of the four Marauders during their Hogwarts days. Pettigrew and Lupin were smiling at the camera while Black and Potter were making vulgar gestures at it. The other photograph was of Black and Potter on his wedding day. He looked away as a red haired woman entered the frame. He had spent too many years grieving over her and he was not about to start again.

Severus instead allowed his attention to return to Black. He had sat up in the bed and was studying him curiously. He felt his face heat up a tiny bit at being caught looking at the photos. "I miss him every fucking day." He mumbled and he was annoyed to see that the tears had started up again.

"You need to pull yourself together, Black. What you just did to your godson was inexcusable. Just because you are extremely intoxicated due to the fact that you are fighting with your little friend Lupin does not mean you can behave in this way. I have lost any amount of respect that I have managed to build up for you during the past month."

He finished his lecture and waited for Black to say something back. He was pleased to discover that Black was having trouble choosing his words. He would start to say something, but change his mind at the last moment.

"Remus is not my friend." Severus gave a sarcastic snort at these words. Was Black really that angry over their little spat that he was claiming they were not friends anymore after nearly twenty five years of friendship?

"Feeling a bit childish today, are we?"

Black sat up straighter and shook his head. "No, Remus has not been my friend for six months." Severus got the feeling that he was missing something crucial. Black pulled his wand out of his robes and pointed it at the photo frame on the desk, muttering a spell underneath his breath. Severus glanced over at the photo and almost passed out at what he saw.

Black was sitting in an armchair with Lupin in his lap. Even worse, Blacks arms were wrapped around Lupins waist. They were both laughing at the camera and at the last second, Lupin leaned up to kiss the other man on the lips. They were gay? He would have NEVER suspected.

At least now he understood why their fight had upset Black so much.

"We were supposed to tell a few people today, but at the last moment he freaked out. Tonks is the only one that even knows we're together. We got in a huge fight and I told him not to talk to me anymore. I'm sick of hiding things. I've been in love with him for years and now that he finally returns the feelings, he wants to keep it a secret. I don-"

Black had paused midsentence and was now staring at Severus in complete horror. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I don't know why I just told you…now everybody is going to find out the wrong way and you will have something else to throw back in my face. Fuck."

Severus rolled his eyes at Blacks annoying rambling. The imbecile really did not need to consume alcohol. He couldn't really talk because he was slightly drunk as well, but he knew how to control himself. He also wanted to hit Black for thinking he would make fun of him for his sexual orientation. He could be a complete hypocrite for doing so, as he was gay himself.

For the longest time he had convinced himself that he was straight, but after a while it became apparent that he was attracted to men. Sure, he enjoyed sex with women, but that didn't count. Sex was sex. Gender plays no part in that. What matters is the sex that you are emotionally attracted to. The sex you could imagine yourself falling in love with.

He had tried relationships with both sexes and the only thing the women had done were satisfy his physical desires. Lily had been the only exception of this and he figured it mostly had to do with the fact that she was there for him when nobody else was.

He felt himself growing emotional as he thought of her and began cursing himself for consuming so much alcohol. He glanced over to see Black still completely freaking out. He thought about allowing him to think that he was going to ruin his life with this new bit of information, but even he was not that cruel.

"Bla-Sirius." He forced the man's first name out of his mouth in hopes it would attract his attention. Sure enough, Black ceased his ramblings at once and whipped his head around to stare up at him in complete shock. "I do not like you. I doubt I ever will. I tolerate you for The Orders sake. With that being said, I would never make fun of you for your sexual orientation. You see, I am gay myself. Hardly anybody knows this so if you keep your mouth shut, so will I."

Black stared at him in shock for a long moment before nodding. "Harry probably hates me." He mumbled into his hands.

"He doesn't hate you, but I won't try to stop him from hexing you when he comes back. What the hell were you thinking? Potter has been abused by those horrible Muggles and then you threaten to beat him as well? You don't need to be drinking in front of him like this, either. I have no proof, but I strongly believe that the boy has turned into an alcoholic over the summer."

Potter thought he had everybody fooled, but he saw right through everything. He was trying to get past all of the hurt in his life by resorting to substance abuse. Potter was well aware that Severus knew of his drinking, but he had no idea of his other suspicions that he was using illegal drugs to get high with.

He had no proof, but he intended to get it in some way. If it turned out to just be Marijuana, then Severus would not do anything because he was a casual pot smoker himself. Truthfully, he didn't consider weed to be a drug because it was a natural substance that grew in the ground. If he got wind of Potter doing any other drug, well he would not have a life for a very long time if Severus could help it.

"Alcoholic?" Black repeated

Severus sighed deeply. "We will further discuss this tomorrow when I am sure that you will be able to remember everything I'm saying. You need to sober up and I need to go find Potter. I'm not going to attempt to order you around because I know it will have no effect on you, but I strongly suggest you stay out of sight when we come back in."

Severus stood and left the room, stumbling a little as he did so. He transfigured his clothing into a pair of khaki shorts, a pair of sandals, and a simple black t-shirt before opening the front door and setting out to find the boy. He hoped Potter had not strayed too far away. He wasn't in the mood to chase a sixteen year old all over London.

He didn't have to search too hard. As he turned the corner at the end of the block, he spotted the boy sitting on the steps of an abandoned building. He had what looked like a portable Muggle computer perched on his knees and appeared to be talking to himself. As Severus got nearer, he realized that a voice was talking back to him.

"-need to stop drinking, Harry. I don't know about Wizards, but us regular people can get alcohol poisoning from drinking too much. I'm sure your godfather didn't mean what he said. Please stop."

Potter looked up at him as he reached the top step. He didn't even acknowledge his presence, just went back to his computer. Severus took a seat next to him and glanced over at the screen. There was an image of the boy that had come out of the house to hug him on the screen. He assumed a picture of Potter was showing up to the boy as well.

He watched as Potter picked up something from between his legs and swigged it. "Harry, seriously!" The voice from the computer exclaimed. Severus looked closer and recognized it to be a half pint of vodka. He had drunk half of the bottle in addition to the Firewhiskey and whatever he had consumed upstairs with Weasley. He decided to take matters into his own hands.

He grabbed the computer thing from the boy, despite his feeble attempts to snatch it back. The boy on the screen looked at him curiously. "I am a friend of Mr. Potters. I assure you he IS going to stop drinking in the next two seconds and he's going to be fine."

"Alright…thanks. Have him contact me tomorrow so I know he's alright" The boy said.

Severus nodded and not a moment later his picture disappeared. He took the computer and set it on the step next to him, not knowing how to shut it off. He turned to Potter and grabbed the bottle from in between his legs before he had a chance to protest. It took a moment, but Potter finally realized what he had just done.

"Give it back!" He yelled.

"No." Severus said simply. He was not scared or intimidated by the boy. He could throw as big of a fit as he wanted. He wasn't giving it back. "You will get alcohol poisoning if you keep drinking."

"Good! I don't care!" Potter yelled back, fumbling around in his pockets for something.

Severus let out a sigh of frustration. "You could die, do you not-"

"DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND, SNAPE! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF I LIVE ANYMORE. EVERY FUCKING MEMBER OF MY FAMILY HATES ME AND WANTS TO HURT ME. I CAUSE EVERYBODY SO MANY PROBLEMS WITH BEING THE BOY WHO FUCKING LIVED OR WHATEVER! DON'T YOU DARE PRETEND FOR A SECOND THAT YOU DON'T HATE HAVING TO LOOK OUT FOR ME ALL THE TIME! I DON'T DESRVE TO LIVE! I AM THE REASON THIS WAR HAS STARTED AGAIN! I AM THE REASON CEDRIC DIGGORY IS FUCKING DEAD! RON AND HERMIONE ARE HARDLY MY FRIENDS ANYMORE AND I DON'T BLAME THEM! I AM NOTHING COMPARED TO EVERYBODY ELSE!"

The boy had tears streaming down his face as he finished his screaming fit. Severus had not said a word through all of this, just let the boy voice his frustrations. He was appalled to learn the way he viewed himself. He blamed himself for the war and all of the deaths that came along with it. He had never been so wrong in his entire life.

"I don't wish you were dead." He said quietly.

Potter snorted through his tears and produced a tiny box from the inside of his pocket. He put it up to his lips and Severus realized that it was a cigarette. He was not going to scold him for smoking considering the breakdown he was currently having. Hell, he could even go for a cigarette at this point.

He jerked the pack out of his hands, ignoring the noise of protest that came from him. He pulled one of the cigarettes out before tossing the pack back onto his lap. He motioned for a lighter, noting the way Potter was gaping at him in shock as he handed it over. He lit his cigarette and took a long drag before speaking again.

"I am serious, Potter. There are very few people who I wish to be dead and you are not one of them. It has indeed upset my life to have to look after you all of the time, but that is none of your concern. I could very easily say no, but I do not. While I cannot speak for your Muggle relatives, Black does not hate you. He loves you very much and he knows his actions tonight were inexcusable. You are not the reason for this war. It would have happened anyway when the Dark Lord made himself known again. All you did was speed up the starting of the war, which is not entirely a bad thing. You cannot blame yourself for every bad thing that has happened." Severus finished speaking and took a sip from the bottle he had just taken from Potter.

Potter nodded and finished the last of his cigarette. Severus took another swallow from the bottle before pocketing it and taking a drag of his still lit cigarette. He stood and handed the computer contraption to Potter. "Can you shrink it for me?" He slurred out. He shrank it and put it in his own pocket for safe keeping.

"Are you ready to go back now?" He asked.

Potter nodded and stood up, but lost his balance immediately. Severus grabbed a hold of him and began to escort him back to Grimmauld place, head spinning with the nights events.